


Where Fireflies Lie

by Dafucq



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Break Up, Explicit Language, Gen, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Office Blow Jobs, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Denial, Slow Build, Time Travel, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-04-05 14:09:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 57,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14045946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dafucq/pseuds/Dafucq
Summary: Having lost the love of his life, Zhan ZhengXi isn't one to believe in second chances. One day on his way home he encounters a stranger with his lover's face and saves him from near death.





	1. Chapter 1 - ONE DAY

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I wrote this, but I did and now I'm sharing this with you in the hopes that I will finish this fic..... because I like to give up halfway (lol)

“Run! Hide! Don’t ever let them find you!”

It was the last thing JianYi would hear his grandfather say before being carelessly, unceremoniously, shoved into a hastily opened portal. The boy would find himself falling, unconscious of the illegal portal gun in his hands, and the gunshot wound to his shoulder until he reached his destination. Which planet, which sector he ended up on didn’t matter. He knew he couldn’t stay long, not when the inter-galactic authorities were now in pursuit, he had to follow his orders to run, to hide, to not ever be found, not if he wanted to live. He had to have faith that Grandpa Li will find a way to evade capture, escape possible death, that wherever JianYi ended up hiding in, his grandfather will eventually come for him.

He looked at the machine in his hands, one that did not belong to him, one he knew would get him arrested if he was ever found to be in possession of. Travelling through different sectors and planets and galaxies via portal gun wasn’t illegal if the gun was a standard issued model. But Grandpa Li just had to modify his to allow also for travel through time. JianYi sighed, moving the arm with the injured shoulder to test if the laser shot at him previously had hit any bone. It did not, and by some miracle had gotten clear of any major arteries, so that the blood loss he was experiencing now was negligible. 

He took a breath, closed his eyes and shifted the dial. If he was going to travel through time, it was better that he did not know which time period he would end up in (just in case they figured out a way to track his brain waves). He had only voluntarily done this once while the portal gun was in its testing phase, his grandfather using him as a test subject so Li could experiment without bias, and the boy still vividly remembered how it had left him sick to the stomach, to the point of almost collapsing when he emerged on the other side. He took a deep breath then, and forced himself to step into the newly created space.

Closer to midnight, Zhan ZhengXi had himself several options. He could’ve left early and caught that last train, he could’ve stayed with the rest of his colleagues and carried on drinking at that karaoke bar until the trains started running again closer to dawn, or he could’ve called for a taxi and gotten himself back home in a reasonable amount of time. It wasn’t that none of those options were less appealing to him, the mood just happened to strike him to take a walk over that many blocks, in the cold that he now realised he was underdressed for, in the dead of night in a city that wasn’t exactly safe, even for a man of his stature.

As though fate wanted him there, Zhan ZhengXi didn’t exactly notice when the blonde seemingly appeared out of nowhere, right smack in the middle of the street, oncoming traffic and everything. Later on, Zhan ZhengXi would chalk it all up to his slightly drunken state, the constant flickering of a street lamp that wasn’t bright enough to have been working well, and the fact that he saw literal flashbacks of a past he thought he had managed to push out of the recesses of his mind.

JianYi came through to the other side of the portal, miraculously still on his feet. He had barely seconds to get his bearings before the first waves of nausea hit him so hard, he felt his knees give way beneath the weight of his lithe frame. Subconsciously he noticed his fingers losing grip on the portal gun, shiny metal falling from his hand onto the tarmac, bouncing for a bit before a vehicle smashed its way over the hopefully unimportant bits. 

“Fuck…” was all Zhan ZhengXi got to hear from this stranger’s mouth, in reaction to what though the brunette couldn’t quite tell. Maybe it was a response to having almost been hit by a car if ZhengXi hadn’t been quick enough to pull the guy back, or perhaps it was from seeing his own phone? No, game console? No, whatever-that-metal-thingy-was get run over in his stead, or it could just have been something people say before throwing up the contents of your stomach onto the pavement. (props for missing your own shoes!) 

He assumed JianYi was drunk, and would have asked if he was okay before he saw what the blonde was wearing and wondered if he should adjust his judgement to crazy for wearing just a thin jacket in weather cold enough to snow. Then he saw the blood dripping off him and onto the ground and decided that his own thoughts could wait. He called the ambulance and not a second later, had JianYi collapse in his arms, all consciousness gone.

JianYi found out for himself that a sterile hospital setting looks, sounds, and smells the same despite what was becoming painfully obvious to him, that he might not have traveled too far back in time. Not that he would have preferred the middle ages, where he was more likely to have died of his wounds, or be accused of being a wizard and get himself beheaded for his efforts. He noted the IV needle attached to his vein, the pounding headache drawing attention away from the pain at his shoulder, white bandages wrapped over his chilled skin. He wore nothing above his waist, and JianYi had to double check that he wasn’t completely naked beneath the scratchy yet threadbare blanket.

“You’re awake.”

The time traveller hadn’t noticed he had company until it spoke, grey eyes panning over to the foot of the bed where it sat.

“They had to cut away your clothes, but I brought you some new ones.”

Putting the pieces together, JianYi understood that this stranger had been the one who put him in hospital. He sat himself up just fine, but the motion sent his head spinning and the blonde allowed a groan to escape when his face met the palms of his own hands. 

“This is probably not the best time but… the doctor said the injury to your shoulder looked like it came from a gun.”

JianYi knew what that statement implied.

“They didn’t find any gunpowder residue, or any conclusive evidence so I don’t think they’re gonna involve the police.”

Yet, the keyword was yet. Left unsaid, it hung over the room like a fog. It needed to be dispelled.

“Industrial accident, from a laser.”

JianYi’s voice sounded rough to himself, his throat dry from disuse, he wondered how long he had been out of it.

“Here, water.”

As though Zhan ZhengXi could read minds and conjure magic, the glass of water presented itself from out of thin air and disappeared again down JianYi’s throat.

“What do you mean by…”  
“Brother?”

His conversation interrupted, Zhan ZhengXi turned his attention towards the door, an image of his little sister in her nurse’s attire and a completely disapproving frown upon her face, beckoning with a firm nod of her head in the general direction of the hallway.

“ZiQian.”  
“Brother.”

Once upon a time he would have been amused.

“He just woke up, give me a bit of time, don’t inform the police just yet.”  
“Brother.”

He knew then, that whatever excuses he could use to buy the stranger time wouldn’t work.

“I know why you’re doing this, and I’ll even admit the resemblance is freakishly uncanny, but he’s not…”  
“I know sister, and I swear it’s not the reason why. I just wanna help.”  
“Then consider this a favour to you. He’s got no ID, he doesn’t look like he’s from around here, he has a very suspicious looking wound, and he had lost quite a lot of blood before you even found him in the middle of the night. The hospital is obliged to report such cases to the authorities, so it would be best for you to get him out of here quick as you can, and leave him at a shelter.”  
“You’ll pretend to know nothing?”  
“Nobody here knows you’re my brother ZhengXi.”

He felt a tiny twinge of guilt tug at his conscious while his sister turned and walked away, assuming the role of the ever attentive night nurse, directing any personnel traffic away from the corridor she just came from. 

Within no time at all, Zhan ZhengXi found himself back in the outpatient surgical room, his hands mindlessly working at the zipper of a bag he had rushed home to pack, muscle memory kicking in as he pulled the door shut, mentally working through the next few steps of what he would be accomplishing soon.

“Get dressed, you need to get out of here.”

JianYi didn’t seem at all surprised to find himself being kicked out of the hospital so soon. He eyed the layers of clothing offered to him for just a second more before getting off the bed, not caring that the other might still be watching him strip the pyjama bottom off. He tried to hurry as best as he could given the condition of his injuries and the still muddled state of his mind, eventually managing to look decent, though he chose to drape the coat over his shoulder, having wasted what remained of his energies on other articles of clothing. 

The interim had given Zhan time to think. He could for once in his life taken his sister’s advice and drop this man off at a shelter to fend for himself after tonight, or he could continue to be foolish and bring this stranger into his humble little abode. Beijing was filled to the brim with shammers and scammers and positively shady people pretending to be utter angels, but the brunette chose not to think about exactly that right now.

“You’re coming with me, ” he said, and that was that.


	2. Chapter 2 - TWO DAYS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JianYi discovers he is stuck in 2018, perhaps for good.

They hopped onto a taxi in the wee hours of the morning, the traffic already building up despite it being the weekend. No words were spoken other than the address to a particular apartment nestled in the outskirts of the city centre, but the silence that filled the space between the two men wasn’t awkward, or tense, or even uncomfortable. Neither one of them exchanged so much as a glance to the other, each person sat in the back seat of the hired vehicle, each leaning to their side of the car, staring out the window and lost within their own thoughts.

“Why are you helping me?”

JianYi found himself asking, a little after he had toed off his boots and left them by the doorway leading into a cozy little studio loft apartment. He could tell immediately his host lived by himself, and could probably guess his personality by the minimalistic, almost non-existent decor, and the choice of furnishing.

“You have no place to go.”  
“How would you know?”  
“You would’ve said something when we left the hospital.”  
“Fair enough.”

In his mind, Zhan ZhengXi had made plans to get them both into his home, but his plans became a fuzzy mess after that point. He couldn’t even tell if he had made the right decision, inviting a total stranger into his private sanctum, half convinced that once he awoke the next day, he would be missing all his earthly possessions, robbed blind for the kindness of his heart.  
JianYi couldn’t even begin to comprehend the actions of this person stood before him. The notion that anyone would offer help for absolutely nothing in return was a foreign concept to him. No one, or at least from where he came from, helped for the sake of helping, they always wanted something in return, something to be gained be it tangible or otherwise.

“I don’t have any money.” He paused, hesitating just a bit with the rest of his sentence. “And I don’t do sexual serv-“  
“Please don’t finish that sentence.” 

He interrupted, horrified expression on his face. 

“Just... I have my reasons for helping you alright? I don’t want anything from you. I don’t need anything from you, so just… stay. Stay until you’re fully healed, or stay until you’re back on your feet again, or just… just stay as long as you need to, or, something…” 

He didn’t realise he was rambling, until he stopped spewing words from his mouth, then after that he had to turn his back and walk away to cover the embarrassment he could feel creeping up his neck, knowing that his cheeks were burning from the heat of a blush.

“I understand.” And JianYi could not keep himself from smiling. “Hey, I feel like we skipped just a couple of steps here, so how about we start over?” He followed the brunette over to the kitchen area, though he made sure to keep his distance. “What’s your name?”

He stared at the hand that was offered to him, feeling the awkwardness to having made such an obvious social error presenting itself in the form of bashful scratching to the back of his head, after which he took the hand and shook it. Noting to himself the softness of his guest’s skin. 

“It’s Zhan ZhengXi.”  
“I’m JianYi, and thank you for helping me.”

The first thing JianYi noticed was that Zhan ZhengXi dropped his hand like it was hot as a flame, his face suddenly unreadable, the colour in his cheeks rapidly draining away, looking like he had seen a ghost. 

“You should rest, let your shoulder heal, you can use my bed, I’ll go change the sheets.” 

He had no idea what he did wrong to invite such a drastic change in personality from his host, but he let him go for now, too tired to ponder now that he felt safe enough to let the day’s anxieties and exhaustion wash over him so that all he wanted to do was to crawl beneath some sheets and pretend his life was still the same, and that all that happened was just an all too vivid dream.

After Zhan ZhengXi had tucked the blonde into his own bed, he thought about catching some sleep himself, yet he ultimately decided against it, choosing instead to leave his apartment to do some shopping for some essentials he thought JianYi might require, and a packed lunch and several snacks because humans needed to eat from time to time. He left everything he bought on a table with a note, took a shower, and then headed out again, seeking the company of an old friend he hadn’t thought to find in months.

When JianYi awoke, he discovered himself to be quite alone. He found the note that had been written to him, though he dismayed at not being able to find a key so he could let himself out. He ate the packed lunch but left the snacks alone (for now) and wanted nothing more than to take a shower though he knew he couldn’t because of his wound. So he resigned himself to remain feeling disgusting until perhaps his new friend comes home and maybe agrees to help him clean up. He spent a bit of time exploring what little space the small apartment could offer him, during which he made the wonderful discovery within that space. The apartment was a unit on the building’s top floor, and that unit happened to have access to a roof. The way to the roof was locked, but it was a simple and flimsy type of lock so JianYi managed to coax it to open for him. 

It was a cold day but he didn’t mind it, the sun was out so it offered a little warmth when the wind wasn’t blowing. He stood and stared out at the cityscape view that unfolded before him, unable to tell if he was going to be able to keep it all together until the time came for his grandfather to fetch him. He had found the broken portal gun, along with what little possessions he had on his person before his little unplanned trip, and he knew he didn’t have the skills necessary to fix the device and start looking for a better place and time period to further hide himself.

Sighing, he palmed his phone and powered it on, grateful for the fact that he had the foresight to spend a little more money to buy the version that did not require him to ever charge it.

“Emily.”

JianYi waited almost impatiently for the device to react to his voice command, a life sized hologram of a woman appearing a moment later in front of him, his very own customised artificial intelligence companion system.  
   
“Welcome back JianYi, please state your request.”  
“Disable device tracker for a start.”  
“Device tracker disabled, confirm.”

He considered it for a moment, then resisted the urge to try and contact anyone else, Opting instead to get an answer to one of his immediate questions.

“Initialize scan for time period and location.”  
“Affirmative. You appear to be in dimensional sector 33, planet Earth, location China, Beijing. Time period year 2018 month January.”

He tried to fight the panic that was rising from the pit of his stomach.

“Shit, why am I still on home planet?”  
“Would you like me to contact home base?”  
“NO! Put a lock down on all communications indefinitely. Add a voice recognition passcode to revert, use… Mosspaca.”  
“All communication functions disabled. Voice passcode active.”  
“Emily, disable hologram function, I don’t wanna have to explain you to people.”

The hologram woman gave an indignant look to its master before disappearing.

“May I suggest transporting to a time period more suitable for my reappearance?”  
“Can’t do that Emily, the portal gun Grandpa Li gave me is broken, possibly beyond repair, and it will take me forever even if I knew how to fix it.”  
“You have one unread message, would you like me to present it?”

Pale brows formed a frown, he did not like the sound of it, knew he shouldn't even be using his device as much as he was right then, but curiosity got the better of him.

"Identify sender and time stamp."  
"Sender Snake, time stamp indicative as three hours after you ported to your current location."  
"Why would he... Emily play the message."

There was a bit of a wait, and then a hologram emerged from his phone, a silver haired, yellow eyed figure staring right back at him. When it spoke, the familiar lazy yet smooth voice caused JianYi to clench his fists, the urge to punch whenever he encountered She Li as strong as ever, even if it was just a projected image of the snake.

"Where are you love? Old man Li's gone missing, home base is in chaos right now, did you two have anything to do with this? Don't be foolish JianYi, tell me where you are so I can come get you and we can sort this all out."  
The hologram disappeared thereafter, leaving the blonde to sit in silence in the cold, but it wasn't long until the entryway to the roof opened and Zhan ZhengXi's face popped into the scene, pulling him away from his thoughts.

"You're suppose to be resting JianYi. How did you get up here?"  
"I needed some air but you had me locked me in. Don't worry, I made sure not to break your flimsy little door."

The brunette sat himself beside the other, dark circles under his eyes indicating he was overdue for a needed rest, though the smile upon his face showed he didn't mind it much.

"Sorry, I meant to come back sooner. Shit you're freezing!"

He had only meant to give JianYi a reassuring touch on his shoulder, and discovered that he was cold to the touch, even trembling slightly from the wind gusting over them.

"That's enough air for today, let's get you back inside before you catch a cold, that would really fuck up your road to recovery.”  
“Yes Sir.” Said JianYi, gingerly gathering himself onto his feet before pausing. “I have a favour to ask.”

The sudden question got the other to quirk how brow in a silent prompt, shuffling his feet as he slowly backed his way towards the entrance back to his apartment, careful not to trip on the way.

“Well, there’s no easy way to put this, but I really need a wash, and I’m literally down to one arm, plus I don’t think I’m suppose to get my bandages wet?”  
“Oh.”

Zhan ZhengXi didn’t know what else to say. He had expected JianYi to ask many things, but he never expected to be asked this in particular. Something about being in a small enclosed bathroom with the other naked in front of him, and him having to touch the other whilst the other was naked made him somewhat nervous.

“Well I suppose I could help you wash your hair and maybe clean your back until your shoulder is healed?”  
“You’re the best!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea for Emily watching the latest Blade Runner, I'm not well versed in Sci-fi lore (can you call it a lore?) so I don't know why I made this sci-fi related.


	3. Chapter 3 - THREE DAYS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zhan ZHengXi lets HeTian in on his little secret and asks him for help.

That first week was the longest JianYi had ever had to endure on his own. He couldn’t go anywhere because his host wouldn’t allow it, citing the need to properly heal a wound as the perfect excuse to keep him locked in an apartment much too small for a house cat (and he really did feel like he was being treated like a house cat). So he busied himself with rest and sleep, and when he could no longer just rest and sleep, he occupied the time trading conversations with his AI companion, letting the hologram of her sit beside him on the sofa, giving him impromptu lessons on the time period he had fallen into by accident, hoping that the information would stick when the time came for him to blend in.

Zhan ZhengXi on the other hand, had spent that first week being distracted at work, making petty mistakes and minute messes he normally wouldn’t when he was on top of things. He spent a lot of his breaks with JianYi on his mind, mentally debating with himself, fighting that urge to tell his tiny circle of friends about his recent encounter, yet wondering if it was such a great idea. It was unknown to him how long his prisoner would be willing to stay (he had realised it only now that keeping the man locked up in his apartment for an entire week would probably count as kidnapping and false imprisonment should the police somehow be involved.) And if the blonde should choose to leave sooner rather than never, then what was the point of telling someone like HeTian?

Zhan ZiQian had been convinced by her brother to show up at the apartment to take a look at JianYi’s wound, albeit begrudgingly, since she did not approve of many of her brother’s choices in life, yet she still loved him dearly. 

“How’s his…”  
“It’s healing well and will continue to do so if he continues with what he’s been doing all along. You know brother that I am not a doctor right?”  
“You would’ve become a doctor if you hadn’t decided to drop out of medical school to become a nurse.”

When they were younger his sister used to cling onto him and pout and whine and tried anything to win his affections and back then he had thought her to be annoying, though strangely endearing. Now he would give anything to have that version of his sister back, instead of this spiteful thing standing in front of him, insisting to question his every move, wanting to control what he thought, needing to change him back to the way he was before high school happened.

“I also clearly advised you to leave him at a shelter, which your home clearly isn’t.”  
“He needed my help!”  
“Did he ask, or did you insist?”  
“It doesn’t matter ZiQian, why are you being so…”  
“I’m doing this for your own good brother. Or do I have to remind you what happened when.”  
“Stop. I didn’t ask you here to fight.”

She could clearly tell how upset her brother had become, so she stopped herself from spitting out whatever hurtful words she had in her mind, opting instead to sigh and then closing the distance between them to give her brother an apologetic hug. 

“You’re right, I didn’t come here to fight you either. I’m just concerned about you and I don’t want you doing anything stupid.”

With that, she kissed her brother goodbye and left.

That second week, JianYi was given a key to the apartment and some cash, and he started spending most of those days exploring the neighbourhood, returning just before Zhan ZhenXi was due to be home. The latter would spend everyday of that second week convinced that he would find his apartment empty for good when he got home, and when he would always return home to find JianYi still sitting in his apartment waiting for him to be back, welcoming him home, he would breathe a sigh of relief.

“Don’t you have questions?”

It was a Saturday morning, Zhan ZhengXi had made them a simple breakfast and they had eaten it in silence before JianYi set his chopsticks down in favour of staring at his benefactor. 

“Why would I?”  
“Don’t try to deny it. I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me. You have questions but you don’t know how to ask them.”

It was Zhan ZhengXi’s turn to set his own chopsticks down, taking his time to chew almost reflectively before chasing it down with a sip from his bowl of broth.

“What would those questions be, if I had them?”

JianYi gave pause, organising his thoughts before he could articulate them. He wondered just how much he could share information about himself without appearing to be a lunatic, because just who the hell would believe him if he said he had travelled through time using a flimsy little palm size machine that he couldn’t prove because it was broken?

“I dunno? Stuff like who am I? Where did I come from? Why was there a hole in my shoulder when you found me? I mean… those are the questions I would ask you if we switched roles.”  
“Alright, So who are you? Where did you come from? Why was there a hole in your shoulder when I found you?”

There was sort of a subtle mocking tone to those questions being repeated back like that, and the blonde found himself arranging a frown into his brows, not quite trusting his instincts all of a sudden.

“If you’re not going to tell me anyway, then what would be the point in my asking?”  
With that said, Zhan ZhengXi picked up his chopsticks and continued his breakfast.   
“I just thought…”  
“Tell me what’s really bothering you JianYi.”

He couldn’t bring himself to look at JianYi then, couldn’t shake the feeling that this whole conversation felt so familiar, like he’d had it before with someone else, years and years ago, with a person he had mostly tried to forget until recently.

“I don’t want to sound like I’m being ungrateful or anything but, I cannot understand why you’re so willing to help me, and I’m not sure how much I can trust you to mean what you say when you said I could stay here for as long as I wanted to for nothing in return. I’m used to people wanting something from me when they offer me help.”  
“And you’re waiting for me to do just that? Gosh JianYi, if I had wanted something from you I wouldn’t need to wait two fucking weeks. Have a little faith in me why don’t you?”

Abruptly he stood up, chair scratching against the wood flooring as he gathered used cutlery and bowls, setting them down in the ceramic sink very much louder than he had intended it to. He turned the tap on, distracting himself with doing the dishes while the other stood up and joined him at his side, placing his own dishes in the sink.

“I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant at all. I just… feel bad, I don’t want to be living in your home, eating your food, stealing your bed and using your money like some, like some, gigolo. No wait, what’s the correct word?”  
“Freeloader, the word you’re looking for is freeloader.”

Zhan ZhengXi couldn’t help but smile at his new friend’s odd choice of words, shaking his head as he felt he could no longer remain upset.

“Right.” 

The blonde turned to lean his ass against the kitchen counter, glancing sideways while the other continued to scrub away under the running tap. 

“You think you could maybe find me a job? I’d like to contribute to your efforts to keep me here. I can do a lot of things, I just may not be able to produce an ID so….”  
“I’ll see what I can do.”

HeTian found his Sunday morning being interrupted by the loud calling from his phone. He’d forgotten to turn it off before he retired for the night in the wee hours of the morning and now he was regretting it when he saw just whose name had popped up on the screen. 

“What?”

His voice cracked a little, his throat parched after an evening of binging on alcohol and cigarettes. He noted the absence of any signs of a telling hangover. Small mercies.

“Meet me at the Four Season’s at eleven. We’re having brunch. I’ll explain when you’re there.”  
“What the fuck?”

HeTian should have expected it, but his caller had already hung up on him, which meant that he had to show up. It was a quirky little way of inviting people, rude even, but he didn’t mind. After all, he had invented that method himself while they were both in high school. They would never have hung out if they made plans the way normal people do. He contemplated the thought of returning himself to slumber, but that urge to pee and the interest to hit the gym triumphed over his need for sleep.   
He arrived at the hotel purposefully late, his way of showing how much he disagreed with the choice of time and venue to meet. He would have preferred the setting of a downtown bar, at a time when the sun no longer poured light into the sky. 

“I don’t do brunch you piece of shit.”

But he ordered himself food anyway, settling down to look expectantly at his longtime friend, happy to wait until the other was ready to start talking.  
Zhan ZhengXi unlocked the phone already in his hand, fiddled with it a bit before setting it down on the table, sliding it across to HeTian so he could get a proper look.

“I’ll get straight to the point so you can tell me if I’m going crazy. I met him two weeks ago, wanna guess what his name is?”

The man sitting across made no move as he stared at the screen presented to him, allowing time to pass and the screen to dim from idling before he reached to take the phone and to get a proper look at the photo of a smiling blonde with a familiar face he didn’t think he would see again.

“You trying to fuck with me?”  
“I’m not. That photo is real. His name is JianYi.”  
“But he’s not…” There was hesitation then in the dark haired man, uncharacteristic for someone who oozes confidence all of the time. “He’s not our…”  
“Of course he isn’t HeTian, don’t be an idiot. You were there too when it happened, and at the hospital when they pulled his life support? Doesn’t matter that you didn’t turn up at the funeral, dead is dead.”

Zhan ZhengXi surprised himself. He didn’t think he could talk about that incident between them so casually, and it must have been the first time he had the guts to bring it up. For years they have spent their friendship carefully skirting away from this topic, burying it away in their hearts like it didn’t exist. Theirs was a friendship built entirely without the messy associations of touchy feely emotions. (Or at least that’s what they say to themselves.)

“So you manage to find a doppelgänger.” 

He thumbed the photo on the screen, zooming in to get a better look at a face that had, at one point in his life as a young teen, made regular guest appearances in his sexual fantasies. 

“You fucking him already?”  
“What? No! Why would you say that?”  
“That’s your sofa in your apartment, and that’s your shirt he's wearing. I bought you that shirt so I know that much. If you’re not shagging him then explain yourself.”

HeTian slapped the phone back onto the table and unceremoniously shoved it back to the direction of the owner, hoping as an after thought, that it would end up sliding off to the carpeted floor.

“He’s in a bit of trouble so I’m helping him. At the moment he’s staying at my place cause he’s got no where else to go, and I was hoping you could fix him up with a job. He can’t produce identification at the moment so that’s why I’m asking you.”  
“Hey I’m not running a charity here okay? And you’re doing all of this for him just because he looks like our JianYi? How do you know you can trust him?”  
"Because." 

The brunette started and then had to pause because their food arrived, and he didn't like strangers eavesdropping on his conversations. The waiter seem to take longer than usual to walk away, annoying ZhengXi well enough to start glaring the retreating figure. 

"He's been at my place two weeks already and hasn't done shit alright? You can tell me that he's just biding his time or whatever, but I trust him enough to vouch for him. Even if he didn't have that face I would still stick by what I said." 

And he knew then that it was a blatant lie. Had JianYi been anyone else, he knew he would have left him at the hospital and not think twice about it. He started his meal then, needing to do something to hide his face from his friend, so that maybe he wouldn't get caught in his lie.

"I will help you on account of our friendship, but I wanna meet him first. Send him to my office tomorrow, I'll see where I can place him from there."  
"Thanks, I appreciate that."  
"Don't thank me yet, there's a chance I might not like him.”  
“You liked the last one well enough.” came the snarky, mumbled reply which he then tried to gloss over with a well timed change in topic. “How’s Mo? Haven’t seen him around since the last time I saw him.”

HeTian recognised the obviousness of what his friend was trying to achieve. After all, it was the only time he would bring up the name.

“Same old. Still a pilot. Still spends more time out of the country than in it.”  
“Still avoiding you huh?”  
“Haven’t I told you before to butt out?”  
“Can’t help it, I still consider you a friend, so I’m almost obligated to.”

HeTian snorted out an unamused laughter, shaking his head as wondered just how many times they were going to have to do this back and forth. As the years passed he had lost count, but humans were prone to fall back on habits so he knew he would be answering this particular question again, because otherwise what the heck else were they going to talk about? 

“We weren’t good for each other and we still aren’t. Right now we’re good with this arrangement. I will be his beacon for when he gets tired of the sky and wants to come home, we will hang out, catch up, fuck ourselves raw, and then off he goes again, back into the sky all rejuvenated and whatever. I don’t have a problem with it and neither does he. Now eat your fucking food and stop with the shitty questions.”


	4. CHAPTER 4 - FOUR DAYS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HeTian finally meets JianYi, ZhengXi starts behaving strangely.

Attempting to navigate the subway system in a city with a population of close to twenty two million can be mildly unsettling. That daunting task being set about by a certain blonde who found the near primitive method of transportation almost edging to the brink of frustration as he got lost not once, but twice, even with the enlisted help of Emily. After what felt to him like an immense, and quite frankly, pointless struggle, the future man finally found the right station to get off. It was a wonder to JianYi that the people living in such a backward time could get anything done. (And from what he could remember of his history lessons back when he was still in school, the people of the twenty first century barely got anything significant done.)

He stumbled out of the station, alongside dozens of other people at the tail end of the usual morning rush hour. He thought he was in one of those period zombie shows the old hags back in his timeline liked to watch so much and gossip about, for everyone about him looked so dead in the eyes,almost soul-less while they marched onward to their destinations, some not even bothering to look where they’re heading while they stared at the screens on their smartphones (a term which JianYi recently learnt, but found puzzling since the devices were exactly very smart). 

He double checked the directions and address ZhengXi had provided him with (alongside a poorly drawn map), gazing skyward at the skyscrapers towering toward the clouds which bore a familiar resemblance to the buildings he had grown up with, a little reminder that certain things remained unchanged even when the times did. Emily directed him to a quaint little building, verily dwarfed by all the glass giants surrounding it. Once inside he found himself whisked away into the elevator and up to the highest floor it could offer, where he found himself sat on a rather luxurious sofa and told to wait for the longest time.

"JianYi?"

Face lifting at the sound of his own name being called, he glanced over the figure walking towards him from the room's only entrance, taking note especially of the curious confidence radiating from a face that belonged on billboards and fashion covers. He could guess immediately what Zhan ZhngXi had meant when he told him that he would know it when he saw him.

"You must be HeTian, I'm pleased to meet you."

He stood up and stuck out his hand for a greeting, to which HeTian ignored and simply stood staring at him like he was observing a creature he had encountered for the first time.

"ZhengXi wasn't kidding around, you do look exactly like him."

"I'm sorry?"

 JianYi let his outstretched hand fall to his side, confusion now creeping into his brows as they furrowed, unsure of what he should to do or even say next.

"And of course he hasn't told you. How typical of him, the prick. Have a seat, sorry for the outburst, but it's a bit hard to fully explain when Ah Xi obviously hasn't let you in on anything."

HeTian moved away and beckoned his guest to a chair in front of the sturdy oak desk covering one side of the room, set against the floor length windows that allowed the full light of day to flood the room.

"I hear you're staying at ZhengXi's place, tell me, how much do you know about him?"

JianYi was under the impression that he was here for a job interview, instead he's being asked all sorts of weird questions that had nothing to do with any sort of work, and it frustrated him a little and left him feeling like he was at the end of a practical joke he wasn't particularly interested in participating in. But then again, maybe this was the way people of this current century went about doing things, so he kept his cool and tried his best to accommodate with the weird behaviour.

"I met him two weeks ago, that's not a lot of time to get to know someone to be honest."

"He ever talk about his past to you? Let you in on why he's so willing to let you into his home?”

“I get the feeling I’m missing something crucial here, you have information that I don’t?”

HeTian could only smile as he observed the other, relishing slightly in how uncomfortable the blonde looked. It was nostalgic even, reminding him of the better years at the end of his boyhood, how he used to tease people just to watch them squirm. He approached him now the way a fox would approach a rabbit, slow and steady towards the chair, then bending until he had both his hands wrapped around the arm rests of the piece of furniture, effectively locking the blonde in.

The future man should have felt intimidated by that gesture, the way other people would when a person like HeTian did what he did to them. Instead he got more and more annoyed, unable to guess at what type of game this strange man was playing at, yet he refused to lose. He guessed that if he started to quiver and show a sign of weakness that he was done for. So instead, JianYi let off an audible sigh, raised one hand to grab hold of the other’s wrist, while his free hand snaked up around HeTian’s neck to pull him in so close his lips were almost touching a ear that he could attempt to bite off should he be in the mood.

“Zhan ZhengXi told me you’re his friend so I’m trying incredibly hard not to be rude, but I’m here for the sole purpose of a job interview, and if we’re not going to do that then how about we stop wasting each other’s time?”

He let go then, and for a reaction, HeTian simply straightened himself up and started laughing so hard he couldn’t stop until he ran out of breath.

“Fine, you’re hired, lemme draw up some paperwork and I’ll let ZhengXi know when and where you should report for work.”

“You’ve got a huge fucking problem you know that?”

JianYi was dead serious in his commentary, but HeTian simply shrugged it off.

“Everybody’s got one. Who cares? Now why don’t you head on back and maybe ask ZhengXi what happened in high school. He needs to tell you, and frankly, you need to know. Tell him I won’t give you a job until he does that. I’ll call him later to drive home that point.”

“You can’t just tell me yourself?”

“I could, but it’s not my place to tell, and he needs to be the one to say it.”

JianYi left after that cryptic conversation with a person he didn’t quite like, even if he found the face to be unbelievably attractive to him. He didn’t think pursuing a direct answer would amount to anything, so he pinned his hopes instead on the one he would be returning home to. At least he knew Zhan ZhengXi would be less of an asshole and he couldn’t understand just how those two men could possibly be actual friends.

The apartment was predictably empty when he let himself through and parked his ass on the sofa. The journey back home was equally excruciating, though now he had to remind himself that he needed to get used to this primitive way of living, at least until Grandpa Li was ready to take him home. After a while he decided to kick back and laid himself down, staring at the ceiling as he contemplated his earlier meeting with HeTian, trying to determine if he had liked him at all, and putting wild guesses on why, historically anyway, those tall, well built and blessed with good looks tend to be able to get away with seemingly anything. Eventually he released a soft sigh and closed his eyes, knowing that his room mate would be back soon.

Zhan ZhengXi had at first thought that JianYi hadn’t yet come home when he unlocked the door to a darkened apartment. Though soon after, in the fading evening light, he spotted a figure laying vulnerable on his sofa and smiled. He sat all his belongings down, footfalls soft as he approached, dropped his coat down on the floor, before crouching low to be closer to the sleeping form. For the longest time he watched in silence as the last of the sun’s rays cast impossibly long shadows across his apartment. He stared so hard, as though he wanted nothing more than to memorise that face, imprint every line of his face, every fall of pale hair, every curve of those lips. 

Eventually he dared reach out to him, gingerly brushing hair away from the sleeping face, locks that were just as soft as he once remembered it had felt to touch. He felt deeply attracted, drawn to the man in front of him, and as if in a trance, he couldn’t help but to lean in, to close the distance between them, to want to claim those lips with a kiss. And he didn’t stop until he did stop, so damn close that JianYi’s breath mingled with his own, touching his cheeks reminding him that this was not just some midsummer dream that he could do whatever he wanted. This was real and it frightened him enough to draw himself back, appalled at what he was about to do. Zhan ZhengXi stood up, leaving the coat still on the floor and then he left, wanting more than anything to stay but knowing that staying would simply lead to his own ruin.

The door slammed shut and JianYi awoke with a shock. It took him a while to re-orientate himself, to remember what he was last doing before accidentally falling asleep. He sat up, spotting immediately the discarded coat on the floor despite the failing light, calling out to the empty apartment even though he knew on instinct that he was now alone. He didn’t want to guess what happened, but he knew he needed to find Zhan ZhengXi at once.

The man hadn’t gone very far, managing only to get to the building across the road before he stopped trying to run away from his problems. He paced the walkway back and forth, shoving his hands into his pockets to starve off the cold. He had given up on smoking years ago, having picked it up at university to cope with the stress of never ending assignments and also to appear cool in front of the girls, but for once in a very long time, he wished he hadn’t. 

"ZhengXi?"

Thanks to Emily and its ability to track down cellphone signals, JianYi found his friend in no time at all, glad to know he hadn't gone too far and quite concerned that he looked a little anxious while shivering in the cold.

“You left your coat.”

He didn’t know how to address the situation, having not known what had set the other running off so suddenly. Perhaps Zhan ZhengXi had seen a ghost, or maybe JianYi was drooling in his sleep with his mouth open and the sight was so frightening that door slamming and running away was essential. Either way he moved to drape the coat over cold shoulders while he hope to get an honest answer from his friend.

“I don’t know how to explain myself, but I’m sorry.”

The blonde deliberated for a bit over what his response to that explanation should be before he simply smiled and moved to drape an arm over square shoulders.

“Let’s go get food, I’m hungry.”

They found a noodle shop tucked away in a cosy corner, packed to the brim with people sitting elbow to elbow, it was luck that they weren’t forced by the loud-mouthed lady boss to sit separate from each other. Over the chattering of conversations of people trying to be heard over the din, the two men stayed silent, contented to simply enjoy each other’s company over their meal of soggy noodles in broth so salty, they’d be gulping water for hours after. 

“How did it go with HeTian this morning?”

Zhan ZhengXi was the first to break the silence between them. Having been kicked out of the noodle establishment as soon as both had finished their meals, it was suddenly a lot quieter, and the brunette found himself eager to dispel whatever awkwardness that still lingered as a result of his sudden fight or flight response to having almost kissed his friend.

“He’s a fucking asshole, I cannot understand how you are friends with someone like him.”

JianYi could only offer a deadpanned stare as he waited for the outburst of laughter to die off, looking like he had asked a genuine question rather than just simply stating an opinion.

“Yeah he’s a prick, even to his friends, so don’t put too much thought on it. It’s his defence mechanism you know? To weed out all the fakers who want to get close to him just because he’s rich. He’s been like that since Junior High.”

“I know a guy who’s like that, rich, good looking, behaves like a total bastard just because he can. Known him from way back, but I still wouldn’t consider him to be my friend.”

“HeTian is… He’s not all bad. I dare say he’s got a good heart underneath all that shitty behaviour. Surely you’ll feel the same way too after you get to know him.”

“Right.”

JianYi thought about SheLi then, picturing those silver locks and yellow eyes and that perpetual smirk that always made you feel dirty, and then he tried to imagine a character like him with a good heart, and, nope, that was just not happening. On second thoughts though, HeTian seemed to give off a different vibe when he met him. His smiles weren't toying smirks and the way he looked at you didn't make you feel like he was trying to undress you with his eyes.

"What happened in high school?"

That question alone caused the brunette to completely stop in his tracks, goosebumps flaring all over his skin that had nothing to do with the cold wind blowing in the night. JianYi hadn't noticed his companion was no longer by his side until he turned to face him, hoping to prompt an answer out of him. He looked over to find Zhan ZhengXi standing stock still on the pavement, dark expression unreadable upon his face. At this point the blonde could give a wild guess as to what was going on, that something about himself had reminded the other of unpleasant memories. He was familiar with that look, as it was the same exact look his very own mother would give him sometimes, because he looked so much like his own father, and he had given his mother hell before he died.

"You know what? Forget I asked. It's late, let's just go home."

It wasn't hard to guess where JianYi had gotten the idea to question from, and it was now that ZhangXi started to regret telling HeTian and asking him for help. It was a risk he had forgotten to take into consideration but it was much too late now to think about regrets, and as both men made their way back up the apartment, the brunette started to feel the guilt he was so good at keeping at bay creep its way back into his heart. Not now he told himself, not yet he repeated in his head over and over, perhaps later he considered, perhaps in the morning. He headed straight for the bathroom, having convinced himself that it would be better to wait until they had both gotten some sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are the chapters too short? Is the plot developing too slow?
> 
> Updates are going to be less frequent now, I write a lot while I have ideas and stop for a long time when I run out.


	5. Chapter 5 - FIVE DAYS

He found himself in a field, as far as the eye could see, filled to the brim with wild flowers growing in every direction, reaching as high up as his waist, colours bursting until he could no longer tell one shade from the other. The sun shone dimly overhead, casting a soft glow through the mist that surrounded him. He looked up to the sky to find stars shining through the clouds, though he did not find it strange. A gentle breeze blew, rustling through the field, playing with the locks of his hair.

Time passed and he found himself walking towards the dark, to where the moon was sliver of a crescent, like a cheshire smile, hung low beneath the stars. The flowers now replaced by tall grass, blades bending towards him as he strode on, brushing and clinging, as if begging him not to go. He realised now that he was heading towards a strange and eerie glow, a thousand lights glinting then disappearing like a beacon from a light house. Soon he realised those lights were all fireflies, their tiny bodies blinking yellow and orange and green and still he walked on, not knowing how long his journey had lasted, not knowing what his destination was, only trusting that he knew where he was going, why he was doing this, although he couldn’t remember why.

He travelled beyond the glow, coming to a halt when he found a river, black water rushing across its bed as if in a hurry to be some place else. He looked around trying to find his purpose, his gaze stopping upon a figure laying prone against the river bank just on the other side. He recognised the form instantly so he ran, feet splashing black water as he waded across to be with him.

“Zhan XiXi you found me. Come, lay down with me.”

The pale locks, the smiling face, the Secondary school uniform was exactly as he remembered them to be. None of it should have made sense, but he did as was instructed and laid down beside him, not noticing that the river was now gone, and his clothes were no longer wet. He didn’t notice that he too, was wearing his old uniform.

“Zhan XiXi, let’s get ourselves into the same High school. With luck, we might even end up in the same class again, and we will find a seat by the window, and I’ll sit right behind you like I do right now. Then we will work hard and enter the same university, maybe I’ll even get into the same course as you, because it wouldn’t matter what degree I get, just as long as I can stay with you. And after we graduate we can look for work in the same company, we can look for an apartment together to move into, that way we’ll save on rent, plus I get to sleep with you every single night! Wouldn’t that be awesome?”

He found that he couldn’t speak, frowning when no words could form from his throat, then he found himself standing at the top of a hill, the cityscape below them as fireflies illuminated themselves around them.

“I love you. Zhan XiXi, promise me you’d never leave me.”

Strong arms embraced him hard, but he felt no warmth radiating from that body, in fact it was icy cold, like the snow. He shivered from the relentless touch, finding his fingers numb, unable to find a grip to pull himself away from the constraints. He was tied in ropes now, and hanging from a barren tree overlooking the river with its dark waters beckoning him like sirens off at sea. He wanted so much to scream, yet again when he opened his mouth, no sound could be heard, only the sounds of fluttering wings as a thousand winged insects with swollen, glowing bellies clamouring to escape from within him.

“Zhan XiXi are you ashamed of me? If you really love me then why does it matter what other people think of us? Of me? Of you? I don’t care what others say, what they think or choose to believe. I love you so much that it’s driving me insane and you know that! So why are you doing this? WHY?”

He was watching his younger self now, stuck in a helpless situation while he was hopeless to do anything. He was no longer chained to the tree but he found himself rooted to the ground, unable to move while still unable to shout. He knew how this would end, just as he had seen how this had ended so many times before. He struggled and he fought, desperate to uproot himself, kicking and thrashing until his legs broke off. He felt no pain even as the blood stained the grass red. Crawling over the dried up corpses of those fireflies now he made his way over to his younger self, his progress painfully slow.

Everything started to slow now, the final scene played frame by frame. The deserted streets, the traffic crossing with the lights that were constantly faulty, the stepping off the curb of a certain blonde figure, too upset and too distraught to mind where he was going. He was so close now, clawing and scratching at the gravel, his hands bloody with effort. This time, maybe this time, he could do it, he could stop it, he could keep him safe. The truck came out of nowhere just like it always did, tyres screeching as the wheels were forced into a halt. 

 

When a person is described as having just woken up from a nightmare in a movie or a book, they’re always described as bolting upright in a sitting position while screaming their head off. In reality this never really happens, as Zhan ZhengXi can attest to it, when he awoke from this particular nightmare with nothing more than a jerk of his foot. He opened his eyes and found his heart racing inside his chest, his pyjama shirt soaked through with sweat, his skin clammy and cold to the touch. He stared at the ceiling from where he lay on his sofa, trying his damnedest to calm his beating heart as he tried to think about anything other than that last image of the nightmare he’d just had. 

He sat up and discarded the blanket onto the floor, hunching over his knees while he dug his palms into the sockets of his eyes, needing to fight the nausea that threatened to overwhelm him. When was the last time he had dreamt of the incident? He tried to recall and guessed that it must have been at least a few years. He stood up, giving in to the urge to puke as he made his way into the bathroom and emptied what remained in his stomach from dinner into the toilet. He splashed ice cold water on to his face over the sink in a bid to calm himself down, but his still trembling hands told him that the effort was futile. Finally he made his way up the loft to his double futon bed on the floor, knowing that if nothing else, the imagine of a sleeping blonde, alive and breathing (even if he really wasn’t his childhood friend) would keep his mind off the darkness in his mind.

He sat himself on the floor and stared at the sleeping form for the longest time before he made any moves to get closer, eventually sitting himself by the edge of the low frame, moonlight peeking through the half-moon window offering just enough light to see. He didn’t mean to touch him, but his fingers were already on JianYi’s face, sweeping away blonde hair, tracing the light arches of his brows. He couldn’t take control of the immense amount of different emotions welling deep within his chest. Before he could realise, tears had sprung themselves within his eyes, threatening to spill while his teeth sank deeper into his soft lip.

The blonde awoke, eyes fluttering open like butterfly wings at rest. He blinked, surprised to find Zhan ZhengXi by his side, though he didn’t mind. He moved to rub the sleepiness away from his eyes, and reached out to stop the other from leaving when the latter made the move to stand up. JianYi noted just how his friend seemed to behave oddly, face turned away like he was hiding.

“ZhengXi? What’s wrong?”

He sat himself up on the bed, hand still firmly holding onto the wrist he had grabbed onto earlier, afraid that letting go would leave the other free to bolt away.

“Was it a nightmare?”

He noted the clammy, cold skin, then reached out with his free hand to look for a fever on the other’s forehead, and once he confirmed that his friend wasn’t sick, he took the opportunity to pull that face closer so he could see better in the semi-dark. What he discovered was Zhan ZhengXi crying, and he found he didn’t like seeing that heart wrenching expression at all on a face such as his.

“Come here.”

Gingerly coaxing the man into bed with him, JianYi then wrapped long arms around to embrace him, rubbing a warm hand against the other’s back as the brunette fiercely clung onto him, buried his face within the crook of the blonde’s neck, and started to weep. JianYi tried his best to comfort him despite not knowing what had happened, and all the while ZhengXi was mumbling apologies like a chant.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, oh god I’m so sorry…”

They did not move until the tears had stopped falling and the chanting fell silent, JianYi manoeuvring them both as best he could without breaking their positions, eventually laying down on the bed with ZhengXi still safely in his arms. And it was like this that they both managed to fall asleep.

When the sun came out, ZhengXi awoke to discover that he was all alone in his own bed, the covers pulled up all the way to his chin. He closed his eyes, buried his face into his pillow and stayed very still, inhaling a scent that did not belong to himself. The events of the previous night returned to him along with the subtle feeling of regret. He was unsure now how to face his friend, trying still to think of ways to avoid having to explain himself. Perhaps he could pretend to be asleep until his room mate had gone away.

Eventually reason got him out of bed, sighs escaping him when he saw for himself just how puffy his eyes had become from all that unnecessary crying. He tried his best to make himself presentable, drowning his face under the faucet pouring cold water in hopes that he would look a little less like his beloved dog had died. 

Having gotten dressed he let himself be enticed into the kitchen by the appetising smells of breakfast cooking over a flame, and he sat himself down at the table in time to see JianYi turn away from the stove with fried eggs in a pan with a look of genuine surprise to see him already there.

“Good morning. You’re just in time for breakfast.”

Future man had made something simple, fried eggs, bacon and butter on toast, which he ate in silence as he watched his friend consume the food while completely avoiding any form of eye contact. Finally he could stand it no longer and broke the silence between them whilst moving to refill their glasses with orange juice.

“Last night.”

“Can we not do this?”

JianYi gave pause at the interruption, staring at his friend while the other continued to avoid looking back at him. He frowned, determined not to let this matter be swept under any sort of rug.

“My dad was a horrible person.”

The blonde figured that he might get ZhenXi’s attention if he talked about something else and he was right, and as ZhengXi glanced his way with confusion on his brows, he continued his little tale.

“He was a petty criminal, the sort who was always in and out of jail, treating it like some sort of resort. From when I was very little, I hated him, he always gave my mother a hard time. She had to work two jobs because he’d gamble away our money. I hardly every saw her because of that, and when I did see her, all I can remember was him beating her for refusing him money. He never touched me because my mother would make sure he didn’t, though I was too small to understand that. Anyway, my mother killed him in the end, stabbed him out of self defence and he bled out and died, right smack in the middle of our home. After that I still hardly ever got to see her because she still had to work two jobs to raise me and keep us out of debt. When I got older she started to avoid me. I realised later it was because I look a lot like my dad. Still, some nights she’d come into my room completely hysterical. She would cling onto me and start apologising and crying until she fell asleep.”

He stopped his story then, wanting to give the other a chance to speak up if he wanted to, but when he said nothing the blonde continued.

“I’ve forgotten all about that until last night, so tell me, was all of that because of me? Did I make you remember something bad? Your friend HeTian was very adamant that I make you tell me about your past. Why?”

Silence dominated the room, JianYi keeping himself from probing any further while ZhengXi fought hard not to run away from the situation. Time was allowed to pass with the tension in the air between the two, and then the brunette stood up slowly, looked at his room mate, and then smiled a sad smile. Now he felt he had no choice, because too much had happened and he was out of excuses. 

“Let me show you something.”

With that, he moved, not waiting to determine if the blonde was indeed following behind him, he went to a dusty corner of his apartment beneath the loft and started to shift things away, years of useless accumulated possessions that had enough sentimental value to prevent their being thrown away. JianYi watched as the other worked, eventually opening a box and removing everything on top until he got to the bottom of it and pulled out what looked to him to be an old book which was then offered to him. He took it in his hands, unsure of what to do with it before he simply sat down beside the other and turned over the cover, and only then did he realise that it was an album collection of photos. The very first one were of two young boys, all dressed up in costume, one was a flower and the other a leaf. It didn’t take JianYi very long to find that something was off about the photograph. He flipped through the album page by page, the pictures unfolding before him like some sort of timeline, as the young boys grew older and other people were included and then excluded or switched, the two boys were always together, until they grew out of their childhood and into their teenage years. The last few shots were especially intimate, he could tell they weren’t just friends anymore.

“I see why HeTian insisted that I find out. I look exactly like him. Where is he now?”

It didn’t escape his notice that there were no photos of the two boys as adults, and he deduced that something must have happened between them. What though?

“His name…” 

Zhan ZhengXi thought very carefully over the words he should use, deliberating over where to start his story, and which parts he ought to omit from his narration. He stared at the floor as he continued, gathering his knees to himself in a hug, as though protecting himself from the reality of his words.

“His name was JianYi. The first time I met him was when I was five. He came to my kindergarten in the middle of the year, and no one wanted to play with him, so I befriended him. At the time he was small, timid and frail, so I protected him from the bullies and I became his best friend. In fact I was his only friend until we started Primary school, but even then he’d only hang out with me. He never met his father, and his mother was never around, so I pitied him, and spoilt him the way my parents would my little sister. We met HeTian in Secondary school, he fancied JianYi, maybe even wanted him for himself, so he forced his way into our inner circle, but he gave up trying to chase JianYi’s tail, and found someone else to target soon after. JianYi was strangely popular with the boys.”

He paused his monologue and turned his gaze up to the man listening to his woe. He wanted to watch the other’s reaction as he continued.

“He made you feel like you could have him, if he wanted you to.”

JianYi blinked and his gaze faltered. So keenly aware was he of what that sentence had meant that he ended up feeling a little embarrassed. He struggled to meet ZhengXi’s intense line of sight, his throat feeling a little dry as he swallowed and dared to ask.

“You were in love.”

It wasn’t a question so much as a statement of fact. The blonde could already piece all parts of the story together to know without asking.

“Yes, but I was in denial. The year we were to graduate, he confessed and I accepted it in my own way, but I never wanted anyone to know, so he kept it a secret. HeTian figured it out on his own, no one else realised. He was happy at first, though maybe because nothing between us had changed, he realised he wanted more. When we started high school, he decided he didn’t wish to hide us anymore. I disagreed, and we got into a huge fight out in the middle of a storm. I said some awful things I wish I had the chance to take back, and he ran off onto the road and into oncoming traffic.”

His voice had gotten so small, he wasn’t quite sure if the blonde was able to hear him now.

“When I got there, I knew I’d lost him. There was blood everywhere and he was just… there. He spent nearly a day at the hospital doing surgery after surgery. They really did try to save him, but there’s just no way you can bring to life someone who’s brain dead. I saw his mother for the second time in our life-long friendship that day. She barely shed a tear.”

JianYi had gotten his story, it had unfolded the way he suspected it would, yet he still found himself speechless in front of the other, feeling all sorts of mixed emotions welling up within him, but he was unable to find the right words in which to convey them. He took one last look at the very last photograph of the album in his hands, of a happy blonde planting a kiss upon the cheek of a wide eyed brunette, then he closed the cover and handed it over.

“I’ll understand if you wish to leave here after today.”

Zhan ZhengXi took the album and placed it gingerly back to the bottom of the box before he continued the ritual of burying it all over again. 

“I’m not leaving.”

It wasn’t what he was expecting JianYi would say, and it surprised him.

“You’re not?”

“No of course not. I mean, sure, right now I have no place else to go, but even if I did, I still wouldn’t leave. I want to stay, because I like you… I mean, I like you as a person and your story doesn’t change my opinion of you and, and, and… please don’t kick me out?”

Overcome with the urge to kiss the rambling blonde, Zhan ZhengXi reached out to grab him before pulling him in, though right at the very last moment sheer reasoning got the better of him and he chose instead to bury his face in the crook of JianYi’s neck and settled for a hug.

“I know you’re not him, but right now, please just indulge me for a minute.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dream sequence inspired my title.


	6. Chapter 6 - SIX DAYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if it'll be a trigger, but someone intentionally cuts himself in this chapter. (it's not actual self-harm)

They used to play ball all the time, the four of them after school aiming a worn out ball into a net-less hoop until the street lights turned themselves on. So long as the four of them had no other plans, be it rain or shine, they'd waste their afternoons trying to out score everyone else. There was no other meaning to it besides the need to waste time, and perhaps on a deeper level, the need to bond. Now there was just the two of them, shut away in an indoor court nestled within the condo building that HeTian made his home in. 

ZhengXi wasn't exactly interested in basketball when his friend called and ask to meet up for a game, but he showed up anyway, recognising that it was just an excuse to get together to talk, although they didn't do much talking at all once they started, with only the rhythmic bouncing of an orange ball to break their ritualistic silence.

After they have had enough, HeTian volunteered to go get a drink from a nearby vending machine while ZhengXi spend the interim laid down on the floor of the court to regain his breath. Unlike his taller friend, he haven't had the spare time to hit the gym like he used to, and along with his slight weight gain and that layer of body fat, his stamina had suffered a loss as well.

"You told him yet?"

HeTian returned with a bottle of ice cold mineral water, holding it over his friend's face just long enough for some sort of recognition that it was hovering directly above before releasing his grip on the bottle, bursting into hysterical laughter when the brunette erupted in a string of curses, although he clearly did not get his face smashed in with plastic.

"Oh come on, don't be such a baby, the thing didn't even touch your pretty face. Now answer the question, have you told him yet?"

"Told who what arsehole?"

Somehow he should've expected it, after all these years, HeTian had not discarded his childish habit of playing petty pranks.

"You know what I'm talking about Xi, quit stalling and spill."

Just for the sake of stalling and causing undue irritation, he kept his mouth shut while he wrung the bottle open and took a long swig of water, a satisfied sigh leaving his mouth as the only sign of appreciation before he replaced the cap, eyeing it thoughtfully as he sat it down in front of himself.

"If you must know, I told him everything that mattered to his situation."

"And yet he's still sticking around. Are you sure you told him everything?"

"Yes."

"Everything?"

"Oh for fuck's sake Tian, I told him okay?! He knows who JianYi was, knows what he meant to me, and he fucking knows he was my fucking boyfriend alright? So fuck off before I really punch you in your fucking face!"

HeTian was the only one capable of getting under his skin to lose his temper so carelessly, and he hated himself for it. He took the bottle once more, drained it empty and began to stand up to leave. HeTian watched him go, then got up himself to follow, knowing full well that his friend wasn't genuinely angry (He had only seen ZhengXi truly angry with him just once in their years of friendship, and HeTian had come away with that experience with bruised ribs and a concussion to remember it by.)

"And yet he's still around."

"You already said that, and where's he gonna go anyway? He's got no money, and he's got no one."

"Then send him to me.”

“That’s akin to sending a lamb off to slaughter, why the fuck would I do that?”

They entered the lift that brought both men to HeTian’s penthouse apartment, ZhengXi letting himself in like he belonged there. He had made it a habit to shower and grab a beer every time he came over to play a game with his friend, and whomever else was free enough to drop by a join them, and he walked in now like he owned the place and planted himself down on the sofa with his feet on the coffee table.

“I have three bedrooms, of which I really only use one. You have to admit that that alone trumps whatever accommodation you can provide him. And you can finally stop sleeping on your crappy sofa.”

“Like you would know.”

“Oh please, we both know it’s beneath you to let your guest sleep on the sofa, no matter who that is, and I’m willing to bet money that he already offered to share your bed and you flat out refused him because you don’t trust yourself around him.”

The fridge door opened as he ended his matter-of-factly statement, and he pulled two beers from within, this time choosing not to attempt to shock his friend by throwing it at his face, to which ZhengXi was entirely grateful for.

“He may not exactly have the same personality and behaviours but he has the same face and name. And I don’t usually do shit like give advice, but trust me when I tell you, that you will end up treating him like he’s our JianYi and thinking that you’ve been given a second chance, and that’s assuming you haven’t already done that.”

“Wow. You’re awfully chatty today.”

It was a weak retaliation to the rare lecture he was being given, so after that Zhan ZhengXi decided to just crack open his beer and drain it while he gave the other the opportunity to drone on, should he choose to.

“He seems rather fond of you Ah Xi. Two weeks he’s been at my company and he tries to leech information about you from me when he gets the chance. It would be a shame for you to be treating him as a replacement if he really is interested in you.”

“For the record, I’m not interested in anything other than pure friendship with him, so stop it with the assumptions and stop giving me unsolicited advice, and stop thinking that I’m going to fuck things up, that I’m trying to fix history or whatever the hell it is you think I’m trying to do, and that it will turn sour with disappointments.”

Zhan ZhengXi emptied his can and crushed it to relief the annoyance he could feel building up within himself. 

“And you know what? I think it’s fucking sad that none of you seem to have any faith in me.”

He left the crushed empty can on the coffee table and stood up, although instead of just storming out of the condo all melodramatic like, he chose to be the bigger man and opted to grab the gym bag he had stored away before they went down to the basketball court, and headed straight to the bathroom to grab a quick shower and change, leaving his old friend behind to wait to continue their conversation.

“I take it that ZiQian isn’t too excited about your little adoption plan?”

HeTian spoke as soon as Zhan ZhengXi stepped out of the bathroom all freshened up and smelling of his own expensive soaps, his eyes never once leaving the television he had turned on while he waited, still changing channels every few seconds, even if he wasn’t intensionally finding a programme to watch.

“JianYi isn’t a cat. And no, she hates that I took him in, but on the up side, she has stopped showing up unannounced at my place, so it’s a win win.”

He grabbed another set of beer from the fridge before settling down beside his friend and grabbing the remote from him so he could switch to a news channel and give the set top box a break from the relentless channel surfing he knew HeTian was doing as a habit.

“Mo’s coming back to Beijing in about a week or so.”

“Good, I was starting to forget what he looked like.”

HeTian snorted at the response, then took the beer that the brunette had handed to him earlier and set it down on the table still sealed.

“Let’s gather here, you can bring JianYi, and we can enjoy ourselves watching GuanShan freak the hell out and maybe piss his pants?”

A raised brow as Zhan ZhengXi considered the proposal, then smiled and nodded as he opened his second can of beer and drank deep before releasing a burp so loud that he surprised even himself.

“I can probably convince JianYi to play the part, and we can pretend we don’t see JianYi at all, and that would freak him out even more.”

"Sounds like a plan."

HeTian held back whatever else he had wanted to tell his friend, knowing that he had already said enough about his situation with JianYi without needing to drive home the point, hoping that ZhengXi will do the sensible thing to distance himself from the boy.

 

JianYi paced slow circles around the coffee table, his shin grazing the edge of the polished wood with the occasional audible thud but he didn’t exactly notice. 

“So what you’re telling me Emily, is that they’ve resorted to tracking my Grain?”

“Affirmative. My systems detected a potential breach to your Grain chip's security system. A trace back to the source indicate an attempt to hack onto the chip’s signal, possibly to gain access to the location tracker function.”

“Son of a... they can do that? Even though I'm all the way here in the freaking stone age? Can you deactivate it?”

"Negative. The restrictions placed within my software does not grant me permission to meddle with government issued Grains."

He could think of a certain silver haired snake who would have the ability to bypass any sort of security system, however he was not available to help out now, plus he wouldn't even think of owing someone like that any favours, no matter how small.

"If it's embedded in my right hand, then all I gotta do is to dig it out and smash it."

"It appears that would be the best way to guarantee against a successful hack. However, having it reinstated would result in a possible jail term for illegally tampering with the Grain."

He continued pacing circles for the lack of anything else to do while he bounced his thoughts against his AI companion, trying to come up with a comfortable solution that didn't involve attempting to open up his right hand to gouge out what was essentially proof of his identity in a future where he belonged. 

For some time now he's had that sinking feeling that his grandfather did not make it out of their predicament alive, or he would have long since made an appearance to take him back home. JianYi had been here for over a month, and with each day that came and went, he could feel his hope ebbing away like the tide so that he was starting to entertain thoughts of how he should go about settling himself permanently into what was clearly starting to look like his new home.

"Let's say I dig it out."

He traced his finger over the slightly raised bump under the skin on the back of his hand between his finger and thumb. It was the only indication that there was something there at all.

"I'm right handed, so how am I suppose to do that without screwing my hand up?"

"Very carefully I'd expect."

"Thank you Emily, but that was not the answer I was looking for."

He stopped pacing then and set off to purchase the materials he would need to remove the now offending chip before his courage had the chance to fizzle out. By the time he got back he realised that he had taken too long, and that Zhan ZhengXi was in danger of returning home at any moment. Still, he decided to take the risk, if the latter were to show up in the middle of his mini operation, then he would just have to come up with an excuse. (JianYi had at this point already determined never to reveal the fact that he came from the future, for fear that it would leave lasting repercussions.)

First he swallowed more than the recommended dose of painkillers in the hopes that it would dull the pain enough when he cut himself open, then he cleared the dining table and shifted a reading lamp over for more light while waiting for the little white pills to take effect. Setting everything he bought on the table as he took a seat, he lined them up neatly, then started to hesitate. 

"Emily could you do a scan and present the exact location of the chip for me?"

In less than a minute, a fraction of the time it takes to do an MRI, a hologram of his right hand presented itself in a slow rotation to offer an all round view which included the blood vessels surrounding the chip the size of a grain of rice. He then waited for a minute more, pretending to study the image when all he was trying to accomplish was to waste time he did not have.

"Okay let's do this! Outline the point of incision and do an overlay."

He used the time to disinfect everything he was going to use, using rubbing alcohol over his skin as the hologram layered itself over his real right hand, made into a fist upon the tabletop. The resistance that he felt as the tip of the blade poked into his skin told him that the pills did little to numb any pain, so he took a deep breath and doubled the strength into the blade, trying to hold his left hand steady while waiting for the blade to break skin. He managed to bite back a cry as soon as it happened, flinching slightly as the blood started to ooze its way out. 

"Shit, what if I'll need stitches?"

Almost as an after thought, he chose to keep his cut as small as possible, the initial sharp pain morphing into a constant numbing presence as he forced himself to continue cutting away at his flesh despite all instincts to stop. Blood was starting to drip and pool over the surface of the table top when he finally placed the blade down. With another deep breath, his hand already shaking from the constant assault on his pain receptors, he manipulated his hand to try and squeeze it out.

He watched the polished titanium fall into the pool of crimson, relieved to have it out of his body, and then he tensed once more when a hand seemingly appeared out of nowhere to clamp around his wrist. Head jerking to his side to find Zhan ZhengXi's panic stricken face towering over him, his mind went blank and the blonde could only watch on dumbfounded.

"What have you done?!"

The brunette's question was urgent, seeing that much blood poured over his friend's hand and down his arm, a bloodied knife set aside on the table, the man could only come to one reasonable conclusion. He fought back that sickening surge of anxiety, pulling the wrist he had captured towards himself and gingerly wiped away the coating of blood down the inside of JianYi's forearm where there was just pale, smooth and flawlessly unbroken skin for him to find. He frowned, turned the hand to study the self inflicted wound, then proceeded to pull the blonde forcefully into his arms and embraced him tight, not a care that he was smearing blood wherever he touched.

"...ZhengXi?"

JianYi hesitated, but ultimately chose to say nothing else, letting his hands cling onto the back of the other’s shirt, confusion now setting in while he had forgotten just how much his hand had hurt prior to this, his heart thumping away in his chest all nervous and convinced that it could be felt by not just himself in such close proximity. A minute had passed before Zhan ZhengXi could bear to pull away, feeling somewhat encouraged that his friend did not opt to push him off.

“Come.”

Avoiding eye contact for the moment, the brunette led the blonde over to the kitchen sink to clean up, ever so carefully washing the red away, a furrow creasing his brows in concentration until he was satisfied with the result.

“The cut isn’t deep, I doubt it will require stitches.”

He said nothing more while he disinfected and dressed the wound, but after he was done he did not let go of that injured hand. Instead he looked up and stared hard at JianYi just like how a disapproving parent would to a child who had done something terrible it shouldn’t have.

“Explain yourself.”

And indeed JianYi felt just like a little child, small and vulnerable under the other’s watchful eyes. He didn’t want to tell the truth, but he felt as though he couldn’t possibly bring himself to make up a lie.

“I… I can’t.”

“You can’t? Or you won’t?”

“I don’t want to have to lie to you ZhengXi.”

“Then at least tell me what you think you can, please.”

A long silence followed, though not the sort which they were comfortable with, that neither of the two wished to be the one to break, afraid of what arguments and rifts their next string of words might cost them. Still, JianYi eventually relented, moving to pick up the titanium Grain chip from the pool of drying blood and placing it within the palm of his room mate's hand. 

"This was implanted in my hand a long time ago, it works in a similar way as an RFID chip in your passport and credit card, or that microchip thing you use to tag pet dogs? So, it contains probably an amazing amount of information that belongs to me."

The tiny piece of metal was eyed with much suspicion before being replaced on the table, this time at a clean spot.

"I've been implicated in... something, and as a result, people are trying to find me. That tiny thing gives them a sure way to track me down, eventually, so I had to take it out and destroy it. I didn't plan on you walking in while I was doing it. I'm sorry if I've upset you."

"So smashing this thing would essentially help keep you safe."

"I'm counting on it, but even if they manage to find me, I'll make sure you and your friends will never be harmed."

Zhan ZhengXi immediately took up the hammer already laid out beforehand and smashed the thing to bits in a few smooth, hard motions of his arm, ignoring the fact that he was damaging his table in the process. 

"Will this do?"

JianYi could only stare away in awe of what the other had done without so much as a bit of hesitation. He was expecting a bombardment of questions, and not this calm and collected acceptance of facts. 

"I should put that in acid for good measure but, thank you, that will do."

"Good."

As soon as that was said, Zhan ZhengXi stood up, turned his back on JianYi and abruptly walked away, needing to put some distance between them after what he had done, HeTian's words to him from before hanging over him like a reminder. And of course JianYi wouldn't have understood that, so he followed behind like a lost puppy.

"You're angry?”

"No, but after what you just did, I should be. I consider you a friend JianYi, and while I don't know what kind of trouble you're in, you could've relied on me."

He paused, knowing this was as good a time as any to bring up the subject he'd been pouring his thoughts over since he had left his friend's condo.

"Listen, I've been talking to HeTian about you moving out of here and into his condo. He’s got extra bedrooms so you can have a bit of privacy when you need it, plus it’s much closer to where you work so that would maybe cut your commute in half. And perhaps you could grab a ride with Tian if your work schedules match up. I haven’t talked to him about rent, but I figured he’s willing to let you on rent free? I mean he can definitely afford to—”

“You’re kicking me out? But I… What happened to letting me stay until I’m ready to leave? You’ve changed your mind? You don’t want me here anymore?”

The hurtful expression in JianYi’s eyes were undeniably crushing for Zhan ZhengXi to witness, and he suddenly wished he hadn’t said anything at all, that he could reverse the time, or simply swallow back his words like they never left his lips.

“Was it something I did, or didn’t do?”

“No I…”

Suddenly all vocabulary escaped him, he didn’t know how to explain it to the blonde that he didn’t even mean what he said. It was all HeTian’s idea, but he was the one to voluntarily bring it up so he couldn’t even blame his friend for this.

“Why would you tell me I could stay when you were just going to change your mind at the end? I trusted you.”

“Wait, that’s not…”

The blonde did not allow him the time to explain himself, even if at this point in their conversation, it was sounding more and more like excuses to soften the blow.

“But since I owe you my life, I’ll go. If that’s what you want me to do, I’ll leave.”

Zhan ZhengXi could not remember the last time a conversation had gotten so far away from him, he had to run full speed ahead just to chase after the tail end of it. 

“Will you just shut up for a second and listen?!”

Then as if he regretted his outburst in an instant, the brunette palmed his hands over his face in an attempt to prevent himself from bursting at the seams with frustration with himself and JianYi, and just everything that had accumulated over the past few weeks. He grabbed hold of the blonde by the crook of his arm and forcefully dragged him away to the sofa and sat him down while he himself chose to stand right in front of him, hands on his hips as he towered over the other.

It was then that it hit him, that the last time he had gotten this frustrated at someone whilst talking was with none other than JianYi. Not the one sitting before him, but the one that he had spent so much of his boyhood days goofing around with. And he had to take a deep breath then just to push those thoughts away.

“HeTian wants you to leave.”

He put a hand out to stall whatever words were about to come out from the blonde’s lips to interrupt him, and he continued, without ever missing a beat.

“And before you start having shitty opinions about him, he's doing it for my sake, and I’m inclined to listen to him because he is my friend, and has been for over half my life now. He tells me that you are much too similar to our old friend, that I am in danger of treating you like a replacement and he is not wrong, so it might be best to put some distance between us.”

JianYi cocked his head to one side and inclined it so he was peeking up through his blonde locks falling over his face, his expression unreadable while he contemplated the words.

"He wants me to leave? Is that what you want? You, and not because your friend whispered a convincing little tale in your ear."

When he didn't receive an answer to his questions he stood up, forcing the other to back away in a bid to keep some personal space.

"Well?"

"I don’t want you to leave."

"Certainly you're asking me to."

"It's complicated alright?"

He stepped himself closer, glancing up at the taller of the two.

"Complicated? What the hell's so complicated? You want me to stay and also you want me to leave, that’s because you don't understand what it is you want for yourself."

"Hey, that's not fair."

"No, but at least I know what I want, unlike you."

He didn't know why he was trying his best to pick a fight with Zhan ZhengXi, but there was no doubt that he felt embittered by him. The brunette allowed a bit of silence to fall between them, somehow aware that the blonde was simply trying to provoke him.

"Alright, won't you enlighten me then? What do you want?”

“You.”

JianYi had answered the question without a moment’s hesitation, but after that initial burst of courage, when he had had that second later to realise what his lips have done, he found his own eyes widening by just a fraction as a slight heat threatened to rise into his cheeks.

“I wish to stay, right here, with you. It doesn't matter to me if you think of me as a replacement for your lost friend. I'll even play the role, so long I get to be here.”

"Do you even understand what you just said?"

Such a question was met with silence for an answer, JianYi lowered his head and then as if he was drained of his energy, he collapsed back down on the sofa behind him.

"Make of it what you will. Whether I leave or stay, that's entirely up to you, I'll do whatever you want me to, and for what it’s worth, I am willing to tell you anything, always have, you only needed to ask. However, I'm grateful you haven’t done that, because then I don't have to worry about what sort of consequences you'd have to face, knowing what I know."

Zhan ZhengXi sat himself beside the other after a beat, though consciously or not, he placed a spaced distance between them, suddenly afraid to make physical contact between them.

“You don’t have to tell me anything, I won’t ask unless I have to. You don’t have to take _his_ place, it may have been the only reason why I chose to help you, but you’re you, and I want you to be you. Do you understand?”

JianYi nodded his understanding, but said little else.

“Stay JianYi, tonight, tomorrow, or however long you need. I meant what I said before and I still do now. I’m truly sorry if I hurt you in any way. Will you forgive me?”

JianYi glanced over sideways and gave his best million dollar smile.

“I’d be a fool not to."


	7. Chapter 7 - SEVEN DAYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated mature.

SheLi slammed shut the lid of the laptop that was on his desk, vexed that he was getting no where when it came to locating the one person he knew would get that old man Li to talk. The silver haired snake was impressed with JianYi, that the latter had enough foresight to take measures to keep his personal device untraceable, regretting now that he had once foolishly helped to beef up the device’s security and intelligence software when the blonde had first come to him for help with its configuration after spending a load of currency acquiring it. Of course, he knew now that such acts of kindness was wasted on a boy such as JianYi, who had kept on rejecting his advances time and again.

“Fuck… fuck… FUCK!!!”

At his wit’s end, he picked up the machine, thinking it to be utterly useless as he hurled the metal into a wall. Still unsatisfied, he rose from his seat, picking up the dumbbell he kept under his chair before he strode himself over to the damaged wall, crouched down low, and then started to bash the unit in with all his might, using this as an excuse to vent his frustrations and spent away all his pent up energy from being cooped up all day in front of his computer, trying in such vain to locate JianYi, feeling satisfied only when the object no longer resembled what it should have looked like.

“That’s the second one you’ve done in now, can you not?”

“Shut the fuck up Primo, I don’t recall ever asking your opinion.”

He shot daggers and hurled the dumbbell at his interruption and watched as the weight went harmlessly right through the hologram image of his AI companion, denting itself on the wall that stopped its progress through the air. Primo stuck its tongue out and then smiled, annoying SheLi further. He had customised his companion’s projected image to be that of a twelve year old boy, with blonde hair and doe-like grey eyes, he bore the uncanny resemblance of JianYi as he was the day SheLi first met him at the academy. JianYi had willingly sat himself next to him and asked why he was all alone, and SheLi’s heart had fluttered away to be captured by the blonde till this very day.

“Well in that case, you have a meeting due in an hour at the federation, should I reschedule?”

“No, keep it, I ought to pay a visit to the prisoner anyway.”

He had hoped that he would have information of which he could use as leverage against this prisoner by now, instead the only thing he had in his arsenal was sheer brute force.

“You have an incoming call from your father.”

SheLi said nothing, nor did he do anything, prompting Primo to present the hologram image of its master’s father, connecting the call.

“Is it done?”

“No Father, or I would have called.”

He picked up the remains of his laptop off the floor, then moved to chuck it into a bin in his closet with all the other devices he had managed to destroy over the course of the year.

“Give me more time, I need more time.”

“I’ve given you more than enough, allowed you to gallivant with these rats in their little circus because you promised me results. Shall I remind you of what happens to those who fail me?”

Yellow eyes moved to stare at the image of his father, the sudden urge to wrap his own hands around that thin, frail neck to squeeze the breath out of him was so strong, he was glad that the person standing before him wasn’t a real, warm body with a beating heart, despite what the general public might think. 

“Oh don’t you worry, I wouldn’t dare disappoint you, that’s my step brother’s job isn’t it?”

An innocuous smile, one he had perfected ages ago, a hand gesture, subtle enough to not be noticed until it had happened, and the hologram projection of his father disappeared, the call cut off before the caller had the chance to form a reply.

“Primo, block his calls for the day, and prepare the transport, we’re going to see the prisoner and watch him dance.”

\---

A hundred years into the future, LiMing was the world’s most underrated, most unappreciated, most unimpressive scientist and inventor of his time. Now at a ripe old age, he was better known as Grandpa Li, Old Man Li, or to some others, simply Crazy Li. He had gone through most of his life without eliciting attention from the authorities or people of importance, always skirting the law but never actually doing enough to let anything stick. This time however, he had run out of luck. He had fucked up too, dragging his one and only grandson in through the sticky mud with him. His beloved daughter would never forgive him. That is, if he had the chance to see his daughter ever again.

Stuck in a federal prison cell on a floating platform miles high up in the sky, he had counted his days, and then lost count of the times he had gotten his days mixed up, which was a testament to just how long he had been stuck behind this glass box, long enough and wide enough to keep him contained, but hardly any space to properly stretch his limbs. His only visitors were his guards, who spoke not a word to him no matter how much he pleaded with them. One night guard was kind enough to bring him reading material, but he never got to see him again after that, guessing he must have gotten into trouble by breaching some don’t-give-Li-any-books protocol.

He felt like he had let JianYi down, just as he had once felt like he had let his daughter down for allowing her to fend for herself in a loveless, abusive marriage. But it had to be done. His sweet little grandchild would never know the value of the secret he had been given to safeguard, his sweet little JianYi wouldn’t even realise the danger he had put him in.

He had tried to convince himself it was better this way, if JianYi had managed to escape into history and become a part of it, then he could be safe for an indefinite amount of time. Forever perhaps? Maybe so.

Spotlights brightened up his little prison box, the frosted glass clearing up as soon as a figure came and stood himself before it. His very first and only real visitor, yet it left him feeling utterly disappointed with the world.

“So it was you who put me in this box? I can’t say I’m surprised at all by what you’ve done, SheLi.”

The snake came within an inch of the glass, wanting a closer look, yet refusing to actually touch anything. Yellow eyes darting about studying his prey, as though contemplating his next actions, his next words, his next display of emotion. He was never really ever fond of Crazy Li, he tolerated him at best for the sake of JianYi, but never anything more. He decided on a subtle smile, always good to keep up the illusion of cheerfulness.

“It couldn’t be helped Old Li, the federation kept raiding our home base, someone would have given you up eventually, better me than say… XiaoHui?”

The girl’s name was a underhanded stab at the old man’s heart. She was an orphan girl of the clan whom the old man took an initial interest enough to take her under his wing, after which she became just like a granddaughter he had never had, always bickering with his real grandson. At the mention of her name, he did nothing more than frown.

SheLi was almost disappointed that the other had not taken his bait, he wanted more of reaction from LiMing, so he dropped his fake smile to show his displeasure.

“JianYi. Where have you hidden him?”

And there the snake had decided to show his hand on the get go.

“I don’t know.”

And the old man was telling the truth. He had pushed the modified portal gun into the boy’s hands and told him to run away and hide with no other instructions, trusting that he would be smart enough to keep himself on the go, until the portal trail was so long that tracking him down would be a problem. Although he hadn’t planned on getting himself arrested.

“But you know how to find him.”

That much was also true. So long as the gun was in the boy’s hands, finding him would be easy. He had also put in place fail safes for just in case JianYi should be unfortunate enough to lose the device.

“I know you won’t tell me, I also know you’ve sent JianYi away with the key.”

“You’re a smart one aren’t you? It’s a pity you’re working for big brother.”

“Please know that I am trying to help you Grandpa Li, you give me the information they want, and you get to save yourself a lot of unnecessary pain.”

“Tell me boy, if you too had the key to unlocking immortality, would you give it up? Besides, you and I both know they’ll never let me walk out of here alive.”

The silver haired youth heaved a sigh, trying his best not to roll his eyes in exasperation. 

“They’re going to torture you, you old git! I’m talking old school interrogation methods you thought went out with the ark. They’ll push you to within an inch of your life, and then, if your lips are sealed so tight you somehow managed not to spill? They’ll execute you anyway because they don’t need you alive to get the information they need from you, and with enough time, I can find JianYi and bring him back. Now do you really want him to return and discover your mutilated, torn up corpse? What about your daughter? Does she really need to witness your public execution?”

The old man stepped up to the glass, closing the distance between the two, but unlike the young man, LiMing placed both his palms firmly against the glass, the way little children did to animal enclosures when they visited the zoo.

“My daughter will be fine, she’s a strong woman. My grandson would understand, he’s smart. But you, I’ve watched you obsess over JianYi since the day you met him. How do you think he’ll react when he’s found out what you’ve done? And believe me, he will find out, he’s a clever one that boy.”

SheLi stared through the glass barrier for the longest time before snorted and shaking his head, admitting defeat.

“Then I’ll just have to keep him from knowing.” 

The snake shrugged a nonchalant shoulder, stuck his hands into his pockets, and took one big step backwards, motivated now more than ever to seek his prey.

“I’ll find him, I’ll bring him back, you know I will. There’s no use fighting this one gramps, they always get their way.”

He turned his back to the prisoner and started to walk away, lights automatically dimming along the corridor as he went.

“Goodbye Sir, it was a pleasure to have known you.”

\---

HeTian parked his luxury car and got out. With hair falling into his eyes, designer sunglasses covering most of his face, plus an expensive coat, he looked every bit the movie star that everybody thought he was. He pushed the unlit cigarette in between his lips and let it idly sit while he checked the time. He didn’t have long before the nosy security officers would come along and ask him to move his vehicle because the lots along the entrances were strictly for passenger pick ups or drop offs only.

He had done his homework, and timed his arrival perfectly. Not too early that he will have to keep driving around in circles to kill time, and not too late so that his intended passenger would have to wait. Any minute now he would expect a redhead with a semi-permanent scowl to stroll through those automatic doors, jet lagged from travel yet relieved to be home.

Any minute now.

He spent the next few maybe twenty minutes wishing he could light up his cigarette, watching strangers come in and out of the airport terminal, counting the cars and taxis and the occasional vans and lorries pull in and out like the ebbing tide. He could hear the soft humming engines of the planes that flew overhead, either coming in, or going out.

Seriously, any minute now, preferably the now.

He wasn’t a patient man, so irritation started to settle in the longer he stood there, feeling like an idiot and most definitely attracting unwanted attention.

“Hey, sorry I got held up at immigration trying to help this old Korean couple who didn’t speak a lick of Mandarin. Did you wait long?”

He stared at Mo GuanShan, trying to decide if he should be angry at his friend, or be impressed that he could still manage to be so helpful to a bunch of strangers, despite looking obviously tired as shit. He settled for something that was in between the two, and reached into his car to pop the trunk.

“I just got here.”

But the red head knew better, even if he said nothing as he dropped his luggage into the back of the car and got into the passenger side of it.

“Nice ride, what was wrong with the old one?”

He knew of HeTian’s obsession with chasing cars, and how he’d developed the incredible habit of changing them as often as people changed their shoes.

“Nothing wrong with the last one, but this one just’s got a bigger boot space, and a sun roof. How’s the flight?”

“We hit the mother load of turbulence, apparently the weather up there is always crap when I’m not the pilot.”

“Sorry to hear that. You need food?”

“I need sleep. I had food on the plane.”

HeTian smiled, like a forlorn puppy after waiting by the door for its owner to return from a long day at the office, happy to have his friend back into his life again, for now at least.

“That crap isn’t food Mo, no matter what you say.”

After getting out of the vicinity of the airport, he would turn the car about and do the scenic route, spending more time and petrol while being absolutely certain to avoid any heavy traffic or that annoying start-stop motion of having to stop for multiple red lights littering the countless city streets. The real reason of course was to allow Mo GuanShan a smooth, comfortable ride back to his place, perhaps even the opportunity to catch a quiet snooze along the way. He knew about the red head’s inability to fall asleep on board a plane, no matter the class of seats, no matter if he hadn’t slept in a week. Call it an occupational hazard if you will, but he understood the principle of it, much like how it was impossible for him to fall asleep in a car, either at the wheel, or simply as a passenger when he had the chance to be one.

Mo GuanShan didn’t plan on sleeping in the car, but as with such long journeys where the road was mostly straight with the same scene passing on over and over, and the traffic smooth as oil on water, he couldn’t help the heaviness of his eyelids falling shut, not even realising that he had fallen fast asleep until HeTian had pulled into the carpark of his condo, and the jerky motions of the speed bumps jarred him awake.

The apartment was just as he had remembered it to be, still sparsely furnished and uninviting for a home. He walked in, footsteps tentative before he stopped and turned towards HeTian, looking like he had something he really wanted to say but couldn’t quite decide on what words to use. Eventually he settled on saying something else, wanting to get something out before HeTian got suspicious. 

“I’m going to shower.”

HeTian raised a questioning brow at the other, but he knew better than to push it. And that was the basis of their nearly two decade long friendship, always waiting for Mo GuanShan, never insisting, never pushing, never attempting to try and get his way. A sharp contrast from when they first met, and he used to threaten and lie and cheat to get that redhead to do what he wanted him to. He knew now just how much those actions of his had cost him years later, when they first tried to be something more than friends.

He waited until he could hear the shower running before making his way into the guest room, setting the suitcase that he had helped carry up in one corner and then making a beeline towards the door of the bathroom. 

Mo GuanShan had purposefully left the door ajar, a clear invitation to HeTian, that he could come in and join him if he wanted to. And as he stood under the spray of the shower, hot water pouring down to wash away the weariness of travel, he spotted the door opening, and a familiar figure stepping in, already half undressed.

HeTian stood behind the closed door and watched as Mo GuanShan turned his back to him in the stall, probably trying to pretend that he hadn’t seen him come in. He watched the soap come off like waterfalls off the other’s back, toned muscles moving beneath the skin with every movement and he couldn’t help but to think dirty thoughts as his gaze landed quite naturally upon that fine ass.

He licked his lips, arousal pouring through him as he stripped off what remained of his clothes and stepped into the stall to join the alluring figure, attracting him like a magnet to steel. Mo GuanShan expected it, but he inhaled a sharp breath in a gasp just the same when that first electrifying touch of skin on skin happened, strong arms hands snaking to wrap around his torso while a big hand strayed down to cover itself about a hardening length of muscle. 

The redhead sighed, relaxing to the touch, one hand around the wrist that was expertly flicking to the stroking motions of that hand around his dripping cock, the other thrust out, palm out against the cool tiled wall to keep himself upright, even if he knew HeTian wouldn’t ever let him fall should his knees fail to keep him upright.

HeTian bit into the nook of the shorter man’s neck, teeth grazing though not hard enough to leave a lasting mark. The moans that elicited from the redhead’s throat was music to his ears, and only served to encourage him to continue his ministrations, the steady rhythm of his hand slowly building up the pressure of intense pleasure. He didn’t bother to tease, the goal this time was to get Mo GuanShan to relax enough to take a longer nap to rejuvenate himself from the weariness he could never quite shrug off these days. HeTian knew he had the time in the next few days to do a proper job of it, to coax and tease and torture until what was left would be that animalistic desire to beg to be savagely ruined amidst an intense, agonising pleasure only he knew how to provide.

The taller one understood that it was only a matter of time before Mo GuanShan would show his telltale signals that he was about ready to burst, and when it happened, he paused for just a second, just to hear that satisfying whimper that had the strange ability to morph into a lustful purr. A few more hard, shift strokes and the other was jello in his arms, white warm cum spurting into his hand and onto the floor, washed away almost immediately by the water still pouring from the shower.

He turned away from the wall to wrap his arms around the shoulders of his friend who had just finished jerking him off, still riding the waves of ecstasy, his muscles still spasming every now and again, his breathing erratic like he had just run a mile. When he was certain it was over, he peeled himself away, the exhaustion creeping back into his limb once again though this time, he knew that sleep would claim him as soon as his head hit the pillow.

“Do you…”

But HeTian did not give him a chance to finish, pushing the other away to untangle himself from the other.

“No, go get some sleep, I’ll be fine.”

So he watched as the redhead got out of the stall, wrapped himself in a towel, and left. Then he turned his attention back onto himself, wondering what he should do now. He reached down to touch himself, entertaining the thought of masturbating his hard on away while fantasising about fucking his friend into his sheets, but then he changed his mind and instead moved to turn the dial on his faucet in the opposite direction to its current position, closing his eyes and wincing, almost, when the temperature of the water beating down on him was akin to that of ice.


	8. Chapter 8 - EIGHT DAYS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You think JianYi’s running a human trafficking ring?”  
> “What? No!”  
> “You think he’s running a prostitution ring.”  
> “Of course not!”  
> “Then what? Spit it out ZhengXi, or I’m walking out of here.”

“So if he’s your friend, I don’t understand why I have to come along, aside from the fact that you just want me to scare the crap out of him because I look like an old mutual friend who’s suppose to be dead.”

JianYi shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket, bracing against the chilly winds that was penetrating through to the thin material. He’d always hated that time period between seasons, where you were either overdressed and hot as hell, or underdressed so that you’re constantly trying to find a way to stay warm. And right now he really wished he could grab onto Zhan ZhengXi and snuggle off some of that body heat off the brunette, but he had to settle for walking close to the other instead.

“What’s wrong with making a new friend? You could use the socialising you know?”

“Yeah but how are you going to explain me away after you’re done scaring the crap out of him?”

Zhan ZhengXi reached out and grabbed hold of JianYi’s arm, pulling him close to stop him from absentmindedly stepping off the curb at the red light.

“Could you please watch where you’re going? And let me worry about that, you just have to smile and be nice.”

The blonde smiled sarcastically (if that were possible) and said nothing else as he followed after the other, into a building and gratefully out of the wind. Into the lift they went, Zhan ZhengXi looking at JianYi suspiciously because that smile on his face just would not come off, but he did not question it, thinking that he might not like what would come out of those smiling lips. Out onto the penthouse floor they walked, the blonde now hoping that this Mo GuanShan guy had a good strong heart to withstand the petty prank. Some folks he realised, were extremely superstitious when it came to the afterlife.

Zhan ZhangXi rang the bell even though he knew the access combination code to the door. The plan was to have HeTian allow Mo GuanShan answer the door, and hopefully the sight of JianYi standing beside him would send the redhead into a panic. For the most part, everything had been executed according to plan, except that the one to panic wasn’t the intended participant. 

JianYi had taken a mere glimpse at the stock of red hair and the face that went with it when the door opened, and immediately felt goosebumps rising all over his skin. And as adrenaline kicked in, he felt his heart beating with such intensity he could hear it in his ears. There wasn’t time for explanations or excuses, as reflex took over and the blonde found himself turning his back and striding back the way he had come from, only to find that the lift doors had closed, and the carriage within was well on its way back to the ground floor. 

He tried searching for an emergency stairway, literally shoving the door open and was about to launch his way down the first flight of steps when he felt a hand grab hold of him by the crook of his elbow, yanking him backwards. He didn’t have time to think, as instinct took over and he turned, pivoting where he stood and brought a fist up with the sole purpose of punching whoever was preventing his escape in the face.

Thankfully Zhan ZhengXi had enough fast reflexes to avoid the attack, grabbing onto the thrown fist with his free hand, and then shifting its position to restrain the blonde by the wrist.

“JianYi! It’s me!”

The latter was panting, his eyes wild, and clearly he was having some kind of an anxiety attack, which concerned the brunette enough to loosen his grip, not wanting to agitate him further.

“It’s okay, I’m gonna let go now alright? Please don’t try to run away.”

—

 

“Someone was at the door? I heard it ring.”

Mo GuanShan turned his attention to HeTian as he emerged from the bathroom. Not wanting to hold the door open any longer, he released his grip and allowed the piece of wood to shut and lock after itself. Then he stepped away from the entrance, his face a mask of confusion over what had just happened.

“That was Zhan ZhengXi, and I think he brought a date? Looked awfully familiar, though I didn’t get a very good look because he turned his tail and ran off as soon as I opened the door. What do you think that was about?”

HeTian frowned, knowing there was no point to the prank anymore since it was ruined by the kid, and even if they did pull it off, well, the full effect of it would have been lost. So he sat himself down on the sofa and motioned for Mo GuanShan to do the same.

“Forget about that, it’s Ah Xi’s problem to solve, but I think I should tell you a bit about that kid he may or may not be bringing here today.”

—

 

“Could you explain to me what just happened back there?”

They were sat side by side at the top of the stairway, JianYi leaning his weight against the wall while Zhan ZhengXi tried not to appear too overbearing, forcing himself to face away from the other so as to give him some space.

“The guy who answered the door, who is he?”

“That’s Mo GuanShan, the guy you’re suppose to be scaring? Though as far as I can tell, he’s the one who spooked you.”

JianYi nodded in acknowledgement, then sighed and looked rather apologetically at his friend, because he knew he had pretty much ruined the fun, especially if this Mo GuanShan person had seen his face. And that was what he was trying to recall. There was no indication of recognition, but it could have easily been because he had turned away and walked off before his face was seen. And the guy looked so much like SheLi’s faithful buddy HongFa, that for a moment he was absolutely certain that he had been found, and they were here to capture him and take him back.

“Are you absolutely sure that’s him?”

“JianYi, what’s going on?”

He could see doubt written all over the blonde’s face, but he couldn’t tell what was going on in that head of his. He could see that the blonde was reluctant to talk about it, which clued him in that it had something to do with that secretive part of himself he always had difficulty revealing any details about.

“I've told you before that there are people looking for me.”

It was almost painful for Zhan ZhengXi to watch JianYi struggle between wishing he could spill every secret he had buried inside of him, and wanting to keep everything in because he felt that he needed to guard himself against imagined enemies.

“Your friend, he looks exactly like someone I know who work for these people.”

“Well I can assure you that he’s not. Mo is one of the kindest, most generous person I’ve ever met, and he would never be caught dead working for shady people, whoever they are.”

He reached over and tentatively took hold of JianYi’s hand, fingertips caressing gingerly over the keloid scar that had formed over the spot where he had taken a knife into previously.

“You’re safe now, here with me, with Tian, with Mo even. We’ll keep you safe so you never have to look over your shoulder like that again.”

JianYi smiled, thinking it was sweet of the other to try and be so positively optimistic, so he swallowed the negative words he had in response to hearing such a statement and said nothing in return to crap on the moment.

“Sorry I ruined your fun.”

“Don’t. You have nothing to apologise for.”

JianYi nodded meekly, then looked away, feeling an awkward silence come bearing down between them now that his panicked anxiety was gone and he had some time to think over what had just transpired in the stead of what was suppose to have been shits and giggles to start off an evening of fun. Zhan ZhengXi seemed to pick up on that mood and hoping to prevent the other from putting any sort of blame onto himself, he stood up, and offered the blonde a hand to get back onto his feet as well.

“Come on, we’ll go home if you don’t wish to stay.”

“No.”

JianYi grabbed onto the hand, pulled himself up to stand, and frowned disapprovingly, as though Zhan ZhengXi had done something terribly wrong.

“You came all this way to see a friend who you don't get to see very often, so we’re not going home until we do that.”

—

 

"I get why you're worried about him, but I'm not going to be your advocate."

"Why the hell not? Don't you consider him your friend?"

Mo GuanShan lazed back against the one seater sofa, one foot propped up against the matching ottoman while the other stayed on the floor, red eyes staring at HeTian like some lazy cat watching the world pass on by while it basked in the sun. He had spent the last few minutes listening and playing catch up to the events that happened while he was away flying the skies.

"Yes, but he is an adult and he gets to make his own decisions. Like who he allows into his home, or who he chooses to get involved with. You don't even know if they're an item, or even if they're going to end up together. Have you asked ZhengXi? Or did you just assume that because the kid looks like his dead boyfriend that he's going to drag him into bed with him?"

HeTian didn't get to retaliate against the accusation thrown at him because he heard his door unlock and a second later their subject of conversation popped his head in with a rather sheepish smile on his face.

"Heeeeeeeeeey. Sorry about earlier."

He looked at HeTian with a silent question on his quirked up brow and waited expectantly for a reply.

"He knows, I told him."

"Oh Good."

Zhan ZhengXi pushed the door wide open then and started toeing off his shoes, urging the blonde stood behind him to come in and do the same. Mo GuanShan got off from his position on the sofa then and smiled, seemingly impressed by what he saw.

"Hello JianYi, I'm Mo GuanShan."

Armed with the prejudice of previous hostile encounters with HongFa, JianYi hadn't really expected the friendly behaviour, and was a little taken aback, but he took the hand that was offered to him anyway and shook it, forcing a smile onto his face so he didn't look like such a jerk.

"Dinner is cooked and ready to serve so I hope everyone's hungry."

—

 

Dinner was uneventful, and it was over before everyone had finished all the food. Mo GuanShan always made extra when he cooked for a group, he did it so seldom that he simply did not bother to find out what the right amount of ingredients were for anything more than a two person meal. The leftovers were shoved into plastic food containers and popped into the fridge, and they would probably be left there to sit until they were well passed the expiry date, and it was no longer an issue of food wastage to throw them all out.

Beer bottles were passed around, and the gaming consoles were pulled out to be set up so they could all play childish titles like Mario kart. Eventually JianYi felt like he needed some fresh air, so he left the group where they sat to wander off onto the spacious balcony with the heavy glass door that cuts off all the sound when you shut it tight. And that was what he did, and the silence of the evening that greeted him was welcoming.

The lounge chair provided the perfect perch to watch the moon rise over the horizon, and the scenery gave him a backdrop on which to think. It wasn't long before he heard the glass door slide itself open, and someone else stepped onto the balcony to join him. He had expected it to be Zhan ZhengXi, but he managed to hide his surprise well enough when he realised it was Mo GuanShan who had come out with a bottle of freshly opened beer in his hand, the contents of it still bubbling against the glass. 

"Do you need a top up?"

JianYi eyed the beer bottle, then quickly shook his head, raising his own half drunk bottle and giving it a swirl, indicating he still had some ways to go before he needed it replaced. The red head set the beer down on the low table and leaned over the parapet to catch a glimpse of the ground below. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a box of cigarettes, opening it to offer one to JianYi to see if he wanted a smoke also, to which the blonde shook his head again to decline.

“You don’t smoke?”

A curious glance from the red head, another shake of the head from the blonde, this time with an added embarrassed smile from his lips.

“Then would you mind if I do?”

He received another shake of the head and Mo GuanShan wanted to laugh out loud for some reason, and he turned his head away so that he wouldn’t, pushing a cancer stick between his lips and then reaching once again into his pocket for a lighter. The device was a cheap dollar shop purchase, so sometimes it refused to work. And this time when it didn’t manage to produce a flame after the forth attempt at doing so, he took it as a sign and put everything back, stuffing the stick back into the box and into his pocket, though he decided to leave the lighter on top of the parapet. Maybe that might motivate him to go buy another to replace it. He took the only empty lounge chair right beside JianYi, sucked a long swig of beer down his throat and heaved a sigh before turning his sights on the boy.

“You don’t talk much? Or do I make you feel uncomfortable?”

“No I… Sorry, I just…”

JianYi frowned, and Mo GuanShan laughed.

“I’m just messing with you.”

The red head thought the blonde looked like someone who didn’t know what to do with himself, and he thought back to the times in the beginning of his weird friendship with Zhan ZhengXi and the rest of that particular group and he wondered if the blonde was going through the same thing he did.

“Listen, despite how I look, I don’t bite. I just wanna talk. That okay with you?”

A nod this time, a smile filled with uncertainty, and then JianYi overturned his bottle, drained half of what was still left inside the glass, and then repositioned himself on the chair, turning to sit facing the red head before pulling his knees up to himself to get comfortable.

“I can do that.”

Mo GuanShan took a quick glance back to the door to make sure he had shut it tight, noticing at the same time that Zhan ZhengXi and HeTian had stopped playing their game, and they were on their way into the direction of the bedrooms.

“Alright, quick question so we can get that out of the way. How old are you?”

The first time he had been asked that question, he had the urge to admit that technically he hadn’t yet been born, that he was some minus hundred years old, and it would have been funny (to him anyway) except that he would have to explain himself and he couldn’t do that, which he had thought was quite a shame.

“Twenty three.”

“Shit, Then I’m a whole decade older?”

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing."

—

 

Zhan ZhengXi had taken notice the minute JianYi stood up from his position on the sofa. Although he pretended to still be engrossed with the game on the screen, he was keeping tabs on just where the blonde was wandering off to. When he ended up on the balcony and didn’t show any signs of returning, the brunette reached across to snatch the controller from his pilot friend, and shoved it into the hands of his businessman friend.

“Hey Mo, will you do me a favour and go talk to JianYi?”

Mo GuanShan stared at his suddenly very empty hands and frowned.

“You want me to go talk to your boyfriend?”

“Uh… first of all, not my boyfriend, second of all, I’m gonna borrow _your_ boyfriend after this round is over, so this is just me being courteous and giving you something to occupy yourself with while we’re busy.”

He looked at HeTian, who did nothing but shrug, then he rolled his eyes and sighed, reluctantly pulling himself upright, making his way over to the fridge for a fresh bottle of beer before walking over to the balcony.

“So what’s this all about?”

HeTian could already guess what the subject of conversation was about if Zhan ZhengXi wanted to talk to him and alone at that. He kept his eyes to the screen, not really sure he wanted to have a private conversation with his friend. The brunette kept his mouth shut and his attention on the television until the round they were playing was over and he had been declared the overall winner, which wasn’t really much of a feat considering how he was the only one who was playing with any seriousness at all. He sat the controller down and stood, gesturing for HeTian to follow him as he made his way over to where the bedrooms were and chose the one room he thought was the furthest in proximity to the balcony.

“Oi, why are we in here?”

“Sorry Tian, can’t risk JianYi over hearing this.”

He checked to make sure the two men were deeply occupied in conversation and shut away at the balcony before shutting the door, and locking it for good measure.

“Overhearing what? You’re up to something again aren’t you?”

He sighed in annoyance as he was grabbed by the arm and forcefully moved deeper into the bedroom. Whatever Zhan ZhengXi had to be so paranoid about better be something good.

“Okay, this is just a theory of mine so keep that in mind alright?”

“Will you just get to the point?”

HeTian wished he had the foresight to insist on stopping by his fridge for more beer. Now his hands are very empty, his throat dry, and he was standing by the window, without a chair he could park his lazy ass on.

“Do you remember a couple of years back we watched this local documentary where this reporter went undercover to do a scoop about the Hong Kong triads and our own Chinese mafia?”

“The one where the guy uncovered a human trafficking ring selling girls into prostitution? Yeah what of it?”

“They were trafficking girls _and_ boys.”

HeTian found himself frowning, unsure of where this conversation was leading to, and he wanted to slap Zhan ZhengXi to get right to the point.

“Okay. What does this have to do with JianYi?”

“I think he’s involved.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

The brunette brought his hands up to forestall any attempts to walk away from what was sounding to be a ridiculous conversation he knew HeTian hadn’t the patience for.

“This is just a theory of mine, but…”

“You think JianYi’s running a human trafficking ring?”

“What? No!”

“You think he’s running a prostitution ring.”

“Of course not!”

“Then what? Spit it out ZhengXi, or I’m walking out of here.”

“I think he’s a victim.”

The emphasis placed on that last word gave HeTian enough pause to finally give Zhan ZhengXi his full attention.

“You think he’s a victim.”

He repeated those words, wanting confirmation that he hadn’t heard wrong, or that he didn’t get the wrong idea.

“Like I said, it’s just a theory I have.”

“Do you even understand what it is you’re suggesting? You think he was kidnapped, auctioned off and then forced into… Are you certain? Because that’s not something you pull out of a hat as a topic of casual conversation.”

“HeTian, I have been going through this in my head over and over and as much as I’d like to think that I’m crazy for coming to such a conclusion, all the facts line up and it makes sense.”

HeTian folded his arms, and leaned his weight against the window sill, frowning again as he watched his friend. 

“Fine, tell me your reasons.”

“For a start, I found him in the middle of the night in one of the back streets in the middle of winter. It was freezing cold, as in I had on a coat and a scarf and I’d brisk walked a mile and I was still feeling it sort of cold. He was in just a T-shirt and jeans, plus he was bleeding out from a wound on his shoulder. My sister thought it’s consistent with a shot from a gun, but when I asked, JianYi said it was a industrial accident and didn’t want to elaborate any further. So maybe he ran away from people who had guns. The mafia would have guns.”

“As do the police, you ever thought of them?”

Zhan ZhengXi blinked and said nothing. Of course he had thought of that, but it did not fit with his narrative so he conveniently chose to ignore it, then he went on like HeTian hadn’t interrupted him.

“He didn’t have anything on him, no bags, no wallet, no ID, nothing. He doesn’t know anyone here, no friends, or relatives, not even a place to stay, and his accent, clearly he isn’t from Beijing, so where did he come from? Why was he here on his own?”

“Running away from the police.”

Zhan ZhengXi narrowed his eyes, not happy that HeTian seemed bent on playing devil's advocate.

“You say that, but JianYi doesn’t act like he’s hiding from the police when he’s around the police. Plus, wouldn’t you bring stuff with you if you’re on the run? Clothes, cash, that sort of stuff?”

“I wouldn’t claim to know what a person running from the law would or would not bring along with him ZhengXi.”

“Can’t you just shut up and listen?”

He stared pointedly at HeTian, challenging him to say another word before he was done relating all the evidence he had gathered for his case. And surprisingly, the latter kept his mouth shut.

“Last week, I went home to find him cutting into his hand to take out a microchip, like the ones we use to tag cats and dogs so we can track them down if they go missing? He told me there are people trying to find him. And what about today? One look at Mo’s face and he bolted, had a full on panic attack and almost punched me in the face. Apparently Mo looks like one of the guys trying to find him, so clearly he’s in some sort of trouble, but he doesn’t want to tell me more because he’s trying to keep me from knowing too much to keep me safe. So I’m thinking, maybe he ran away from the mafia?”

“And I’m thinking that you’re crazy for letting a person with such a shady history into your home, just because he resembles your ex-boyfriend.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Tian, you hired the bastard into your payroll and wanted him in your home, so don’t give me that fucked up righteous crap this time of night.”

“Fine, you win, anything else?”

This time the brunette hesitated. He was alright to discussing incidents that had happened between him and the blonde, but this last detail that he had kept, he considered a personal matter, something that he had discovered quite unintentionally, right at the beginning of their encounter, while he was taking care of the blonde, trying to keep his wound from becoming infected. 

“There is one more thing, but you have to swear never to tell, because I think I’m not suppose to have seen it.”

HeTian noted the change in attitude in Zhan ZhengXi, rather than the eagerness to please, he was now much more serious, and it caused him to straighten himself up and toss away his own critic persona, nodding as an agreement, silent while he waited for the other to speak again.

“He’s got a mark on his right side, just below the hip, like a tattoo, only it’s not a tattoo, but from a branding iron. It's small, about the size of a coin, but of course I don't know enough about mafia symbols to recognise it.” (see end note)

"ZhengXi, I'm not gonna question how you managed to see a mark at such an intimate spot, but it could still be put there intentionally by JianYi himself."

"That's a sound excuse if JianYi was a girl. But boys his age with any form of body modification like a tattoo, they'd put it somewhere obvious, places where they can show it off wouldn't they?"

"Then let me ask you this. Knowing what you think you know about his situation, what are you going to do about it?"

It was the one question HeTian had been meaning to ask ever since his friend started going on about his little theory. 

"Tian I know what you're thinking, but I don't want to confront JianYi about this because I could be wrong, but if I'm right, then don't you think I should wait for him to tell me?"

There were many qualities about the brunette that HeTian admired and liked, but this annoying little character trait of his, he found he could not stand. So he raised his hands and placed them square on the shorter man's shoulders and dug his fingers in, though not too hard that it actually hurt.

"Zhan ZhengXi, please know that you cannot solve a problem when you don't know what that problem is. If you're not going to ask JianYi and find out just what the hell kind of trouble he's gotten himself in, then why the fuck did you bother telling me all this?"

—

 

"What's your relationship with HeTian exactly?"

JianYi had been watching the couple all evening, and the general vibe he got from observing the two was that they weren't just very close friends.

"The cliched answer is that it's complicated."

The older of the two wrinkled his nose at his own choice of words, disliking the sound of it, even if it was the truth.

"We like each other enough, but we're so bad at relationships, we've long since stopped trying to make it work."

He watched the boy put on a particular look and he smiled with the knowledge of the thoughts that were going through that head.

"You're thinking that the problem lies with HeTian?"

A rather sheepish grin confirmed his guess.

"A lot of people take one look at him and all they see is a rich playboy, so naturally they'll think this way."

"But... they're wrong?"

That response elicited a string of warm laughter from Mo GuanShan, and he realised then that he was beginning to think very fondly of the blonde, their venture into mutual friendship a seamless one despite the awkward way it had begun.

"He's about as faithful and loyal a lover as you can ever hope to get. I've always been the one to let him down, he'd always been the one to shoulder the blame. I'm not sure if he realises, though I suppose he probably does. He's extremely selfless when it comes to me, which was why the very last time we broke up, I used my mom as an excuse and moved out of this city, then took up a job as a commercial pilot so I could come see him whenever I missed him, which, in hindsight, might have been the most cruel thing I could do to him. But hey, I'm a selfish bastard."

At some point in their conversation JianYi had glanced over into the living room to find Zhan ZhengXi and HeTian missing from in front of the television. As much as he was enjoying his conversation with his new friend, he still had the strong urge to go looking for the brunette. He fiddled with the empty bottle in his hands.

"Enough about me, let's talk about you."

"What?"

He brought his attention back to the older man, surprised that they were back to discussing about himself once again, after all that effort JianYi took to divert it before.

"I've seen the way you look at ZhengXi."

"There's... nothing going on between us."

"I know."

There was something a bit unnerving in the way Mo GuanShan had continued to stare at JianYi, with a smile which left the blonde feeling all vulnerable and exposed, and he found he didn't like it one bit. 

"There won't ever be anything between us. He doesn't see me that way, I'm sure of it."

Mo GuanShan nodded his acknowledgement, his smile never dropping.

"I'm starting to like you JianYi, as such I'll show you my support by giving you a piece of information no one else would think to offer you. ZhengXi is an observant man, but he can be fundamentally blind to the fairly obvious. Over the years I've witnessed countless of men and women silently pine after him, and Ah Xi oblivious to that fact."

"Okay, so he's popular?"

The red head sighed, rolling his eyes at JianYi's attempt to avoid the topic.

"If you like him, tell him. He's only ever had one other relationship after the boyfriend passed away, and the only reason she was given any attention from Xi was that she was extremely upfront and loud about the fact that she was in love with him.”

JianYi contemplated those pearls of wisdom, deciding immediately that he was not going to do just that.

“So what happened? Why did they break up?”

“Why don’t you ask ZhengXi yourself?”

“Ask me what?”

JianYi snapped his head around to look at the source of the interjecting voice so fast he heard his neck pop.

“Why you broke up with—”

“NOTHING!”

Rudely cutting Mo GuanShan off, he stood up abruptly, catching the empty bottle that had been left lying on his lap just a second before it hit the deck.

“I need to use the bathroom.”

With that, he scurried back into the apartment and straight into the bathroom, where he would lock himself up for a good length of time that was deemed appropriate for just a pee break. 

“So, did you get what you need out of Tian?”

The brunette shrugged, eyes still trailing after JianYi’s shadow even after he had disappeared from his line of sight.

“On hindsight, maybe I should’ve spoken to you instead. How long are you going to be here?”

“I haven’t decided, I’ve negotiated a month off my schedule, I may spend the entirety of it here.”

Sensing that there was something suspicious going on, Zhan ZhengXi turned his attention back to his longtime friend, observing him for a moment before coming to a conclusion that it might be best for him to keep his toes out of the other’s business this time around. 

“We should go on a trip, if you do decide to stay that long.”

"Just like old times?"

He recalled the last time they all went on a trip together, and he smiled.

"Exactly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if it needs explaining, but I've read before that pimps from well known gangs have a habit of marking the prostitutes who work for them. This is usually in the form of a tattoo in a visible part of the body, though sometimes that may be hidden, or a branding iron might be used.


	9. Chapter 9 - NINE DAYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated mature somewhere down the end

He opened his eyes to find himself seated on the inclined path leading to the lake. Snow fell from the sky and drifted all around him but he did not feel the coldness of the flakes as they landed on him. He stood up and turned his face towards the sky, staring at the floating white snow while he reached his hands out to try and catch it. And that's when he realised his arms, all pale and skinny were not quite his own.

"JianYi! Over here!"

The boy turned towards the voice calling him, a familiar looking woman waving her arms in the air, trying to get his attention. He recognised her immediately and he began to run towards her, his skinny little legs carrying him as fast as they could. It was then that the boy realised that he was an actual little boy once more.

"Mommy!"

The little boy with the short blonde hair and the grey eyes launched himself into the air at the final leg of his sprint, willing himself to fly to his mother, trusting that she would catch him and prevent his fall. And the woman did not disappoint him. With long blonde hair cascading down her back, and those same grey eyes herself, she plucked her child from the air and drew him into her tender embrace, peppering kisses where she could find bare skin on his face.

"Where were you?"

"I went on an adventure Mommy, with Grandpa, and I was all grown up and I made a friend and I like him whole a lot! And then I made friends with his friends, and we had a lot of fun!”

“Sounds wonderful dear.”

He opened his eyes again, this time finding himself by the heat of the fireplace, though he did not find it strange that he could not feel the flames, nor did his question how he came about to be sitting by the hearth. He could hear his grandmother humming a tune in the background and he turned his head to steal a glance at the old lady, scooting about the small cottage preparing a Christmas dinner.

"What's the matter dear?"

Blonde locks shifted as he shook his head, then moved himself off the floor to crawling onto the comfortable sofa, to a spot right next to his mother, who adjusted the blanket to accommodate his small frame.

"How about a story before dinner?"

He nodded enthusiastically, remembering just how much he'd loved listening to his mother read him stories. His favourite children's book appeared magically in his hands, though he failed to notice just how strange it seemed, and soon his mother's soothing voice filled the entire space, his surroundings literally fading away as she told the tale of a great white whale that swam the seas and terrorised sailing ships and one man's quest to slay the beast.

—

 

Zhan ZhengXi opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by darkness. He searched the room to find the clock, the faint glow of its digital display telling him it was not yet three in the morning. He closed his eyes again and adjusted his head back into his pillow, and snuggled deeper beneath the covers to go back to sleep. After a moment he sighed to himself and moved to get out of bed. He was hoping to ignore the full bladder because of how tired he still felt, but knew that he would have to do this little routine again soon if he didn't settle the matter now.

He returned to bed after he was done, and it was then that he finally realised that JianYi was missing from where he was suppose to be sound asleep. He frowned, puzzled because he was certain that he did not notice anyone else around on his way to the bathroom in his small little studio apartment. Suddenly feeling very awake, he fought the slight nervous bubbling of panic and made his way to the one place he hadn't yet gone, and had no cause to venture into so late in the night.

The first thing he spotted was the door unlocked and slightly ajar, which gave him the hope that JianYi had not left home. He pushed it gingerly, not wishing to scare the blonde and immediately spotted his familiar figure, sat on the floor with his knees pulled to his chest, and the unmistakable sound of soft, quiet sobbing. He held his breath, for maybe he had heard wrong, but the sniffling and the slight tremor to those shoulders were undeniable.

“JianYi?”

He had escaped to the roof, finding it to be the only place he could go to that allowed him the privacy necessary to cry his heart out as the world around him slept. When the calling of his name interrupted his solitude, he turned to the sound of that voice and surprise registered upon his face. He wasn’t expecting Zhan ZhengXi to appear before him, the latter always slept so soundly and rarely awoke before dawn. He realised almost too late, that he had been found out, and he instinctively tried to wipe his tears away, though the wetness of his cheeks and his red and puffy eyes continued to betray him.

“What’s the matter? Did something happen?”

Zhan ZhengXi had an expression filled with nothing but concern as he lowered himself and sat down in front of JianYi so he was facing him, and the blonde had to turn his face away just to try and pretend that he wasn’t embarrassed.

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s three in the morning and you look like you’ve been crying for god knows how long, so don’t tell me it’s nothing.”

The older of the two reached out with both his hands and brought the other’s face back and held it still so he could have a good look at him.

“It’s really nothing.”

“No one sheds tears over nothing.”

“It’s… just a silly thing.”

“Tell me anyway, I wanna hear it, please?”

JianYi bit into his lower lip, teeth gnawing into the tender flesh while he raised his hands to wrap fingers around the other’s wrists and slowly began to tear those warm hands away from his face. Though instead of letting go, he held onto those hands, staring as them as he took the opportunity to open up.

“I just had a dream. I dreamt about my mother. I haven’t seen her in such a long time. I really miss her.”

He continued to fiddle with Zhan ZhengXi’s hands, using it as a way to distract himself, never once could he bring himself to make eye contact with the brunette.

“My grandparents used to live in a little lakeside cottage. When I was a little boy, I’d spend all my summer and winter vacations at that place. My mother would always come with me, she’d leave my father behind in the city because he hated that place.”

Eventually he settled on playing with just one hand, opening and closing those fingers, tracing those long digits with that of his own.

“The lake is surrounded by acres of trees, so it would feel like we were lost in the middle of nowhere. During the summer, Grandpa would take me out on a boat and we’d try to catch us some fish. At night the edge that was furthest from the house would be filled with fireflies but I was never allowed out to catch them. The lake is in a place so far north, that when it came time for winter, the entire water surface would freeze over.”

JianYi stopped, hesitating to continue, for he wasn’t describing his dream anymore. But then the hand he held twisted itself about to hold on his own, as though silently encouraging him to carry on.

“My mother was a figure skater in her youth, and that lake was where she taught me how to ice skate. My best memories of her were on that frozen lake, and she had looked her happiest there. But then Grandma passed away and Daddy talked Mommy into convincing Grandpa to sell that magical place and move into the city with us, and that was the end of a happy childhood.”

“Let’s call her. If you miss her why not give her a call? Or better yet, let’s go find her, give her a surprise visit, I’ve got vacation days to spare. Where does she live?”

JianYi pulled his hand away, the furrow between his brows deepening. He understood just where the other man was coming from, so full of good intentions and positive thoughts. Yet why couldn’t this man realise that if it was an option, then he wouldn’t have to look for a spot in the middle of the night to cry tears all alone by himself.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Because it’s 2018, even my grandmother haven’t been born yet and my grandfather is probably dead in the future so he can’t just shimmy over here and spirit me away back home and I’ve got a time machine but it’s broken as fuck and I don’t know how to fix it so there’s literally fuck all that I can do that will allow me to see my mom.

“If I do that they’ll find me.”

Then there is also that.

“JianYi, what kind of trouble are you in exactly? Who are these people trying to find you? What do they want from you?”

Silence greeted him, just as he had expected. If it had been that simple, if all Zhan ZhengXi had to do to get the truth out of the other was to politely ask, then he would have done so a long time ago. He wouldn’t have had to patiently wait months in the hopes that the information he sought would be volunteered to him. And he realised now that he was slowly beginning to run out of patience, and the crazy theories and insane guesses were getting wilder by the days and oh my god now he just had to know!

“Are they the police? The state security? …The mafia?”

“The mafia? How did you….?”

He paused, trying to figure out just what he must have done or said in the past few months that would lead the brunette into making a connection that he might be involved with the Chinese mafia. That pause however, led Zhan ZhengXi to misunderstand and assume that he had hit the mark and guessed correctly.

“So it’s true? I knew it.”

“Wait, what do you know?”

“Well, it was accidental, but I saw the mark on your…”

For some unknown reason he didn’t want to name body parts, especially when it came attached to JianYi, so he settled for pointing with his finger to where the blonde really did have a symbol branded onto his skin.

“So I did some research.”

His research being a faint memory of a documentary he watched years ago and was about as reliable as any other known organic memory.

“And I figured it out.”

“ZhengXi, what exactly did you figure out?”

“That you were taken by a gang and sold to the mafia and forced into…”

“Into?”

For the sake of his pride he hoped he was right.

“Prostitution.”

He looked away then, feeling a blush of embarrassment steadily creeping onto his face. He may have been comfortable trading bombastic theories with HeTian, but listening to himself now talking out loud to not HeTian, he felt that maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut.

“Prostitution.”

JianYi repeated that last word, articulating it in his mouth so clearly he swore he must have seen Zhan ZhengXi cringe. He was very amused, but he wondered if he could use that. There comes a time in every single misunderstanding between two persons where anyone could consider it to be a pivotal turning point. It was at this point when decisions had to be made to either clear the misunderstanding, or to go along with it. Once this line had been crossed it would be too late to decide later on to change your mind about it. And JianYi was at this exact point in this particular situation, and for once, he didn’t know what to do.

He could go with the flow which would buy him more time, but then he'd be hard pressed to try and explain just why he had lied. Alternatively, he could tell the truth. and his friend would either believe him, or he would predictably think he was trying to evade the truth like he always did. But as life goes, there is always a third option of distraction, by grabbing your opponent's face and guaranteeing the case with that unexpected kiss.

If you were to ask JianYi, he wouldn't be able to tell you why he did what he did when he did, only that it felt right at the time, and he had always wanted to feel those lips against his own anyway. He kept it pure and chaste, not sure if he had the right to take it further, even if he had been the one to initiate. Instead he chose to move himself so he could be closer.

Zhan ZhengXi's mind had gone blank for a second. He had expected a lot of things coming from the blonde, but he hadn't anticipated a kiss. And by Jove, how he had longed to taste those lips, how he had refrained himself from touching him time and time again and now there he was, sweet lips pressed into his own and him in the process of climbing into his lap. And it was then that he exercised his resolve to push the boy away.

The kid would be lying if he didn't admit to being at least a little surprised and a little hurt at the blatant rejection of his advances. He allowed himself a pout as he watched the other one retreat back into the safety of the apartment, leaving him behind.

"ZhengXi."

The named person stopped, already at the threshold of the door. He turned, and what struck him the most was the face that had greeted him. It wasn't sorrowful, like the one from his teenage years, this one in the present, was smiling, and it struck home that they really were different people who happened to share the same face.

"You were wrong. There was never any gang, I was never sold, and all of my sexual encounters have been consensual, mostly."

He didn't reply, didn't have anything to say to that, just watched the boy, nodding to indicate that he had heard, then turned to disappear back the way he had come. He would go  back to bed and remain there for now, and perhaps when the sun came up again to greet the new day he might address the elephant in the room, assuming it was still there.

—

 

"How long will you be there?"

"I dunno. I've only just got here."

"Honey, you've been there a week."

"I know. Maybe I'll stay longer, I've got the entire month off."

"Do you need to?"

"They're planning a trip, a nearby getaway, it will be Tian, ZhengXi and this new guy. I'll probably tag along. For old time's sake."

"...Have you told him?"

"No I haven't."

"Why not? You said you'd-"

"The timing's not good. I'll need to do this properly. It has to be done right, I owe him the courtesy to do that much."

"...I love you."

"..."

"Shan?"

"I have to go, but I'll call you again soon. Please tell my mom that I'll call her tomorrow maybe."

Mo GuanShan took the phone away from his ear and touched that red button, ending the long distance call. Setting the device on the kitchen counter, he ran his hands down his face then combed them through his hair, messing up the red locks before heaving an incredibly loud sigh.

He had made lunch, not just for himself, but for HeTian and JianYi as well, since he had plans to pay them a visit at their office, and a well made lunch was as welcoming as a warm Spring day. He figured this gesture of goodwill will be able to buy him a free pass to waste a couple of hours interrupting the process of proper productive work.

He pocketed his phone, killing the ringer as he did so, then packed the boxes of food into a bag and left. Arriving within half an hour, he made his way up the building to the top floor, having been here so many times he could do it blind. He found JianYi as soon as the doors to the lift opened and it delighted him that he did not have to go searching for the boy.

“Oh good, here take these for me will you?”

He forced his delivery of food onto the young man, then practically dragged him by the elbow toward’s HeTian’s personal office where he knew the guy would either be talking on the phone, or typing away on his computer doing what businessmen did. He made the boy take all the food into the room while he stopped right outside of the secretary’s desk, bringing her his best, most charming smile he could master.

“Hey how’s it going?”

From his pocket, he fished out a palm-sized souvenir he had prepared and placed it in front of her.

“From Russia, St. Petersburg. Now I know it’s a bit early, but I’m sure HeTian won’t mind if you left for lunch now and maybe don’t return until say… three hours later?”

The girl laughed, and then stood to grab her stuff.

“He does have an after lunch appointment you know?”

“And I’m sure it’s not too hard for him to postpone it.”

He gave her a wink, then turned to leave, poking his head into the room first to check out the room before he let himself in. JianYi was already busying himself setting up the food containers on the coffee table, while HeTian was off in a corner trying to rearrange the after lunch appointment to a later timing, holding out one finger to Mo GuanShan as a indication that he wouldn’t be long.

“I realised now that I should’ve called first.”

“That's what you always say, but you never do.”

“JianYi sit down, I pulled you in so you can eat.”

JianYi sat down as instructed, then the other two did so too before they all started on lunch. Conversation centred mostly around Mo GuanShan’s adventures around the world as an airplane pilot, the redhead sharing the most bizarre situations he had gotten himself in foreign nations. Before they realised the hour was over, and they heard a knock on the door. HeTian thought it was his secretary, JianYi thought it was his supervisor come to see if he had been lost, and Mo GuanShan thought it was plain rude to be interrupted like that, he was in mid sentence after all.

The door opened and Zhan ZhengXi’s head peeked in, surprising all three, who weren’t expecting the brunette to turn up. He glanced around the room, noting the presence of all three men huddled around the coffee table with half empty food containers, then gestured for HeTian to come out.

“Hey you mind if I borrowed JianYi for an afternoon?”

“What’s this about?”

HeTian eyed his friend suspiciously, though clearly he didn’t mind the request one bit.

“There’s a place I wanna take him to.”

“And you gotta do this now? In the middle of a work day?”

“I took the afternoon off.”

“You never do that, not even for me. Something happened between you two?”

—

 

“I kissed him, like spontaneously, completely out of the blue, just felt like doing it so I did sort of kiss, kissed him.”

Mo GuanShan could only smile. He remembered his first kiss with HeTian, how it was exactly like that, though with the roles reversed, forced on to him, and how it had gone horribly wrong for the both of them.

“How did he react?”

“He pushed me away and ran off basically.”

—

 

“You ran away?”

Zhan ZhengXi grabbed hold of HeTian and dragged him further away from his office door. He did not need anyone else overhearing this, frankly, embarrassing recount of the night’s encounter.

“I did not run away. I went back to bed, there is a difference.”

“He practically throws himself at you and you rejected him. That counts as running away.”

“I seem to recall you warning me not to touch him.”

“A hot young thing climbs into my lap, I wouldn’t care if it’s the right thing to do, I’ll fuck him first and then deal with the repercussions later.”

“Is that what happened with Mo?”

“Careful Mr Zhan, I can just as easily rescind JianYi’s permission to neglect his work to go out gallivanting with you.”

—

 

“Tianjin?”

Mo GuanShan didn’t want for JianYi to dwell on a topic such as an ill timed kiss, so he changed the subject to one that was light hearted enough to take the boy’s attention away from the topic.

“Yes. It’s about a two hour drive away, and it’s still cold enough to enjoy the hot springs there. We’re thinking of a short holiday before I have to leave again, so why not Tianjin?”

He thought it would also give both Zhan ZhengXi and JianYi the perfect opportunity to  attempt at creating some sparks that could drive their romance. Nothing to do with the fact that his own love life was a mess, and he needed to orchestrate a simple romance to right things in the world.

“You want me to go?”

“Oh don’t be silly, you’re part of the group now whether you like it or not, so of course you’re being included. Best you get used to it.”

JianYi smiled sheepishly, not sure how to react to that, so instead he focused on cleaning up the table. They talked some more about travel plans to other potential nearby destinations, with JianYi pretending to be terrified of flying (people don’t do that anymore in the future, where teleportation is a much cheaper and safer option) so he didn’t have to explain just why he cannot produce an ID to get past airport security.

After a while the missing two popped back into the office space, though Zhan ZhengXi lingered at the threshold, waiting for HeTian to explain everything to JianYi before casting him off to the exit where the brunette collected him. Mo GuanShan saw them off with the excuse that he needed to get rid of some trash, and when he returned to the room he made sure to shut the door tight and double bolted the lock so that no one else could enter.

“Did he tell you about that stupid thing he did with JianYi?”

He sauntered over to where HeTian sat in his chair nursing a cup of oolong tea.

“I think that’s why he showed his face here. He’s attempting to make up for it.”

Instead of taking a seat, Mo GuanShan went around and stood himself behind the chair, letting his hands fall upon HeTian's shoulders, stopping for a while before he began to knead at the muscles, trying to massage all that tension away.

"Did he tell you what he's planning to do?"

"Knowing him, it will probably be some romantic gesture he doesn't mean to do, and will only realise it once it's over, and the poor kid will come back here all confused and maybe even hurt,"

Mo GuanShan started laughing, because he knew exactly how true that statement was. He moved to undo the top two buttons of HeTian's shirt, on the pretext that he wanted to really get into the knots in the latter's bare shoulders. He did not face any resistance.

"I spoke to JianYi about our trip. He claims to be afraid of flying, so we're left with destinations that are within a comfortable driving distance."

He allowed his hands to wander along down HeTian's chest, fingertips ghosting over nipples that reacted immediately to the touch, hardening into points, as if they needed more than just a shadow of a touch, to which the redhead obliged, brushing his index fingers over the two hard points on HeTian's chest in a series of teasing circles.

He was sat in front of the full length windows, the blinds completely drawn open to allow the room to be basking in the natural light of day. across from them is yet another one of those office buildings teaming with businesses on every available floor. That very fact amused Mo GuanShan so much that he took the time to tilt the chair so that HeTian was seated front facing the window, and he finished by pushing the chair as close to the glass as it would be comfortable for HeTian to remain relaxed and still allow an unrestricted view for anyone in that other building to see them should they be so bothered to pay attention.

"Don't move."

He pressed his lips against HeTian's ear and whispered his instruction before tilting his head to take the earlobe into his mouth to nibble and suck while his hands worked to undo all the remaining buttons on the shirt, throwing it open to expose the ribbed abs and well sculpted chest.

"Is this your idea of revenge for what happened last night?"

"And I would prefer if you also didn't talk."

Reaching for the belt, he unbuckled it with careless ease, then worked on the button and the zipper, pausing thereafter to take a quick glance across to see if anyone had noticed before be snaked one hand beneath the elastic of his briefs to allow an already hard length of muscle to bask in the same light that was illuminating the office space surrounding the two.

He returned his attention back to HeTian, smiling upon the discovery that the hard cock was weeping at the very tip. He wrapped his fingers around, then swept his thumb over to smear that beaded liquid across its head in a full circle. He knew every kink HeTian had and was determined now to draw most of them out in the limited amount of time that he had before an interruption was sure to come.

With a kiss to HeTian's cheek, he pulled his face away and parted lips to sink his teeth into the skin of one shoulder at the same time he started to move his hand along the shaft of the penis in his hand, eliciting the sweetest of moans from a man who usually showed such restraint. With his free hand he pinched a nipple, delighting when he felt a shiver.

HeTian closed his eyes and leaned his head back, arching his back slightly to allow the other full access to himself, that only served to encourage the other's actions, as skilled hands brought him high and close to the very edge of a climax. He didn't hesitate to jump over that edge, a shuddering cry while he spurting a white hot and sticky mess all over his own stomach. He was left panting and seeing stars, opening his eyes only after he felt the warmth of GuanShan's body leave him as he peeled himself away.

HeTian did not move, not anxious enough to cover his exposed self or even to move to start cleaning himself up. He watched the red head as he moved away, then came back with tissues to help get rid of the rapidly cooling cum on his skin. After that he stood up, zipped his pants up and sought the remote to draw the blinds close. He wasn't going to be ungrateful to consume a specially prepared meal and a enjoy a post lunch hand job and not show his appreciation.

"Come here."

The room felt dark without the presence of the sun, and HeTian had deliberately killed some of the lights to set the mood, the way he knew the other liked it. He took GuanShan by the hand and led them both to the sofa by the corner of the room, where they had gathered for a meal before ZhengXi had appeared to whisk one of his employees away.

The push wasn't meant to be rough, but the man fell into his seat just the same, snuffing out a giggle as their lips met in a sort of frenzy; with one so earnest to give while the other so desperate to take. Two men making out in a darkened room, tongue rubbing against tongue like they were fighting, hands roaming all over each other, tugging at articles of clothing, each wanting to strip the other naked yet they had the presence of mind to remember just where they were.

Eventually HeTian slipped himself away from the other, strong hands pushing against the red head’s chest, urging him to stay put while he got off the sofa and onto the floor,  kneeling between beautifully spread thighs. Being watched with hooded eyes, he knew that this man was flushing with an almost desperate need for sexual release, evident by the way he so obediently lifted his weight when HeTian worked his fingers to unbuckle and peel back jeans that fitted a little too snugly.

He made haste, parting lips wide before he lowered his head to seemingly swallow the entire length of a hard and throbbing cock, causing a surprised gasp, followed by whimpers to erupt from the man’s throat. Had they been anywhere else, he would have taken his time to tease and torture, he loved it when Mo GuanShan abandoned all pride and beg to be fucked, he thought it was a shame that he couldn’t take his time to enjoy this.

Extending his tongue, not caring if he ended up drooling, he used it to massage his way over the parts his lips could not reach. He glanced up in time to find the red head biting into his lip, trying not to make too loud an indecent sound that may be overhead outside the confines of the office room. If he could smile, he would.

Despite this, Mo GuanShan soon grew impatient, and extending his arms, he buried his fingers deep among raven black hair and tugged, forcing that mouth wrapped around his raging hard on to move. He eased his grip once a rhythm had been established, he had his eyes closed to enjoy the feeling of a wet and warm softness enveloping him.

HeTian knew all about pleasing, all the tips and tricks he could use to draw out the wildest moans and the filthiest words from the other's sweet lips, and he used them all because he had no reason to hold himself back. It wouldn't take long to build towards a climax and it didn't. After a while of bobbing his head up and down along the shaft, Mo GuanShan exploded into his mouth with a voice that made him feel accomplished.

It was an after thought when he pulled away and watched as the other lay wasted on his sofa, eyes barely able to keep open but staring intently back at him, and in a moment's decision, he swallowed the load in his mouth, licked the corners of his lips and smiled at the astonishment that greeted him. He would have said something but for a knock on the door that brought both their attention to the fact that they were still in an office building.

—

 

For some unexplained reason, they did not talk. After Zhan ZhengXi had briefly gone over his plans to bring JianYi to an unspecified place, and after the blonde had expressed his agreement to follow with no further questions, they exchanged not another word. Not as they entered the lift and got themselves to the basement car park, not as they got into an unfamiliar car that Zhan ZhengXi had rented for the day, and not as they started on their journey towards the outskirts of the city.

It was a pleasant kind of silence, the sort that no one minded because the radio was on. He hadn't bothered to ask where he was being taken to, since it had already been established that it was suppose to be a surprise.

The journey took about half an hour, in between the silence they made small talk, and then the car turned into an almost empty parking lot in front of a nondescript two story building where Zhan ZhengXi parked and got out and JianYi had no choice but to follow.

The air within felt colder than the air without, and the blonde frowned because he didn't like cold interiors outside of Summer. But still he followed obediently, casually looking about until the long corridor gave way into.

"An ice rink?"

He was confused, why would he take him to a skating rink in the middle of a workday, and made like it was such a huge secret.

"You're homesick, and you miss your mom, but you can't go home, or contact her. You said she taught you how to skate, and you told me it was one of your fondest memories of her. It's a little late in the year to go looking for frozen lakes, so I thought, why not bring you here as the next best thing?"

It all fell into place, and it was indeed a pleasant surprise. He smiled, making his way to the edge of the rink.

"Thank you."

"Come on, let's get you into some skates."

He wasn't sure what his shoe size was, so they took out several pairs for him to try on, and whilst fitting them on, he couldn't help but notice how the entire place was deserted.

"Why's this place so empty?"

"They're closed today. Once a month they do that to get their maintenance done, I just happen to know the owner, and you just happen to pick the right day."

Not that he minded, because there's nothing worse than being in a crowded rink when you also have a phobia of having your fingers sheered off by skates.

"Why aren't you changing to skates?"

He found the right size, laced them up nice and tight, then stood up to test the fit.

"I'm a terrible skater, I'll only be a hazard."

"I'm not doing this alone. It's pointless, I'll leave if you don't."

He waited, rooted himself on the spot with his arms across his chest until he got what he wanted, and then he moved to the edge of the rink where the one opening was, and he turned and stood there like he was waiting for the other to catch up. When the brunette was close enough he beamed and took a step back, right onto the ice. It was an unsteady one that had him wobbling and almost falling over, though he managed to find his balance and off he went, skating backwards so effortlessly while urging for his friend to join him.

Zhan ZhengXi got onto the ice but he stayed close to the wall. He was delighted to see how the blonde had taken to the ice the way a duck took to water. There was a moment where he thought that it was good to know that JianYi hadn't been lying to him with a made up story, and then he frowned to himself, wondering why such a thought would come out of his head.

The kid took his time to warm up, he hadn’t done this ever since he was a teenager, and he hoped that muscle memory could bring him up to speed with getting used to this activity again. He went several rounds around the circumference of the rink, pausing every time he went past ZhengXi in order to try and get the brunette to join him. He gave up after realising that the older man was basically going to continue to cling onto the edge of the wall like a child in a pool who had yet to learn how to swim.

He worked up the courage to do a simple toe loop, crying out in excitement when he hadn’t ended up on falling on his bottom, fist bumping the air like he had just won an olympic gold.

"OH MY GOD ZHENGXI DID YOU SEE THAT?!"

The sight of it all made Zhan ZhengXi smile, impressed by the tenacity of his youth, though it only served to make him want to cling onto the edge of the rink even more. Skating on ice wasn't his thing, he was more of a feet on solid gritty ground kind of guy. He stood there with his back against the wall, hoping that he could continue to remain inconspicuous while his friend carried on practicing those jumps that made him look like he could fall over and bash his head in at any given moment.

"I haven't seen you move once."

It was bound to happen, JianYi couldn't possible go round and round in circles forever ignoring the presence of a certain stationary man stuck at the edge like he was some immovable ornament.

"I brought you here to cheer you up, I didn't come here to skate. Honestly I barely even know how."

JianYi was already holding onto his hands, pulling him away from the safety of the wall. They were both in the centre of the rink before ZhengXi could even come up with a suitable excuse to not have to do this.

"It's simple, just make sure your knees are bent and hold onto me, I'll get you skating in no time."

But it really wasn't as simple as that. Much like riding a bicycle, it was easy for someone who already knew how to do tricks on a bike to tell one who is just learning how to ride one to just do a thing and you'll be on the way to becoming a pro. Like a disaster waiting to happen, the brunette went along with whatever the youth said, trying to keep up, and keeping his mouth shut because he did not wish the other to think badly of him.

He hadn't meant to, but when he lost his balance, survival instinct took over and he grabbed hold of JianYi hard, and because the latter hadn't been expecting that to happen, he wasn't given the time to react so he ended up being dragged under by Zhan ZhengXi, and before he could comprehend what had happened, JianYi was already laying flat on his back against the ice, with Zhan ZhengXi laying flat on top of him.

"Are you alright? Did I hurt you?"

JianYi shook his head, already trying to work out just how he could get the other off him, looking anywhere but at him so he didn't start blushing, attempting to keep his mind off the thigh that was incidentally between his legs, innocently applying a pressure it really shouldn't be against his groin.

"Could you..."

"Hey Zhan, I may have agreed to let you use the rink for your date, but if you're gonna do anything more, please get a room, there's a hotel about five minutes away from here."

JianYi rather unceremoniously shoved Zhan ZhengXi away from him as he scrambled to get himself onto a sitting position, his cheeks burning as the blush he had tried to keep at bay found its way flushing all over his pale skin. Zhan ZhengXi understood the sentiment of that action, but still he felt a little hurt by it. The fact that he had done the same to the other not a day before hadn't escaped him. He stood, helping the other onto his feet before he very slowly made his way back to the edge of the rink, where a man stood that JianYi hadn't seen before.

"Don't speak before you've got all the facts. I tripped and dragged him down with me as I was falling. Context matters."

The brunette paused as JianYi came up next to him, the blush he had spotted earlier already being kept under control.

"JianYi, meet Wang, owner of this ice rink, and one of the very first friends I made when I moved to Beijing way back when."

They shook hands, talked, laughed, and when the time came for it, expressed their gratitude and left. JianYi liked that his repertoire of friends kept expanding the way it did, it made him feel like he was building a life in a place he didn't belong in, which in turn, only served to increase his internal fears and loneliness. He missed his old life and his circle of friends and his family. Zhan ZhengXi's efforts offered him temporary relief, but it was like trying to mend a broken machine with post-its. Soon it would unravel and fall apart.


	10. Chapter 10 - TEN DAYS

Vacations were not his thing. He dreaded the whole process of travelling to a faraway place cramped in a car, a bus, a train, a ferry, or a plane, arriving all tired and cranky and away from the familiarity and convenience and comforts of home. Sure, for a while you may enjoy yourself, soaking in the cultural sights and sounds of a place you’ve never been to, doing things you usually never would, letting the environment influence you, distracting you for a few, but eventually you’d have to do that whole travelling in a confined space back to your home again, where you’ll have to spend the next few days adjusting back to your daily routine like you’ve never left.

No, holidays were not his thing, but here he was at the crack of dawn, bags all packed and stuffed into the back of his car while he waited for Mo GuanShan to appear with his own set of luggage to be placed next to his. He lit a cigarette and wondered why he could not remember the last time he had taken a road trip. He was certain it was with this same group of friends, but his mind drew a blank on where, when, whom exactly or how.

Mo GuanShan on the other hand, loved vacations. It was the whole reason why he ever decided to become a pilot in the first place. As a child he never got a chance to go anywhere, whereas HeTian was begging his parents to leave him out of planned family trips to Europe and other known exotic locations by the time he entered middle school.

They both got into the vehicle. HeTian had made the decision to use his car rather than renting one for the trip. The interior smelt like him.

The car had started, but when HeTian hadn't driven off, it got Mo GuanShan's attention enough to turn and stare curiously at him.

"Did you forget something?"

"I know you have something to tell me Shan. I don't know why you're dragging your feet about it, but you look like it's eating you up from the inside. It pains me to see you this way."

Mo GuanShan looked away, the atmosphere within the cabin suddenly tense. He wasn't quite expecting to face this just yet, so he avoided HeTian's gaze as much as he could.

"I'll tell you when the time is right, and now is not the right time."

It wasn't the answer that HeTian was looking for, but he knew that for now that he shall have to suffice with such a reply. Nodding more to himself than for anyone else to acknowledge, he reached to turn on the radio in the hopes it would serve to dispel the heavy air between them.

"Then I will wait."

The drive over to pick Zhan ZhengXi and JianYi from their apartment was uneventful, and as they left the city to the first rays of the rising sun, HeTian decided in the spur of the moment to abandon their planned itinerary, and set a course to some place else.

"You missed the exit."

"I know."

"Tian, you're going the wrong way."

"I know."

"You missed the exist again."

"I know."

"Tian?"

"I didn't agree to go on your lousy budget trip alright? We're not university students anymore. I own this car, I'm driving this car, so we're going to go to a proper resort and do this properly."

Zhan ZhengXi raised his brow and thought hard about what he was going to say next.

"So long as you're paying."

—

 

Three hours later they ended up midway up a remote mountain in the outskirts of the countryside. They looked at each other as they sized up the luxurious looking resort that loomed in the distance like something out of a travel catalogue boasting of six star accommodations and first class service. Then they started to get a little bit nervous when HeTian drove all the way up the lobby and parked his car in a spot clearly marked for VIP guests.

"Oi you trying to get us thrown out of here or what?"

"They wouldn't."

And HeTian wasn't lying, because as soon as he got out of the car, people were appearing from all over trying to be helpful. They only figured out later that the place was owned by HeTian's uncle, thus it would cost next to nothing to stay and enjoy the facilities.

They got themselves adjacent rooms sharing a patio that led up to a single private pool with waters fed from a nearby spring. It offered a magnificent view of the surrounding mountain range and it resembled something that came out of a painting.

"Double beds huh, it's not going to be a problem for you is it?"

Zhan ZhengXi did not answer the question intended for him. He knew it was just a stab at him, and it would be pointless to answer. Instead he headed back into the room, in case JianYi missed him while he was gone. He could tell that the kid was a little overwhelmed at the moment. So impressed by what he saw that he had been wide eyed ever since they stepped out of the car.

"You doing okay?"

"I'm thinking that I could get used to this."

"The perks of being friends with HeTian, but I suggest you don't start thinking this happens all the time, because it doesn't."

"I know, I know, now go shower."

With that he grabbed ZhengXi by the shoulders and pushed him into a bathroom so big, it was practically the size of someone's bedroom.

—

 

"You still haven't said anything to him?"

"I'll do it soon. How are things at your end? Are you all settled in?"

"Don't change the subject Shan, I let you do that last time. When are you telling him?"

"Like I said before, I'm trying to find the right time to tell him."

"And what if you don't? Then what? Are you going to come home to me without saying anything? You promised."

Mo GuanShan pulled the phone away and fought back the urge to scream in frustration. A second later he placed the phone back to his ear and took a deep breath.

"You don't trust me? When have I ever lied to you?"

An awkward pause, a silent admission of guilt.

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm just worried that... that..."

"Yuan, there is no doubt that I love you. I chose you, so it means that at the end of the day, you will be the one I go home to. Right now, I need you to trust me. I need you to give me a little bit more time. You need to believe that before I fly home to you, I will end things with HeTian."

"You're right, I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

"You don't need to apologise."

"Okay, how about I miss you?"

"I have to go, I'm gonna hang up now. I'll call you again when I'm back in Beijing."

Mo GuanShan terminated the call, pocketed the phone, and turned around to find JianYi standing at a distance, looking terribly embarrassed, like he knew he shouldn't even be there. He closed the distance between them quickly, but the blonde didn't try to run, something which GuanShan was grateful for.

"The erm, guy at the lobby said there's a great place to eat down at the villiage, and there's gonna be fireworks later tonight and erm... HeTian said to come get you so we could all go..."

He couldn't bring himself to look at GuanShan, knowing that he had made a mistake, and should have just walked away as soon as he realised that it wasn't a casual phone conversation he had stumbled upon.

"How long have you been standing here?"

"...long enough?"

"You heard everything."

It wasn't a question so much as a fact spoken out loud.

"Just enough to make this trip extremely awkward for me."

"Surely I don't need to tell you not to say anything to Tian."

JianYi looked up then, a frown creeping across his forehead like a cloud on a sunny day. He studied the features on the red head's face, trying to understand what he couldn't comprehend. Zhan ZhengXi had once in a late night conversation before bedtime highlighted the dynamics that made up the complicated relationship this couple had shared since their high school days. He had come away with the conclusion that they were in love, yet they couldn't figure out how to make it work. But then again, that was the perspective of an outsider. No matter how close all three of them were as friends, ZhengXi could not know everything that goes on in their heads.

"I'm not going to say anything to anyone, and frankly it's none of my business but, why?"

Mo GuanShan shoved his hands in his pockets and gestured for JianYi to follow as he began to walk away, toward where the intended rendezvous point was suppose to be.

"I'm doing this because he won't. We're not good for each other. We will admit it, but we won't do anything about it, and now look at the state we're in. I needed to move on, so I did. To set things right I have to break, no, crush his heart, and I will."

They were almost where the other two was now. All they needed to do now was to round a corner. Not very much time left to continue their conversation.

"I'm not gonna comment on that, but I will say this. I hope that when you're done, your friendship with HeTian will have survived."

"...me too."

—

 

"You feeling alright? You've been rather quiet since we set off from the resort."

JianYi turned to Zhan ZhengXi seated beside him and smiled.

"I was just thinking."

"What about?"

"It's not important. What are we going to do now that Tian and Shan have thoroughly abandoned us?"

The four of them had descended down the mountain to the little village at its base to dine. HeTian had wanted to stick around the area, maybe explore the village a little to kill time before the fireworks. Zhan ZhengXi had other ideas, like hiking up a trail he saw on the way over. Mo GuanShan had decided to stay with HeTian, so naturally JianYi had felt forced to remain by ZhengXi's side in order to avoid being left alone with the couple.

"Let's go take a walk."

He stood up and reached his hand out for JianYi to take. The kid obliged, though he opted to refuse the hand, leaving it outstretched as he stood up and left the building. Zhan ZhengXi caught up and took JianYi by the hand, this time without waiting for permission.

They took their time on the ascend, Zhan ZhengXi constantly pausing to give time for JianYi to catch up. He could tell the boy was the indoor type, and not at all inclined towards exercise, or any real form of sport activity the way he was made breathless from the climb. Quite a few times ZhengXi offered to stop and head back to the villiage to regroup with the others, but the blonde would always shake his head and refuse, and instead he would urge him to carry on and not stop until they reached the top.

Time did not wait for them to complete their task, and the sun had begun to set before they got to the peak, and by the time they reached their destination, the final rays of the sun had shifted itself over the distant horizon, leaving the world around them to be shrouded in darkness. Zhan ZhengXi was glad he bothered to pack some torchlights along with his water. He didn't fancy trying to get back down with only the light of the moon to guide them.

"We made it."

JianYi moved to the edge of the clearing while he drunk deeply from the bottle of water that had been offered to him, ending off with a satisfied sigh and a huge grin as he looked at the view that was presented to him. He felt accomplished, and the exhaustion that he felt in his legs took his thoughts away from worrying about HeTian.

"Now what? We start climbing down?"

"Nope, we wait for fireworks."

JianYi had chosen a big boulder to sit down on, so ZhengXi joined him, sharing the small space in silence in the near pitch darkness, until enough time had passed.

"I can tell that something's bothering you JianYi."

"You've known HeTian and GuanShan for a long time right Xi?"

The brunette blinked at the casual use of a pet name, but then he smiled and decided not to make too much out of it, pulling his attention instead back to the topic at hand.

"So something must have happened when we sent you to go fetch Mo huh? No wonder you took so long. Did you stumble onto some forbidden information that's now plaguing your mind?"

He knew he was right, even without JianYi's utter silence to confirm it.

"We were no more than kids when we first became friends, I've watched them struggle with their friendship, then with their relationship, then with their break up, and make up and a seemingly endless cycle of self inflicted angst until they settled on what they have today. Whatever it was that's got you frowning JianYi, know that it is not your burden to carry. Better to let it go and let them work it out by themselves, because it's none of your business anyway."

"I know that, but..."

The fireworks show had begun then, the distant booms accompanying sparks of colour bursting into the night sky still blue from the departed sun. JianYi noticed how the stars had already showed up in twinkling dots scattered across the sky. Then Zhan ZhengXi draped his arm over JianYi's shoulder, casually drawing him closer, and pulling his attention away from the fireworks display at the same time.

"You know I haven't told you this,"

The brunette begun, eyes still fixed upon the horizon because he knew JianYi was watching him now.

"But I'm glad I was the one who found you, I'm thankful that you chose to stay, and I'm sorry I haven't been honest with myself."

"What do you mean?"

His answer to JianYi's question wasn't immediate, he let it linger in the air on the pretext of watching a fireworks display he wasn't even paying attention to anymore, maybe hoping the other might forget about it, maybe trying to stall for time as he sort through his options for the next step he was about to take. The show had worked its way to its peak by then, though before the grand finale Zhan ZhengXi made the decision for himself, that he was not going to let the chance slip him by again, because fuck it, the future is uncertain and he was once told that you only live once.

JianYi's first instinctive reaction was to pull away, and he would have succeeded if not for the fact that just as Zhan ZhengXi had turned his face and leaned into the boy for a kiss, he had in that moment, also reached out to with a firm grip to the back of that head of blonde locks to pull him close. Eventually he gave in, and the kiss they both shared was long and lingering, the uncertainty they both felt in the pits of their stomachs preventing them from taking it any further, though when they parted, it was not without any regret.

The show was over by then, and they found themselves enshrouded by darkness, with only the moon above them to give them any sort of illumination. JianYi remained very quiet, and Zhan ZhengXi suddenly had that very horrible realisation that he may have gotten it wrong again. He stood up, grabbed his belongings and helped JianYi to his feet, holding onto him for just a moment longer.

"I don't want there to be any misunderstandings between us JianYi. I kissed you because I have feelings for you and..."

He hesitated, a fear clinging onto him like a cloak from the discomfort of the unknown.

"I don't suppose you feel the same way about me but, you think you could give us a chance?"

"Zhan ZhengXi, how could I possibly say no to that?"

This time when their lips met it was intense and filled with an eagerness that left both of them breathless and wanting more, though both had the sense to stop and start making their way down the mountain before it got too late and too dangerous. None were too surprised to discover that HeTian and Mo GuanShan hadn't bothered to wait for the two of them, although they had enough courtesy to leave a message informing that they had retired back to the resort for the night, accompanied with a curtain of slightly indecent emojis that were most certainly the work of HeTian.

—

 

The trip back to the resort was uneventful, both boys spending the entire journey at the back of the car in absolute silence, though should anyone looking were to pay attention, their hands were busy lacing and unlocking in an almost lazy fashion. None paid much attention to the other otherwise, opting to stare out into the vast darkness of the mountain climb, with only a few scattered lights to guide their way up. To the city boys, it was an unnerving experience.

"Can we keep us a secret? Just for now, I..."

"I don't mind."

Zhan ZhengXi shrugged the concern off like it was nothing, turning to shut the door to their room. They stood in the entryway for a long time after that, just staring at each other, both knowing that the dynamics between them had changed in just the span of less than a day.

"Whatever it is you're thinking about worrying in that head of yours, stop it."

"But I wasn---"

"You don't think I know you enough by now?"

The brunette smiled and took the opportunity to move, both arms reaching to rest upon the wall just behind JianYi, trapping him into place so that the slightly shorter one had no choice but to lean against the surface to gain a bit of that personal space.

"Nothing is going to change... okay maybe not nothing, but I have enough experience to know that things between us isn't going to change very much. For now at least. And whatever GuanShan has told you about me so far... now don't pretend that he hasn't been talking to you about me all this time, I'm not an idiot. Whatever he's told you, he's probably right."

"You don't even know what he's said to me."

"Fine, then he's probably wrong. My point is, you have the tendency to worry too much, and you always feel like you need to explain yourself to me, and I want you to stop that."

The blonde didn't know how to answer to that so he simply smiled and nodded.

"Good, I'm going to let HeTian know that we're back, though I doubt he could care less if we spent the night outside, after that I'm going to so soak in the pool, wanna come?"

Grateful for the change of topic, JianYi nodded and started making his way towards the patio. The first thing he noticed as he slipped out of the glass door was the darkness of the surrounding mountain range that helped illuminate the stars that peppered the night sky. He spent a moment staring up at the cloudless expanse of space, the moon already high overhead and full enough that there wasn't any need to turn on any lights.

Still he was glad of the small, soft pools of light along the path to act as a guide to the pool. He had thought that the place was empty until he had gotten too close and when he realised what he had witnessed, he stood rooted to the ground, suddenly unsure of how to react and what to do with himself.

HeTian and Mo GuanShan had opted to skip the fireworks in favour of returning to the resort a little early to enjoy some alone time. They had guessed the other two wouldn't be back too early so they took their time, at first taking the time to explore a bit of the resort's facilities in anticipation of potential activities they could occupy themselves with for the next day or so before they would have to leave and return to living their lives, eventually returning to lazing around in their room and channel surfing for a bit before boredom got the better of them both and they had ended up completely naked.

After raiding the mini bar, and HeTian being as persuasive as he always was, his friend somehow ended up with a butt plug buried deep inside his ass, and a weeping erection he had refused to allow HeTian to work his magical mouth in order to get rid of it. Eventually they migrated to the shallow end of the pool outside, the hot spring water keeping them comfortable enough until they both realised the time was getting late, and they had the choice to either finish up their little adventure, or begrudgingly move themselves back to their room.

HeTian of course knew exactly which to choose, moving so his chest was flush against the back of the red head, his strong arm reaching to lift one leg up so GuanShan was lying over the side of the pool. The plug made its way out slowly, a shiver creeping up his spine as it left him. There wasn't time to adjust to the void before HeTian eagerly pushed his cock in, soliciting a dirty moan from the one beneath him.

"Shhh... not too loud now, unless you want everyone staying with us here to know what we're up to."

He allowed only a short interval for the other to prepare himself before he began thrusting, sinking his teeth into the crook of that vulnerable neck to hold back his own voice, right before he noticed movement at the corner of his eyes. He moved away from that bruise now forming over fair skin and looked up to find a wide-eyed JianYi rooted to the ground with a horrified expression on his face, just a distance away from where they were having sex. HeTian smiled, not at all embarrassed as he reached over and grabbed a fistful of red coloured hair and yanked it back so that Mo GuanShan was forced to look up and notice the intruder, though at this point in their evening, he was too horny and too in need for release to be bothered about his own modesty, and instead of stopping, he ended up closing his eyes and moaning, his face so erotic it made JianYi blush so hard he could feel the heat against the cool breeze of the summer night.

“JianYi?”

The last thing the young blonde wanted was for his newly minted boyfriend to walk in on him staring helplessly at a pair of their own friends fucking by the pool side, yet he found that he couldn’t speak, nor look away and his feet could not obey his orders to turn around and leave. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, and for a second there he had hoped that this was some sort of very bizarre dream.

“Jian… jesus what the fuck?”

Zhan ZhengXi, his knight in shining armour had come and grabbed hold of him, shielding him from the public display of depravity occurring just a few feet away. HeTian, to his credit, simply kept going, thrusting into his lover so much harder and faster that the one paying prone beneath him couldn’t do much else but bite his lip in a sad attempt to contain his voice.

“Fucking hell! You have a fucking room! Do that shit in your own fucking room you fucking bastards!”

The brunette slammed the sliding door and dragged the curtains shut, before turning to face the blonde who at this point looked like he’d seen a ghost, and he was looking everywhere but at the person trying to get his attention.

"JianYi?"

"Did I just... were they really... shit."

When he spoke, his voice was trembling, and he found that he could not get the heat on his face to go away, and to make himself feel even worse, he realised that he had an erection in his pants he wasn't even trying to cultivate. Embarrassed beyond belief, JianYi did the only thing he could think to do: he turned and bolted, and Zhan ZhengXi was so caught off guard by that, he failed to react until the door had slammed shut.

—

 

Needless to say, breakfast the following morning was an awkward affair. Other than HeTian, who felt strangely proud of himself, Zhan ZhengXi was busy fuming while Mo GuanShan and JianYi discovered that they couldn't quite look each other in the eye. All of them decided it was best to split up for the day, and that they should cut short their holiday and return home early the following day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been struggling with this chapter for the longest time and I've lost count on the number of times I've re-written it and I did consider just scraping this chapter altogether for the sake of finishing this story in a timely manner, but I figured since I've already written it, I may as well publish it? Maybe someone might appreciate it hahaha. Anyway, feedback and comments at this point in time would be nice? I may end up deleting this anyway after I write the next chapter... who knows?


	11. Chapter 11 - ELEVEN DAYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is all about HeTian and Mo GuanShan.  
> Please don't hate me.

The hour was late, the sun had long set, the new moon had risen high into the night sky, and everything was shrouded in darkness. With the curtains drawn shut, light from the city outside the apartment could barely find its way in. HeTian sat himself in a quiet corner, he had not bothered to turn on the lights. The cold marble floor beneath him contrasted so starkly with the warmth radiating from the cuts that littered his hands.

Should anyone happen to come inside, they would immediately notice that the apartment is in a state of desperate disarray, with everything except the heaviest furniture turned upside down, and anything that can be broken smashed into pieces upon the floor. HeTian himself looked like he had been broken, slummed on the floor with his dead eyes staring at nothing in particular, both his cheeks still wet from the tears that had come pouring down his face.

He couldn't remember the last time he had cried so hard, couldn't recall the last time his heart had felt like it had been ripped from his chest and crushed beneath the sole of someone's shoes. Perhaps it was when his mother had died from heart break at being so cruelly left behind by a husband, his own father, whom she had loved with all her entire heart and soul, a man who had married her for her family's reputation and financial influence, a man who had thought nothing of her. And now it would seem like he would suffer that same fate.

To be honest he hadn't planned on it happening, he had seen what his mother had gone through and was determined never to walk in her shoes. He grew up believing in the idea that love was unnecessary because it was fleeting and fickle and never really lasted. He indulged in flings and short lived affairs, chasing after anyone who took his fancy, not caring if it was a skirt or a pair of pants.

And then he met JianYi, a face so pretty he wanted him for himself, a friend who changed his opinion because of his passion and unwavering loyalty to one person and one person only. And then he crossed paths with a certain red head who tried so desperately to be brave and strong and independent despite his vulnerabilities and the young HeTian discovered for the first time in his life what it was like to be consumed by another person's presence, to be blinded against everything else but that one sole being, to be so willing to do anything to protect just the one, even at the detriment of his own wellbeing.

He had rejected the notion of love but it found its way into his heart anyway. It dragged him into a whirlpool of joy and then of sorrow, leaving him broken, hollow and completely numb.

—

 

Mo GuanShan was upset and wrecked with guilt. Mentally, he poured over the day's events as he sat back in his seat in the lounge of the departure hall, waiting for the gate to his flight to be opened for boarding. Somehow he could no longer convince himself that he had done what was required of him, that it was a necessary step to take, that it was the right thing to do. He sank into his seat a little, drink warming up in his hands barely drunk. He felt his stomach churning, probably out of disgust at his own actions.

The day had started off well, with Mo GuanShan heading out to buy two six packs to share with HeTian. He had planned to sit his friend down and talk it out man to man, like proper adults, with none of the drama that came with the messy break ups of teenage love that they've had multiple times in the past. He'd realised now that he had been the one to initiate each and every one of them, and the guilt just continued to pile on.

He had thought that HeTian would be home early, so he broke into the stash of alcohol, and started one without him. By the time he had received the notification that something had cropped up at work and that HeTian would have to stay out much later than usual, the red head had already finished his share of the beer. When HeTian had finally managed to return, Mo GuanShan had finished everything, and he was so drunk, he could barely stay awake.

"Mo?"

He had come back to an apartment so quiet, he thought his temporary roommate had gone out on his own, but then he encountered a collection of empty beer cans and a sleepy friend lounging right in the midst of it.

"Finally, you're back!"

He smiled his sleepy smile and stretched out his arms, moving to embrace HeTian, though his movements were clumsy and the sober one had to rush over to catch hold of him, just so he did not end up completely falling to the floor.

"Why are you so drunk? Are we celebrating something?"

"Oh yeah, I bought us beer! Though I guess we don't have beer anymore..."

HeTian took a breath and tried not to roll his eyes as he watched GuanShan look forlornly over the mess of empty beer cans on the floor, most of which were kicked over and scattered because of his recent stumble.

"I know! I'll go get more!"

Though before he could move, HeTian had caught hold of him and forcefully got him to sit down on the sofa.

"You're not going anywhere, you're drunk."

"Drunk? No I'm sober as hell. I'm so damn sober I wish I really was drunk."

At that HeTian frowned and sat himself down beside the red head, concern now etched into his brows.

"Mo, what's wrong? Did Something happened?"

"No... yes.. I mean... I don't know?"

"Maybe you should go lie down and get some sleep."

Mo GuanShan allowed himself to be helped into the bedroom, but he refused to lay down, choosing instead to sit at the edge of the bed, he made sure he grab hold of HeTian and got him to stand in front of him, in between his legs, so that when he tilted his head to look up at HeTian, he could easily rest his chin against the other's chest.

"Do you love me Tian?"

The unusual question brought a faint smile to HeTian's lips, who took a moment to brush his fingers into GuanShan's short red locks.

"Of course I do, why do you think I put up with you all these years?"

"That's true. But you know I love you too right?"

HeTian did not answer, he had always doubted his lover's true feelings when he said stuff like that. Not that it mattered, he believed his feelings for Mo GuanShan would not change even if the red head had confessed to hating him, just like he did at the very beginning of their friendship, when HeTian was bent on harassing him because of the short lived feud he had with JianYi.

"Will you allow me to break you one last time?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry Tian, I've always known how much you loved me and I really try, I bloody hell try, I try so damn hard to change myself for you, for us to work, really work, but in the end I know I'm simply lying to myself, I'm not strong like you."

"Mo, what are you trying to..."

HeTian wanted very much to step away, but right at that moment, as if having anticipated it, Mo GuanShan wrapped his arms around HeTian's waist, effectively trapping him in place so he couldn't excuse himself to run away and he had to stay and listen to what he had to say.

"All those years, the sacrifices that you made with your family, the compromises you made with yourself, all for the sake of me. I knew all about it, but it was easier to pretend that I didn't."

"Mo, stop..."

"I fucked up Tian, I fucked up really badly this time, and I don't know how to fix it without hurting you."

HeTian sighed to himself, prying GuanShan's arms away from himself so that he could move away and put himself to sit right next to the other, reaching to pull the man into his embrace, wondering if it might have been better for him to walk away from the situation.

"Tell me what it is this time, I won't judge you."

Silence greeted him, and for a long time after, until HeTian was convinced that he had fallen asleep. Then the voice cut through the quiet, the words formed slowly, clear and crisp, as though he was trying to mask the absence of his sobriety.

"A year ago I met someone, she's from a small town in ShenZhen, we were at the airport in New Zealand, she was having some trouble at customs so I helped her, and then it turns out were were booked at the same hotel and with the same local tour agency, we were even on the same flight back, so after coming home I kept in touch with her. I mean, it was easy enough for me to arrange my shifts so I flew Shen Zhen when I'm duty rotated to doing domestic flights. We remained good friends for a while, and then one drunken night we crossed the line and it turned into something more."

Perhaps out of feelings of self pity, HeTian wanted very much to laugh at himself, having volunteered to listen to such a tale that did little to soothe his aching chest. He knew where this was leading to, and how it was going to end, and he could already picture himself smashing every fragile object he could get a hold of onto the floor to quell that violent urge to hurt something, like an itch at his fingertips he just had to get out.

"So where do I come in Mo?"

He couldn't help that tinge of ice at the edge of his voice, and Mo GuanShan did not blame him, although he was beginning to regret today.

"She knows all about you, I told her very early in that relationship, while it was still in that messy stage and there was enough time for her to back out, though I did not tell her much else, only that you and I were..."

And right there he was stumped, because no matter how many times he had asked himself this question he could never ever come up with a proper answer. They weren't lovers in a conventional relationship, they didn't even fit into the definition of an open relationship because the last time they had broken up they made it a point not to try making it work anymore. They weren't even fuck buddies because it wasn't just meaningless sex either.

"She was willing to turn a blind eye to it, even when things got serious between us. Initially we were both using each other, out of convenience, because her parents were pressuring her to get married, and they kept trying to put her up on blind dates, and my mom, she was thrilled that I finally brought a girl home."

"Of course she would, your mom hates me."

"Can you blame her? She sacrificed so much just to raise me and all she ever wanted in return was for me to grow up healthy, get a good job, get married and have kids. She wants grandchildren Tian, something I can never give her while I'm with you, and although she's loving and accepting enough not to have kick me out of our home while we were together, she could never ever accept you, not because of who you are, but because of what you represent."

"She wants grandkids and you don't want to disappoint her. Don't you realise Mo, that it's the only reason why we've never worked out? Each and every time you've come to break up with me, you may have come up with a different reason, a different excuse, but the real reason has always been her."

"You have stepmoms and you still have your brother to do your family proud, so you might not understand this, but I'm her only child, in fact I'm the only family she has left in this world. Tell me, what kind of son would I be to leave her feeling unhappy and abandoned?"

"And what kind of mother would want her only child to be unhappy?!"

Mo GuanShan pushed himself away, distancing himself from HeTian just as he made all efforts to maintain eye contact. Whatever scathing words that he wanted to hurl at HeTian he forced himself to keep them as thoughts in his mind. There was no sense in letting his anger over HeTian's insult to his mother to derail his ultimate goal of drawing that distinct line between them.

"I'm going to stop you right here, because if we continue this we're just gonna end up fighting and that's not how I want things to end between us."

HeTian got out of bed and walked away to try and reign in his anger, though he chose to remain in the room with GuanShan, choosing to linger by the windowsill so he could stare out at the traffic below.

"You say it like there's an actual something to end."

Mo GuanShan forced himself to get up, even though all he wanted to do now was to curl up in a ball and fall asleep. He was much more sober now, such that he wished there was more alcohol to continue to make his head soar. He took his time, though because the distance was so short, he ended up standing behind HeTian much sooner than he was willing.

"She's pregnant Tian, I'm going to be a father soon. We're making preparations to get married so the child can have a proper family to grow up in. Whatever we've been doing for the past three years, we need to stop, whatever this is that we have between us, it has to end. I'm sorry."

It was like a dam that had broken off when it happened, HeTian feeling his own uncontrollable anger seeping through, and instead of swallowing it back in, he let it out, punching the window enough times that the skin on his knuckles bruised and split, and the glass of the window vibrated, though it did not shatter, those things really only happen in the movies and in fictional books. He turned around, grabbing Mo GuanShan by the shoulders so he did not have the option to back away.

"So tell me, Mo GuanShan, why the hell did you come here for? What are you up to?What is it that you're trying to prove?! You've been here for fucking weeks, why the FUCK did you wait until NOW?! When you're due to leave tomorrow to tell me all these FUCKING BULLSHIT EXCUSES OF YOURS?! Or is this your idea of fun? Fucking with my head like that, YOU THINK THAT'S FUN?!"

HeTian shoved him then, and if not for the bed getting in the way, breaking his fall, the red head would have ended up on the hardwood floor. He was very well aware of HeTian climbing on top of him after he tried to re-orientate himself, and the long fingers that found their way around his neck made him much more anxious than the earlier outburst of anger.

"Fifteen years Mo! Fifteen FUCKING YEARS! That's how long you've strung me along, and I let you! I let you because I was so blinded by the fact that I was so in love with you! I was willing to put up with all your whims, let you hurt me over and over, break my heart and just fucking break me again and again! I let you leave me in ruins because of all those fleeting moments in time when you let me see that you were capable of showing that you cared about me above everyone else... I was willing to believe that they were worth having to sit through all that pain you caused me, because you always came crawling back to me and forced me to convince myself that you're not that toxic little shit that you are."

HeTian was staring at his own hands wrapped around that slender neck, willing himself not to squeeze the life out of it despite his own rage. It would have been an easy thing to do, and the consequences of it would be minimal, since he knew his brother would have the means to take care of it and make it go away like as though nothing had happened. What was that saying? If I can't have you then no one else can?

"Is this all just a game to you Mo? Do you enjoy watching me struggle under your thumb? You could've ended this years ago but no, you kept coming back, you keep giving me hope and then taking it away. I'VE HAD IT!"

His vision was clouding up, but he didn't care about the pool of tears that threatened to fall. He tightened his grip just a little bit more, watching as GuanShan started to struggle against him.

Mo GuanShan was really beginning to panic, knowing that he was much weaker than HeTian, he wouldn't be able to fight him off if HeTian had suddenly decided that he should just strangle him to death after all. He felt the pain in his lungs as they fought for air, saw his vision blurring to a point where he might pass out and he desperately kicked out his legs in the hopes that a blow would land and he could free himself.

Then it was over. HeTian had stopped and removed himself so abruptly, there was a momentary feeling of coldness running through Mo GuanShan before he forced himself to sit up, coughing and gasping for air, a shiver running through him as the panic and fear continued to grip him.

"I want you to leave."

HeTian had his back towards GuanShan, as if facing him would soften his resolve.

"And I want you to know that if you ever come back for whatever reason I will not welcome you anymore."

"Tian..."

It took effort just to speak, his voice coming out sounding hoarse, like he had a cold.

"Don't hate me."

He waited, willing HeTian to turn around, to acknowledge and say something, because he was selfish, and he wanted to have his cake and eat it too, and he knew if HeTian could spare the moment to turn around then all was not yet lost.

"Don't bother inviting me for the wedding, I won't go."

HeTian left the room, sparing not even a glance back, and a moment later Mo GuanShan heard the main door open and slammed shut.

—

 

"Quit staring Xi, these girls are mine, if that one next to you doesn't suit your taste, they can always bring in others."

The two men were in a private room in a very famous and very exclusive club in down town Shanghai, cigarette smoke wafting through the air vents despite the numerous no smoking signs posted throughout the establishment.

Zhan ZhengXi blatantly ignored the petite little hostess girl posted by his side, trying to get him to drink. He stared intensely at his friend, a deep frown furrowing between his brows as HeTian slammed the now empty shot glass down on the table, not even bothered by the thought that the glass surface of that very table might break. He stuck the cigarette between his lips, a unique blend of tobacco, marijuana and something else he couldn't be bothered to remember, and leaned back against the plush sofa, his arms stretching to accommodate the two working girls flanking his sides, giggling like crazy, because obviously they've struck gold.

"Hey, why don't all you babes take off your tops for my gentleman friend over here? I'll give you each a thousand Yuan for your trouble."

HeTian reached into his jacket and pulled out a wad of crisp new notes, flashing it proudly as he unclipped and fanned it out. The laughter that bubbled out of him at seeing how quickly the girls scrambled to strip themselves half naked was filled with a sort of cynicism his friend instantly picked up on.

"What are you doing?"

"You see the reason why this club is so exclusive and so hard to get into if you're not filthy rich or shit famous is because they let you do just about anything here. Drugs, whores, some other black market dealings, sometimes you walk in at three in the morning and there'll be a group having an orgy right on the dance floor while everyone watches like it's just something that people do."

He fondled the bare breasts on display as if to prove a point and Zhan ZhengXi had to fight that urge to roll his eyes out of exasperation.

"Oh I know... I'll give you another thousand to show me what's under that skirt of yours, and th--"

"JianYi told me what happened, he called Mo after you disappeared."

It sickened ZhengXi to think that he was used to HeTian's unusual form of dealing with heartbreak, and he was genuinely pissed off by the fact that their mutual friend was the one to break this man's heart yet again, without remorse, and without regard to the mess that he had to help clean up while that selfish red head continued on with his life as though he was not the one who did it.

"I don't give a fuck about what you heard, and tell that girlfriend of yours to mind his own damn business."

"Will you at least stop harassing the girls?"

HeTian held both his hands up to show that he was innocent, that the half naked girl with the firm boobs now climbing into his lap wasn't his fault.

"Alright, you called me out to drink, so drink! You barely touched your glass since we got here, try to keep up."

"Why didn't you tell me that Ah Shan was planning on getting married? Is this why you're acting out?"

Zhan ZhengXi barely flinched as the glass shot past his head, missing his face by mere inches. It broke into several pieces when it landed on the wall behind him. The action caused the girl by his side to panic and scream as whiskey that hadn't been consumed poured out of the glass and all over bare skin and what's left of her outfit in the process. She fumed when no one bothered to give her any attention, said a few harsh words and left the room.

"Tone it down, you're scaring people."

"Fuck you Zhan ZhengXi!"

He shoved the girl in his lap rather unceremoniously onto the floor, earning a pitiful sob from her (not that HeTian actually cared if she was hurt in the process), and Zhan ZhengXi used the opportunity to signal for the two remaining girls to leave the room.

"Fuck me? Please, I know I'm definitely not your type."

"If I bend you over, it's all the same, I don't need you to be my type Zhan XiXi."

The brunette blinked, then raised and brow and momentarily glanced at the ceiling, as though he was trying to picture in his mind what that would look like and how it would play out in real life. Then he snorted and shook his head, reaching out for his glass like he was giving in to HeTian's relentless request to drink.

"I didn't come all the way to Shanghai just because I missed seeing our ugly face Tian, and if you're not gonna talk about Mo, then at least tell me what you're doing all the way out here, and why did you trash your apartment before leaving Beijing?"

"You've been there? Did you like what I did what the place? Really brings out the colour of the wallpaper doesn't it?"

"JianYi is worried about you."

"Why? He's not my girlfriend."

"You disappeared for a week, no calls, no messages..."

"Again, not my girlfriend."

"He thinks of you as a friend HeTian."

HeTian let out a loud, exaggerated sigh and then rolled his eyes like he was sick of having such a predictable conversation. He reached deep into his pocket and pulled out a transparent little bag of colourful pills, stared at it for a while, then threw it on the glass table while he took one last puff of his cigarette, taking the chance to exhale the smoke right into ZhengXi's disapproving face.

"You fucked him yet?"

"What?"

"I'm talking about JianYi, been sleeping in your bed like a rescued dog for months, been your boyfriend for however many days. Have. You. Fucked. Him. Yet?"

He ended that sentence with an exasperated look, starting to feel annoyed that he had to explain himself so much to a person who had known him for years and should already be able to complete his sentences by right.

"Stop changing the topi-"

"I fucked Mo the very same night he agreed to be mine. This was way back in high school and we were smack in the middle of our exams and I had gone over to his crappy little apartment to help him with his English. We did it exactly four times, through the entire night in his tiny little bed, trying not to make a sound cause the walls were so thin. How is it that you haven't already fucked that gorgeous little piece of ass to death?"

HeTian got up, stepped away from the sofa and towards the one where his friend was now sitting on, two glasses in hand and a mischievous smile playing on his lips. When he sat himself down, it was in the lap of his long time friend, who did not do anything in protest, partly because the other had grown used to this sort of behaviour.

"Drink."

He handed the glass over and looked on expectantly until ZhengXi had obediently emptied it, after which he tossed back his own, took the two empty glasses and casually allowed both to slid with a loud thud onto the carpeted floor. Then he grabbed Zhan ZhengXi by the face, a strong hand over the jawline so he could not look away.

"Swallow."

He had managed to coax ZhengXi into opening his mouth before he stuck two fingers in, placing a pill he had previously palmed onto the back of the brunette's tongue.

"What is it?"

Zhan ZhengXi wasn't as obedient this round and it made HeTian frown a little. He leaned in close, hand still on his friend's jaw, then he kissed him, using the initial shock of the action to force his tongue down ZhengXi's throat. He pulled away only when he was sure the other had swallowed the mystery pill, the grin on his face reflecting his mirth.

"You'll know what it is when it kicks in."

HeTian knew it wouldn't take too long, the alcohol already coursing through his bloodstream would have helped the drug kick in a lot sooner. Risking a likely cramp in his legs with the way he sat himself on Zhan ZhengXi's lap, HeTian chose to remain seated the way he was, wanting to know immediately when the effects of the little pill started taking over.

When it did it was subtle but obvious. His breath quickened and his eyes looked like they were glazed over, not knowing where to focus, he grabbed a hold of HeTian by his shoulders, pulling him so much closer as he stared at those pink lips, his tongue darting out to lick at his own.

Sexual arousal was a happy side effect HeTian had taken notice of years ago during that one New Year's eve when he first decided to trick his normally straight-laced friend into consuming that same happy little pill. Until then HeTian had never once thought that they would ever be in a situation involving dirty moans and entangled, sweaty limbs, but the sex they shared that night counts as one of the wildest he's ever had.

The brunette suddenly found himself trying to resist the allure of the pleasure to be had if he just gave in and allowed his long time friend to do whatever he wanted, for there was some small little thing practically gnawing at the back of his mind, warning him not to.

"Nonono, I can't Tian, I..."

His words cut off as he shuddered in reaction to the one above him grinding so sinfully slow against his unmistakably rock hard erection, so painfully confined within his tight jeans. He could feel the blush rushing up along with his blood to the surface of his skin. The fact that his body wanted it this badly made him slightly angry at himself.

"Of course you can, just relax, you'll enjoy it."

"But... with JianYi, I'm-"

"Oh? What's the matter Zhan ZhengXi? Can't do this cause you're dating someone now? Don't start pretending you have any morals when you've cheated on so many of your ex-girlfriends with me."

ZhengXi made a weak attempt to shove HeTian away in anger, though his mind was soaring now, it took a great deal of effort just to have a clear thought in his mind. HeTian could only laugh, leaning in close, he grabbed hold of the brunette by the neck and pushed so that he laid flat on his back along the seat of the sofa.

"That anger you're feeling now is because you know I'm right, JianYi is no different from all those other girls."

"Fuck you."

Forget about coherent thoughts, it was the only thing he could think of to say in response, and HeTian answered the retort by smashing their lips together in a bruising kiss, with biting and tongue fighting. There was nothing romantic or anything gentle to be had between them, it was always a show of dominance, like two cocks fighting in a betting ring. Eventually they pulled away, warm breaths mixing as they panted for air, defiance clearly in HeTian's eyes whilst ZhengXi looked like he was rightfully pissed.

"Stop looking like I ran my car over your dog."

There were lines that HeTian was willing to cross to get whatever he wanted, destroying a long lasting friendship evidently wasn't one of them as he peeled himself off Zhan ZhengXi and sank himself to the dirty carpet, running a hand through his hair in a show of disappointment that still he couldn't get what he wanted despite all the wealth he had.

"I'm horny as fuck right now and it's your fault, I wish you ran over my dog instead."

"I offered to help! I can still help."

"Don't, I'll be fine once I sober up."

He closed his eyes and shifted himself to turn his back towards HeTian while the latter decided to pour himself another glass and then smoke another joint. Time passed where neither said anything to the other, they both listened to the sounds of the club filtering through the walls, all muffled and surreal, HeTian thought that Zhan ZhengXi must have fallen asleep until he spoke up.

“You should’ve come to me.”

“How could I? You finally got yourself into a new relationship.”

“Don’t use JianYi as your excuse.”

“You know me.’

“It’s precisely because I do that you should have come to me instead of running away to hide in this shit hole.”

HeTian tossed the bud into the ashtray, not bothering to snuff it out beforehand.

"If you really know me, you'd understand why."

Zhan ZhengXi shifted himself to turn around then, still feeling too high to sit up, lest his head started swimming again.

"I don't, never did, never do, and probably never will. We go through this whole cycle each and every time. If you had any other friends, they would've all given up by now."

"I'm sorry."

The brunette blinked, seemingly unable to comprehend the words that just came out of HeTian's mouth. He narrowed his eyes and stared hard at the head of black hair, trying not to think about how amazing it would feel to run his fingers into those soft locks in his current state of mind.

"Mo said you tried to choke him, looked like you seriously considered murder."

Silence greeted him, HeTian couldn't even make the effort to deny the charge. He reached out, took another cigarette and lighted it, determined to chain smoke his stash away.

"You know the one thing Mo always does that completely gets me undone? He comes back. He always comes back. Then, no matter how much hate I have inside of me, it just disappears,"

He snapped his fingers.

"Just like that. I forgive him no matter how much he's hurt me. Like he could do no wrong. I didn't want that, so I had a thought, that it would be impossible for a dead person to come back."

His words trailed off to another bout of silence, with Zhan ZhengXi wondering how best to respond.

"You love him that much huh..."

"I wish I didn't."

Zhan ZhengXi didn't have a response to that, so he chose instead to close his eyes and let the muffled sounds of the club take over their aural senses. They didn't do much else for an entire hour after that, with HeTian lost to his thoughts while ZhengXi tried his best to sober up without letting himself fall asleep. Eventually he sat himself up and proceeded to gulp down a jug of water before he stood up on wobbly feet.

"We're going to your hotel, I hate this place."

And then he walked out, blindly trusting that his friend would obediently follow him out. 


	12. Chapter twelve - TWELVE DAYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying my hand at exploring different character relationships so this chapter is a little different.

"I'm sure he had a good reason."

JianYi switched the phone from one ear to another as he made his way across the road, lights already blinking fast, warning pedestrians that they had a limited time left to make their way back to safety.

It had been over three weeks since HeTian's sudden disappearance, leaving a wreckage of broken things in his apartment as the only cryptic clue to what had happened, two weeks since he convinced his boyfriend to make the trip to ShangHai to make sure their friend didn't do anything overly stupid. JianYi had started to wonder if maybe he should make the trip himself to get everyone back home.

"Yeah, that's what I try to tell myself to make it easier to swallow, but trust me when I tell you, and I know this through experience because I've gone through this so many times that I lost count, that no matter how nice Mo seems to be on the outside, deep down he's a selfish and manipulative jerk."

"You sure you're not just saying this because HeTian's your best friend and you're feeling obligated to side with him on this?"

"Maybe."

"When are you coming back? You're not using this as an excuse to go on a vacation are you?"

"...Maybe?"

"Do I need to make a trip there to fetch you back?"

"Good idea, take the train down, it'll only take you maybe four or five hours?"

"Honestly, is he holding you hostage?"

"HeTian has this... habit? This routine that he'll go through to get over his heart break. Right now I'd say we're heading to the tail end of it, so... we'll probably be back next week?"

"Alright, I'm almost there so I'm gonna hang up now. You take care of yourself okay? Stay out of trouble."

"I'll make it up to you once I'm home, promise."

JianYi hung up on their conversation, pocketed the device and looked around as he got into the terminal, trying to pick out a familiar figure amongst the crowds milling about at the airport.

"Sorry to make you come all this way."

"You look like the dead, you okay?"

Mo GuanShan made a face at the observation, removed the baseball cap he had on, then ruffled his dull red hair before putting the cap back on reverse.

"I haven't been able to sleep well since... this time ended up a lot worse than any of the ones before, but maybe it was for the best."

They ended up in a quaint little cafe at the fringe of the airport, surrounded by tables of tired travellers all trying to get a shot of caffeine or a place to kill time before a flight. JianYi discovered that his friend hadn't said much, and he was trying to avoid eye contact whenever possible. He smiled softly, having a good idea of how the other must be feeling to be behaving this way.

"Before we start, you should know that Ah Xi has filled me in on everything there is to know about what happened with you and HeTian, and while it is tempting, I'm not going to take any sides on this because we're all friends here. It wouldn't be fair to you if I took his side before you had your chance to tell me your version of it."

"ZhengXi won't take my call. I had thought you'd do the same."

The blonde shrugged, picked up the teaspoon and dipped it into his cappuccino, destroying that perfect foam art while he stirred in some sugar.

"He's mad at you because you kicked up a storm and left him to clean up your mess. I would be too if you did that to me. You know what happened after you left?"

Mo GuanShan shook his head, still finding it difficult to look his friend in the eye.

"I didn't want to call Tian, ZhengXi didn't want to pick up."

"HeTian didn't show up to work for days, he just up and disappeared and went radio silent. We couldn't find him anywhere, and his apartment was trashed, as in everything in it was smashed and broken, all the furniture overturned, there was even blood on the floor. It looked really bad. Then ZhengXi had the idea to contact Tian's brother. By then I had a guess to what might had happened, so I called you. What exactly did you say to him?"

"I broke his heart, told him we can never be together, because I'm leaving him for a woman I don't really love and marrying her because I got her pregnant. But I'm sure you already know that."

"You don't have to be so defensive, I'm not here to judge you alright?"

They both frowned, then decided to bide the time by drinking their coffees.

"When's the wedding?"

"Two month, we're doing it before her belly really starts to show. It'll be a small ceremony, we don't have many relatives or friends."

"Are we invited?"

"Yes, but will you come?"

"If it's not too far I can take a train. I can probably convince ZhengXi to come, but HeTian would require a quantum heap of effort that I do not possess."

The red head managed a smile, but there was just so much regret weighing down on him that JianYi felt sorry for him.

"This too shall pass."

"What?"

"It's an old saying, my grandpa used to say it to me all the time as a child. Whenever things weren't going my way or I've had a bad day or dealing with a bad situation. He would say, Xiao Yi, a solution will come to you with time, and this too shall pass. To his credit, he was never wrong."

They exchanged small talk and filled up the silence between them with meaningless conversation for a while, though eventually they still circled back to the main topic, which neither found they could avoid.

"I need to ask you for a favour. You don't have to agree to it if you're not comfortable with it."

JianYi had finished his coffee by then, and he asked for a glass of water, giving GuanShan a questioning look. He didn't like it when people asked him for favours without first telling him what was needed of him. It felt too much like a trap, or a trick question, that he was obligated to help whether he wanted to or not.

"What is it?"

"I'm worried about HeTian, but I don't think I should be contacting him anymore, for now at least."

"Don't tell me. You want me to spy on him for you? Keep watch over him? Take care of him if necessary? Give you periodic updates so you don't start wondering if he's still alive, or possibly dead?"

JianYi had meant it as a joke, said it to tease the other, though unexpectedly, he found GuanShan nodding his head and actually saying yes, causing the blonde to momentarily lose his tongue.

"Between the two of you, you probably have enough material to produce a soap opera. Look, I'm not against helping you, but ZhengXi doesn't want me to get involved, so this is something you'll have to sort it out yourself."

"I wouldn't ask you if I had a choice."

"I know that, which is why I'll agree to do this for you, despite being explicitly told not to, at least until the wedding."

"JianYi, thank you, and I'm sorry."

"Please save that apology for Ah Xi, you're going to need to."

—

 

In the end, Zhan ZhengXi had to settle for returning home all by himself, without the man he had been so determined to bring back, because he had begun to run out of vacation days, and unlike HeTian, he did not have the privilege of owning the institution he earned his wages at. What he did not do was to tell JianYi that he was returning, thinking that it would serve as a pleasant surprise, although now at his front door, tired from his journey, he wondered if it was such a great idea. What if JianYi hated surprises?

He hovered at the door, attempting to think up convincing excuses to why he chose not to call, for just in case he needed it, and before he could comprehend it, the door had opened up and there was his boyfriend, all fresh and radiant and clearly on his way to to his job. He took a moment to admire that pretty face he hadn't seen in weeks, taking in the shocked expression before compulsion overcame him.

The last thing that JianYi had expected to see when he opened up the front door was the person he had sorely missed. His mind had gone blank for a moment, even momentarily questioning the apparent illusion before Zhan ZhengXi had him stepping back into their home. The door shut itself, locking them both in the privacy of the apartment at the same time JianYi found himself being pushed against the wall, trapped into place by Zhan ZhengXi's arms and the weight of his body as whatever bags they were both holding got carelessly thrown onto the floor. Those lips descended upon his own so that he could not speak, and the kiss their shared was one that toed the line of desperation and need.

The brunette was ready to devour the blonde, with tongue reaching over to taste every bit of that mouth, his hands holding the other in place as though he might attempt to flee. JianYi was the one to break the kiss, after what felt to him was an extremely long time when in fact barely a minute had gone by.

"You're back?"

It was hardly a whisper, his breathlessness coupled with his flushing cheeks prompting Zhan ZhengXi to close the distance once more to steal a kiss from the boy. Those hands that had kept him in place now detached themselves to roam further south, down along the spine until they came to rest upon JianYi's buttocks. By then his lips had strayed over to JianYi's neck, his teeth digging in to worry the beginnings of a bruise on the skin, before he squeezed that ass in his hands and drew those hips in against his own in an unmistakable grinding motion. An audible gasp, an expression of surprise as JianYi's eyes flew open at the realisation that ZhengXi was rock hard and erect.

"Xi?"

JianYi couldn't think, he was flushing so hard he could feel the heat radiating off his face, and the repeated grinding of their hips, and knowing just how sexually aroused ZhengXi, and now also himself was made his head swim. He gently pushed the other away, keeping his arms stretched out to force some distance between them in an attempt to stop the natural progression of what would inevitably happen if they continued with their heavy petting,

"ZhengXi what's gotten into..."

"I'm sorry Yi, I really wanna fuck you right now."

The sight of his boyfriend, hungry with desire for him was enough to shut him up. He wasn't sure what to make of it, but allowed himself to be lead further into the apartment. They stopped where the sofa stood, and ZhengXi guided JianYi to lay down, believing himself that the task of making it to their shared bed would be too difficult to accomplish at this point. He pinned the blonde down, again stealing kisses from the boy who realised that articles of clothing were beginning to loosen in preparation to be tossed away.

The cool air of the unheated apartment touched exposed skin and JianYi shivered. He had a lot of questions now and he wanted answers, but he could tell the brunette wasn't in the mood for that, more interested was he in trying to get him naked, he seemed even desperate.

"I have to get to work, I'm gonna be late."

It was an excuse, one that JianYi hoped would get his boyfriend to give pause and reconsider his decision this morning, though it was obvious he didn't care for such a detail. ZhengXi wanted release, and he needed it to be now, hands searching for naked skin warm to the touch. It was not as if JianYi had no sexual desire for the one on top of him, that thought came across his mind countless of times ever since that kiss they shared in the dark on the peak of that mountain, and he wanted it just as badly, but not like this, sloppy and meaningless, like the process of taking a fart, something to be over and done with. At risk of sounding like a girl about it, he wanted their first time to be something special, they should be taking their time trying to get to know every inch of each other's skin. He forced an arm's length distance between them, noting the subtle annoyance creeping onto those handsome features.

"ZhengXi."

"Your job can wait, Tian isn't going to fire you just because you were late an hour or two."

He had managed to find his way down to the underwear and relish the gasp that escaped the blond as he wrapped his long fingers around the erected organ. He felt like he couldn't wait anymore, and it was driving him insane that JianYi seem to be stalling for time. Deep down he was at least a bit aware that the time spent constantly around HeTian had changed him, that he was doing something very uncharacteristic of his usual self, but that was the catalytic effect that HeTian had on the people he allowed to spend their time with him.

JianYi certainly wasn't used to this behaviour, though he was no stranger to it, and as ZhengXi continued to persist, there began suddenly an unknown sense of dread bubbling in the pit of his stomach, a kind of panic he couldn't explain that started out small at first, then kept on growing. He tried to fight it off by ignoring it, he couldn't trust himself if it took root.

"No, XiXi..."

Another kiss to cut him off, preventing him from speaking anymore. He was helpless, yet painfully aware that his body was behaving in a way that did not reflect the thoughts erupting in his head. He was certain he didn't want this, but his body responded well to every single touch, it was almost as though he had lost all control.

Of course Zhan ZhengXi didn't notice, he was focused on his own need, and the boy did not show reluctance beyond those few discouraging words. He stroked the length in his hand, teasing the muscle with a skilled touch whilst his free hand caught hold of JianYi by the wrists, pinning the arms of the blonde against the fabric of the sofa, perhaps tired of being pushed away. He buried his own face in the crook of JianYi's neck, taking in the fresh vanilla scent still lingering from an early morning shower.

It was now getting difficult for JianYi to remain calm. He closed his eyes, tried to ignore the fact that he was. against his will, painfully aroused, and how he was pinned down so that he could barely move without using strength. What he got for his trouble was the emergence of an old memory he had done his best to suppress, the image of yellow eyes and a mess of silver hair, coupled with the imagined sound of mocking laughter, and words he never wished to hear.

"GET OFF ME!"

It felt like a slap in the face to Zhan ZhengXi, and he immediately stopped himself and clumsily backed off while trying not to fall off the sofa. His arousal shrivelled up in that instance, and what replaced it was utter confusion over what he might have done wrong. He couldn't even find the words to begin asking.

JianYi didn't realised what he had screamed out loud until he heard it from his mouth, his eyes were wide open at the shock of his own outburst, and it was then that he realised that tears were pouring out of them, so he turned his face away, and brought his arms closer to himself, hoping his skinny limbs and long locks could hide him and that ZhengXi would be too angry to notice.

For a long, tensed minute, no one did or said anything, both of them afraid to make a wrong move, or to speak words that might worsen the situation. After what felt to him like an eternity had gone by, Zhan ZhengXi gathered up the remnants of his dignity and moved from his awkward position. He made his approach to JianYi as gently as possibly, like the latter was some sort of injured and cornered beast.

"JianYi?"

He reached out in an attempt to pry those arms away, then thought better of it and settled for smoothing down the golden locks he had grown so fond of. He wasn't the least bit surprised when the blonde ignored his attempts to communicate, but he was disturbed to find that JianYi was shaking as though in fear. He couldn't rationalise such a behaviour.

"JianYi I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... will you tell me what I did wrong?"

But the boy simply shook his head and tried to curl up. He wanted to disappear, unable to decide if he was horrified about what had transpired between them, or embarrassed at himself, or angry at the ghost that came back to haunt him. He finally settled on it being a little bit of everything, and wished he had made it a point to leave for work a little earlier than usual that morning, and avoided meeting ZhengXi altogether.

"Don't shut me out JianYi, please?"

He received a bit of a shock when JianYi decided to sit up without warning, only to bury his face in his knees, mumbling into himself for the other person to go away and leave him be.

"I'm not going anywhere, I won't, not until I see that you're okay. Just let me see your face Yi, I promise I'm not going to do anything to you."

Nothing happened after that, so Zhan ZhengXi took a calculated risk to reach out to his boyfriend and pull him into his embrace, hoping such a gesture would serve to make the boy feel safe. He didn't dare to be reckless and try and guess what it was that might have happened, he knew himself, that it would only lead to unnecessary conclusions. So he bide his time, and waited, and eventually JianYi turned himself to face him, though the former took every precaution to avoid meeting eyes with him.

"What happened? Was it something I did?"

"No! I just... you just... just..."

He turned his attention to the clock on the wall.

"I should go, I'm going to be very late. There's this meeting and... yeah."

He peeled himself away from those arms still around him, then redressed his clothes while ZhengXi debated in his head over the merit of pursuing the matter while JianYi clearly didn't wish to confront.

"I'll ask again, was it something I did?"

Their eyes met for brief moment, and the brunette knew he was not going to get any answers today, so he sighed softly, got onto his feet and proceeded to give the other an innocuous hug.

"I understand, I'll wait until you're ready."

After JianYi left the apartment, Zhan ZhengXi began to feel sick. Instead of a shower and a short nap like he had planned, he instead spent the next few hours pouring over the events in his head, trying to figure out just why it all went so horridly wrong.

—

 

She had done this routined visit for nearly twenty years, the first day of every other calendar month, much like clockwork, always getting off the same bus at the same stop, always walking past those same landmarks to get to the grey, lifeless building at the very end of it, and always at the same time, as though doing anything other than that would displease the gods and bring calamity to the land.

Rain or shine, in the heat of the summer, or the cold of winter, she would politely greet the guards, who would be rotated out ever so often that she constantly had to build a new rapport with each visit. She waited as they go through her bags, searching through all her possessions, checking to make sure that nothing was contraband. Then she registered her identity as a visitor, exchanging the precious card sized document for a temporary pass.

She allowed herself to be escorted, even though she knew the way by heart now, mostly because they wouldn't allow her to wander about the corridors unaccompanied. Eventually they led her to a room that was dreadfully bare except for the necessary tables and chairs, none of which were provided with comfort of the user in mind. Many were old, rusty and creaked in protest when in use.

"Please wait here Mrs Mo, your husband will be here shortly."

She nodded her head to show she understood, softly said her thanks as the escort went to stand in a corner of the not so wide space, then sat herself down to wait. Sometimes her husband would come out immediately, often times they would make her wait a long time, and occasionally, she would not even get the chance to see him due to unforeseen circumstances beyond anyone's control. Today was one of those good days, because her butt had barely begin to feel the hardness of the uncomfortable chair when her husband showed up in his best prison dress (or so she was told).

"You look well."

"I've been well."

They always started off their visits with the same lines, those same few words, as though they sought comfort through familiarity, or perhaps they've spent so many years married but apart that they did not wish to admit that they were like strangers to each other anymore,

"I've brought you the steam cakes you asked for last visit."

"Thank you."

He reached out to hold her hands, caressing the skin that had begun to show just how much time has passed for the both of them, and that none of it had been kind to her.

"I'll be out of here before the new year, then you won't have to come into this dreadful place anymore."

"Mo, do you still remember what you told me when you asked for my hand in marriage?"

A deviation from their routine, though it was to be expected. His twenty year jail sentence was drawing to a close, emotions were high, uncertainties were abound, and expectations were aplenty.

"I know I haven't kept my promises to you, and I'm sorry."

"Your promises, what were they?"

There was nothing menacing about her question, she wasn't accusing, or angry, there was nothing in her voice that betrayed how she felt. It was like she was asking an innocent question, despite the nature of it, and it made the man feel very small.

"I made you a promise to give you a good life, that I'd do all the hard work so you wouldn't have to."

"You made a similar promise when our little Shan was born, do you remember?"

"Yes I... I promised to give him a good life, that I'd protect him from anything, and everything."

"Then do you know how many birthdays you have missed? How many new year reunions, school events, graduations?"

"Honey I know it's not an excuse, but I took the rap and made the plea bargain because it was what I had to do to keep the both of you safe. They would never have left you alone if I gave them up, and they would still have found a way to drag me in here."

"I know that."

"Then why?"

"I need to know you still remember your promises, because your son is getting married, and you'll soon become a grandfather."

He was expecting a request for divorce, instead he received good news. For a moment, he didn't know how to react, and then he lunged himself forward across the table to hug his wife, earning himself the attention of armed guards, and a stern warning for all his trouble.

"No no you don't understand, I'm going to be a grandfather! Me! A grandfather!"

He was elated, but still he had to rein himself in if he wanted to keep his privileges within the prison system.

"When will I get to meet her?"

"I will never bring her here. I haven't told her, and certainly have no intention to."

"Surely Shan would hav-"

"No. I made sure of it. She's a good girl, from a decent background, there is no need for her to know."

"Oh, right, I'm sorry, I guess I got carried away."

It hurt, but he understood. Bring in prison wasn't something to be proud of, no matter the reason. It was the same principle his wife had set up that had prevented him from seeing his own son until he was well into his teens, and even after that he seldom got the chance. It was a different sort of punishment, one that was designed to make sure he regretted his life choices for as long as he was stuck within these walls.

"She's well into her pregnancy, so you will miss the wedding, as well as the birth. I'm not trying to be cruel, but I hope you'll reflect on that."

—

 

Zhan ZiQian made her way through the lunch time crowd with relative ease, having long grown accustomed to the constant flow of human traffic typical of such a big city. She risked a quick glance at her phone while still walking at a steady pace, double checking the name of the restaurant and the associated address, looking up just in time to avoid bumping into a pair of tourists who were obviously lost and had abruptly stopped walking. She side-stepped the couple, only to get into the path of someone else, earning herself unwarranted dirty looks and soft mutterings accusing her of apparently not looking where she walked.

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to not let the experience spoil her mood for the rest of the day, she carried on along the path, and eventually stepped away from the flow and entered into a casual dining place selling some weird neo fusion cuisine that seemed all the rage these days, though she never really understood why, since everything tasted a little bit off to her, she was the type who appreciated Chinese food the way Chinese food have been cooked for decades, no need to reinvent the wheel, though admittedly there were exceptions here and there.

She walked all the way in and headed for the back of the place, knowing fairly well that she was late, and that the one who invited her to lunch preferred a seat in the back of any establishment. It took her two glances to spot the right mess of hair and made the approach, sitting herself down opposite of him without so much as a greeting or an excuse for her tardiness.

He took a while to peel his eyes away from the screen of his phone, knowing she wouldn't mind if he took the time to finish fighting the opponent in his mobile game. He had already ordered for himself, now he waited for her to do the same and for the waiter to walk away.

"You look well."

There was just a hint of amusement in her eyes as she sat there with her arms crossed over her chest. She stared across the table at him, unable to deconstruct the audacity of those three simple words that had just been spoken to her.

"Haven't heard a peep from you in months, imagine my surprise to find you're actually alive and well!"

He had the sense to look embarrassed as he listened to his little sister's words that were practically swimming in sarcasm.

"I know, I know, I've just been a bit busy lately, I'm sorry."

"You should be telling that to Mom and Dad. I've been covering for you all these months when I should have left you out to dry."

"How's Mom?"

"Why don't you call her and ask her yourself? Seriously, she has a number you can call, a phone you can send voice messages, text messages to. You're the older sibling here, so act like one, don't make me do it for you."

"Well I..."

"I went back last month for a visit."

Zhan ZiQian stared hard at Zhan ZhengXi, as if trying to see if there was any guilt to be seen on his face.

"She asked me why you weren't with me."

"You..."

"I don't enjoy lying to her Brother."

"I'm sorry ZiQian, I'll call her."

"Do it now."

"What?"

"Use your phone, give Mom a call now. Our food won't be here for a while so you've got time. I'll wait."

He could tell she wasn't kidding, so instead of arguing against it, he reached for his phone and dialled the number that eventually connected him to a woman who was angry yet happy at the same time. They spent the next ten minutes exchanging words, with ZhengXi promising to make a visit soon before he finally hung up to find that their food had just arrived. She allowed the silence between them to settle while they placed spoonfuls of food into their empty bellies.

"Is he still staying at your place?"

He knew this question was coming, just like he knew he would receive an earful from her about his recent lack of communication the minute he decided to call her and invite her to lunch.

"Are you talking about JianYi?"

"Who else would I be talking about?"

A memory popped up in her head, of a blonde boy wearing the same school uniform as her brother who used to come over to the family house uninvited, a boy who would always monopolise his brother's time at the house over school vacations. She looked at him, eyes scrutinising that face. Then she frowned, having realised one thing.

"He hasn't left?"

"ZiQian."

"It's been over six months! How long exactly are you letting this stranger sponge off you?"

"ZiQian."

"I mean come on, at this point he's just taking advantage of you isn't he? I know he looks like him and everything, but-"

"ZiQian!"

"What? Don't you come telling me that my opinion don't matter. I'm your sister, not some outsider and if--"

"JianYi isn't a stranger. He's not a cheat. He can stay as long as he wants, not because your opinion doesn't matter dear Sister, but because I'm dating him now. JianYi is my--"

"Don't say it."

She knew she had a look of horror upon her face and she didn't care, though neither did he.

"He's my boyfriend now."

The silence that followed that bold announcement was deafening as well as suffocating. She watched as he bent his head down to finish what remained of his meal, while she had completely lost her appetite. She understood why he had chosen a public setting to meet. Behind closed doors, she would already be shouting at him.

"Are you out of your mind Brother?"

"It was my decision, I asked him to be in a relationship, and it wasn't done on a whim, so don't go thinking that."

"Then clearly you haven't thought it through."

He sat down his chopsticks, pushed his bowl away, then leaned back against his chair, crossing his arms like as if he subconsciously felt the need to protect himself.

"If you have something to say then say it."

"I don't support your choice. What is Mom going to say about this? And Dad? Even if they give you their approval then what about your job? Have you thought about that? You work for the university, you're employed by our government, you really think they're going to turn a blind eye to this once they find out? You're putting your career at risk for what? A summer romance? I thought you were smarter than this."

He had had this debate with himself before, but hearing out loud in a voice other than his own stung a little.

"I would think that as my sister, you would know me well enough to believe that I didn't make this decision lightly."

"Right, at the end of the day it doesn't matter what I think, you're just trying to seek validation, so why even bother when you already know what my response is going to be?"

"My sister used to be cuter."

"My brother used to make smart decisions."

There was a time when he might have enjoyed bickering with her, but those times have gotten less and less as they both got on with the years.

"ZiQian, I didn't ask you to come here so we could argue."

"Oh, you think I enjoy fighting you? I'm not doing this on purpose Brother, I really shouldn't even have to."

He didn't have a response that wasn't scathing and hurtful and would only make the situation worse, so he said nothing. Having the last say wasn't worth a breaking an already fragile relationship. The sister noticed that so she stopped talking as well. Together, they finished whatever was left of the beverages in silence.

"I"m thinking that I might move back home."

The brother looked at the sister. She didn't look like she was saying those words out of spite. He had enjoyed the feeling of having family within the big city, even if he rarely ever did sought her company.

"Honestly, I've been wanting to do this for a while now. You know, I followed you here because I had this noble assumption that you needed the company, but if the last few years have taught me anything, it is that I was very wrong."

"Don't say that."

"I'm not saying it's your fault, it is what it is Brother, there's no need for excuses."

"What about your job?"

"There's a nurse anaesthesiologist opening at the hospital back home, I've already applied for the position. They're taking me into consideration."

"Seems to me you've got it all planned out."

"Trouble is, if I do get that job and I end up leaving, will you be alright on your own?"

For whatever reason, hearing the concern in her voice made him smile.

"You're not my keeper ZiQian, there's no need for you to consider me in the plans relating to your life. Besides, I'm not alone, I have friends here."

"Do you still remember what happened to you when he died?"

She looked away then, eyes trained on the foot traffic along the pavement outside. She did not want to look her brother in the eye while she dug into their shared past because she knew he would be staring those blue eyes right into her, and she didn't want to face that.

"What has it got to do with-"

"Let me finish Brother. I promise you I will only say this once, so please..."

A group of afternoon shoppers caught her eye, tourists by the looks of it, a bunch of carefree teenagers with colourful hair and wearing the latest runway trends. She gave them all of her attention until they were well out of her sight.

"I almost lost a brother that night had it not been for HeTian. He saved your life, which is why I tolerate him today. As far as I can tell, he's practically your only friend in this city, but he isn't a good friend. He's the sort of person who will bring out the worst in you the longer you spend time with him. I'm sure you'll testify to that."

A pair of mothers with their young children walked by, the littlest one with his face red and scrunched up from a bout of crying, being dragged along the path by an older child. The women seemed oblivious to the drama happening just behind them, chatting away as though nothing had happened.

"And now you've decided to get yourself involved with someone who looks exactly like the reason you wanted to take your own life before, so forgive me if my only belief is that it cannot possibly end well for you."

The street was suddenly cleared of pedestrians, so she finally brought her attention back to the man sitting across the table from her.

"I didn't have to move here. I was very happy to stay where I was. I came anyway because you're my family, and that's what family should do for one another. However, whether consciously or not, you've pushed me away every chance you've got, so it makes me wonder, why should I even bother?"

She looked at him, and for the first time she realised, she could no longer bring herself to feel the disappointment that had blanketed her so often when it came to matters involving her own brother. She was determined now to go home and resume the life she had once abandoned, even if a part of her still believe it was a selfish thing to do.

"Mom used to tell me this every time I would complain to her about you, that you're a big boy now and should know how to take care of yourself, that I should spend that time and energy worrying about my own self instead."

Lunch hour was slowly winding down, evidenced by how there were more empty tables than there were occupied ones. Soon it would be far too quiet to carry out a private conversation without the entire establishment eavesdropping upon them.

"I should get going, my shift's gonna start soon and I've got a bunch of stuff I need to do before that. You'll take care of the bill right bro?"

Zhan ZhengXi was at a loss for words, he felt like he had just been reprimanded by his mother. His sister had obviously inherited most of her traits. 

"I didn't realise what a disappointment I've been to you. Clearly I haven't done my duty as your brother. For that I'm sorry."

"The point of it all was not to get an apology out of you. I have no need for it. I just want you to understand that I may not be around to pick up the pieces for you in future."

She stood up, adjusted her dress then walked over to him, placing her hands over his broad shoulders, giving it a squeeze.

"I have no right to dictate what you do with your life, I just hope you can see the mistakes you've made before it's too late."

—

 

It was a sobering moment, seeing white lines forming shapes upon a black screen on the monitor. He watched it with endless fascination while it moved, proving that it was alive. He caught himself thinking; so this is a human life. He turned his attention away to observe the barely visible swell of her belly, now covered in transparent goo, then back to the monitor as they continued with the ultrasound examination.

He remembered having been subjected to this same treatment back when he was still a young boy, when he had an unknown tummy ache for several days and his mother thought he had indigestion. His father was still around at the time, and it was he who took little him to the hospital where it turned out that the pebble that he had been double dared to swallow was only trying to make its way to the tail end of young Mo GuanShan's digestive system.

"Everything seems to be in order, it's developing as it should. At the next visit we will be able to tell if it's going to be a boy or a girl. Are you keen to find out the gender? Or would you rather wait until the delivery? I know some couples prefer to wait and I don't wish to spoil that."

Both the doctor and the woman stared at the man expectantly, who appear to be zoning out.

"GuanShan?"

A touch of a hand, and Mo GuanShan snapped out of his reverie.

"What? Oh... erm... why don't you decide?"

These days he seemed less and less like himself, more and more like someone he didn't recognise anymore. While everyone else around him was basking and glowing in an air of the double happiness, he alone was feeling rather miserable and out of place. It certainly did not help that all he could think about was a particular man with dark hair and grey eyes, and how it pained him that he couldn't have him anymore.

He glanced over to the woman he would soon marry, and he had the sudden urge to just run away. And as he allowed the thought to fester and bloom in his mind, he attempted to brush away the fear that he may be making the worst decision of his life. His life was filled with regrets and he was tired of constantly having to add on to the pile.

"Well, I was thinking that if we're going to find out eventually anyway..."

"I'm good with whatever you decide Babe."

He gave his best smile, then excused himself to the restroom, annoyed with the fact that he was shaking from the insomnia he's been suffering at night, and the stress of having to function like he was truly happy all the time. He took a breath, steadied himself, then pulled out his phone to stare at the number he knew he couldn't call, but his impulsive self did anyway.

He felt his heart leap into his throat for the first few seconds, adrenaline pumping through his veins so that he could hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears. Then as the phone rang on, his heart sank. He hung up when it went to voicemail, slammed his phone on the countertop and proceeded to punch the wall, all while wishing he could scream in frustration,

He shouldn't be surprised that HeTian had chosen to ignore his phone call, but he was taken aback by just how much it hurt him to be ignored like that. It was the second time he had impulsively tried to reach out, and it stung more than it did the first attempt.

He ran the tap in the sink and splashed the cold water over his face, unable to even look himself in the mirror.

"What am I doing?"

Barely a whisper to himself, and no one with him to help with his answer, he pocketed his phone, towelled off his face and steeled himself to walk back into the world. This is what life would be like for him from now on, and perhaps some day he would get used to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for if you were expecting some exciting plot development in this chapter because you've come to the end and basically nothing has happened.... I've run out of ideas.   
> (side note: I've written out the last chapter to this story months ago, now I'm trying to fill in the plots that will get me to that end chapter lol)


	13. Chapter 13 - THIRTEEN DAYS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

"Are we ever gonna talk about what happened?"

Zhan ZhengXi tried to make it sound as casual as possible, he even avoided looking at JianYi just so the other could take the chance to avoid the question, should he desired to do so. He knew he had made a promise before to wait until JianYi was ready to open up to him, but the suspense of the wait, coupled with the sense of guilt that he had unknowingly gone and done something terrible gnawed at him so badly, he was finding it unbearable and he needed relief.

They were out on a date, Zhan ZhengXi taking JianYi to the aquarium as an alternative to the cinema or the shopping malls as a way to hide from the summer heat that was starting to make its way over the city. The blonde stopped walking when he reached the tank where all the jellyfishes were floating about aimlessly in a backdrop of colourful neon lights. In the darkened space, Zhan ZhengXi could barely make out JianYi's face, but he could tell that his boyfriend wasn't focused on the specimens anymore.

"I know I said I'd wait, and I will if you want me to, but I really hope you'd trust me enough to talk to me about anything."

He stepped behind JianYi and wrapped his arms around JianYi's waist, smiling when the latter leaned his weight against him. He buried his face in the nook of the blonde's neck and breathed, taking in the scent of strawberries and sweaty skin. They remained this way until the sound of footfalls alerted him to the fact that they weren't quite alone, and although ZhengXi was reluctant, he still decided to pull himself away.

"There's really nothing to talk about XiXi, you caught me off guard and I panicked. That's all."

He watched on as JianYi moved away from the display and started walking off to the next one, as if trying to walk away from their conversation. He followed, determined this time to pry until he was shut out again like the last time.

"I believe that, but your reaction was..."

They moved out of the space, where it gave way to a large hall with a viewing gallery filled with all sorts of big fish swimming about in a slow and lazy manner and soothing music could be heard blasting out of overhead speakers.

"Why are you so convinced that something's wrong with me?"

They had stopped in the middle of the gallery. Within the enormous tank, a little boy had spotted a diver who had a bucket with him and what obviously was fish feed within, because the big fishes were slowly making their way to him, and all the little kids were flocking their way to the glass to catch a glimpse. JianYi ignored all that, turning to stand facing Zhan ZhengXi as everyone else circled around to avoid them like an obstacle. He was on the defensive, hands stuck deep within the pocket of his jeans, shoulders slouched and his back hunched while he stared hard at the brunette, a frown between his brows which made ZhengXi wary to take any action.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to."

He looked at the blonde and he could imagine in his head just how this conversation and their date by proxy would end, and he was determined not to let it happen, so instead of responding, he simply reached out, took him by the hand, and led them out of the venue, grateful that JianYi complied without any objection.

Outdoors the heat could be obviously felt, though the breeze that accompanied was still cool enough to keep them both comfortable. Zhan ZhengXi stopped by a vending machine for drinks on the way to the riverside where they found a quiet spot to sit themselves down. He never once let go of JianYi's hand until then.

"JianYi, look at me."

At times he felt like he was dealing with a child. Though in many ways, JianYi was still a child and right now, he was hell bent on avoiding conversation entirely. Zhan ZhengXi was patient, and eventually he was rewarded when the blonde relented and gave him his attention.

"Don't you trust me?"

JianYi didn't want to answer so he lowered his head and the other responded by taking his hands and interlaced their fingers.

"You know just how much I like you JianYi, I care a lot about you, and I really wanna know all about you, and that includes your past. Even if it's something bad, I wanna learn all about it."

JianYi tried to take his hands back, but Zhan ZhengXi anticipated he would do just that and held onto those hands tightly, drawing him closer.

"I know something happened to you in your past that made you react that way and I feel terrible to be the one that triggered it. Do you really want to leave it to me to make guesses and assumptions about what happened to you?"

"What do you want me to do? Zhan ZhengXi, what would you like me to say?"

JianYi's voice was unusually calm, almost as if he was contemplating out loud to himself and no one else was there. He lifted his head and looked the other in the eye, maintaining silence for a while before he spoke.

"Just how badly do you want me to admit that I was raped?"

JianYi expected there to be a whole wave of emotions, and instead he just felt flat, like the words meant nothing. It surprised him enough that he ended up frowning at himself. Zhan ZhengXi on the other hand was feeling a little lost, and wishing for once that his guess had been wrong.

"I'm sorry."

"ZhengXi, I don't need your apology or your sympathy, so take them back."

The boy forcefully took his captive hands back and rose from the ground to stand, steady gaze fixed upon the man who had insisted to open a can of worms, yet was too much of a coward to make any attempts to sieve through it. In a way JianYi was grateful that his boyfriend did not immediately begin to pry his way into his past to find out what happened. He wasn't prepared at all to delve into those suppressed memories to tell it all, he didn't want to risk a chance for that silver haired snake to come crawling back into his nightly dreams.

"What I want is to go home. Let's go home."

He walked away to trash the half drunk drink can, then turned and waited for the other to catch up.

—

 

JianYi slowly made his way into the compound, greeting the man at the security desk by the elevator doors. He reported the unit number he would be visiting, then made his way up to the top floor. It was a tall building, so it gave him a bit of time standing in the lift all by himself to think. When the doors opened he walked over to the door right at the end, adjusting the bags of food in his hands so as to free up one of them.

Summer was well along its way and the humidity in the air made everything feel sticky. Sweat made his thin cotton T-shirt cling to his back, and he regretted the decision not to switch to a thinner jacket before he left. He rang the door bell as a courtesy to announce his arrival, then wasted no time as he pushed the numbers into the digital lock pad, his mind thinking only of the cold, air conditioned space beyond the door he was unlocking.

Two things that greeted him the moment he stepped in through the threshold. The first was clearly the overwhelming absence of cool air that should have wafted its way out when he opened the door, and the second was appearance of a red headed woman, dressed in skimpy shorts and a cropped tank top making her way out the door as he headed in. He stared intently at the back of her retreating figure for a tad longer than was necessary before letting the door pull its own weight shut.

He saw that the windows were open, the curtains barely moving as a testament to just how still the air was on the outside. It was cooler to stay outdoors at this point, summer had moved in unexpectedly. He made his way to the kitchen and deposited the food he had brought with him on the countertop, noticing that HeTian was nowhere to be seen, though he could clearly hear signs of his presence deeper into the apartment.

Digging his phone out of his pocket, he fired off a bunch of messages to various people, including one to his boyfriend regarding the woman he had bumped into on his way in. Then setting the device down on the counter, he began to open cupboards and drawers, pulling out plates and utensils and removing the covers off the food containers before putting them all on the dining table.

Fed up with the stuffiness and the stifling heat, he reached for the remote to the air conditioner, and found out at last the reason why HeTian left the apartment to bake. It was unresponsive no matter what he did, so he concluded that it must be broken. Resigning to his fate, he peeled off the jacket that was already damp with his sweat and draped it over the back of a chair to air off. His T-shirt was in the same state of dampness, and it clung onto his skin quite uncomfortably.

"HeTian? I brought lunch, are you awake?"

JianYi wished he were back home so that he could at least change his shirt and take a shower and as he walked past the bathroom he contemplated the idea before refusing the chance and carried on looking for the owner of the apartment who was most likely to be in the bedroom. As he approached, he found the door to be ajar and he caught a glimpse of HeTian sitting on his bed with his back facing the door.

He hesitated, stopping short of entering the room. HeTian wasn't fully dressed, he didn't have a shirt on, which wasn't strange considering the fact that he lived here, and it really was very warm. What he did find strange was the way HeTian had sat back with his weight propped up with one arm, muscles on his back straining to keep him from falling, his head angled back as if to stare at the ceiling. He could not tell what HeTian was doing with his free hand.

"Erm... HeTian?"

A soft knock against the wood to announce his entrance, he padded softly over, curiosity to see what the other was up to getting to him until he regretted the very decision to satisfy it.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry!"

The blonde considered adding onto the apology, thought better of it, then turned his tail and very nearly ran himself out the room.

—

 

The very first time that JianYi had appeared at his door bearing gifts of food and notably without his good friend Zhan ZhengXi was a handful of days after he had returned from his little disappearing act to Shanghai. He had stayed a couple of hours, offered to help clean up the apartment of the mess he had made prior to his departure, then eagerly left after he had convinced the blonde that he was hiring help to restore the apartment back to its former glory. He gave Zhan ZhengXi a call after that, demanding an explanation, but the good friend was determined to give very little away.

A few days passed and JianYi then appeared at his door again, also bearing gifts of food which he decided was best not to refuse. It piqued his curiosity that JianYi had kept on running circles whenever he attempted to pry out information as why he was there, and by the third visit, funded by two attempts from Mo GuanShan to get in touch with him, HeTian had it more or less figured out. He did not appreciate the effort, he did not want the effort to be made, he knew more or less how it would end up if he confronted everyone involved about it, so he decided to have a little fun.

HeTian knew the pattern by now. JianYi always called to make sure he would be present before showing up, so this time he gave the combination to his lock and asked the blonde to let himself in, then he made a phone call of his own.

The girls arrived with ample time for him to formulate a plan before JianYi was due to arrive. They were very professional, demanding payment upfront and spelling out what they were willing or not willing to do for the amount they were about to be paid. HeTian still vividly remembered that expression on the boy's face when he had accidentally walked in on him and Mo GuanShan having sex by the shared pool at the resort, and he was willing to admit that he had desire to see that face again. At the time JianYi had been frozen from a mix of rude shock and fascination, and HeTian had believed the blonde would have stood there until they had orgasmed had Zhan ZhengXi not showed up in time to break the spell.

He hadn't counted on his air conditioner crapping out on him that morning, but it didn't matter, hot or cold he was fine, though the same couldn't be said of the delicate girls. One decided to quit at the very last minute so he offered the other more money. He heard the door bell ring, thus told the one leaving to do so immediately. He kept his room door open on purpose, both to hear better what went on outside, and to lure JianYi in when he eventually walked over.

JianYi did not disappoint, choosing the best time possible to walk in on him. She was half naked and kneeling on the floor, wedged between HeTian's parted thighs with his hard cock deep inside her mouth while she happily sucked away as though it was the best thing she ever tasted. HeTian kept a sly eye on the boy and a satisfied smirk on his face as the intruder stopped in his tracks. It must have been quite the sight for JianYi to stumble upon, and for a few precious seconds he couldn't do anything but to stare with his lips parted, then as though his brain finally fired up, he stuttered a reply and ran out of his room.

Once JianYi had disappeared he set his sights on person between his legs, dutifully blowing him, and as he idly brushed his fingers through her short blonde locks, he realised how much it resembled JianYi's. She also had a similar build though she was shorter in height, and also, he never heard his door open and shut after JianYi had stepped out, meaning the boy was still hanging around in his apartment somewhere.

He stopped her at once, pulled her into bed then stripped her completely naked before he bent her over and plunged into her without so much as showing a bit of courtesy towards her. Then he grabbed a fistful of her hair pushed his weight in so that she couldn't lift her head without a struggle and without giving her time to adjust, proceeded to drill into her, allowing a grin to show on his own face while her initial cries of distress gave way to drawn out, pleasured moans. He kept fucking her into the white sheets until he came.

—

 

JianYi had sat himself down on the sofa, and for whatever mysterious reason he could not comprehend just why he was still sitting here. Any other normal person would have already left, especially when the unfiltered sounds of people having sex began to fill the space he was sitting in. He contemplated stuffing his fingers in his ears, but he knew they weren't that good at actually excluding sounds when the environment was too quiet.

He deliberated for clearly a very long time before he decided that he should just leave, but when he made the move to get up the sounds had stopped, and again hesitated, not sure what HeTian might think if he knew he had sat through the whole session and left as soon as it was over, so he ended up staying put, sitting himself back down before grabbing a throw pillow to place over his crotch because right now he was having the most unwilling erection, and he didn't want to risk discovery.

The woman was the first one out, unfazed by the fact that JianYi was still around, he walked on by and showed herself out without so much as sparing a glance towards his direction. HeTian sauntered out a short while after, yawning as he wiped the sweat off his brow with a towel in one hand. He stopped in front of JianYi, positioned one knee on the sofa so that he was half straddling the boy, bent over so close that he left no wiggle room. He took notice of the pillow and right away he smiled.

"Which performance did you like best? The one at the resort last time, or the one that just ended?"

JianYi now tried his best to avoid all eye contact. Acutely aware of his erection, he was finding it difficult to will it away. He just hoped HeTian did not figure it out.

"I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to walk in on you again."

His brain was unwilling to cooperate however, and brought up memories of the previous encounter. He could vividly still picture what he saw, though mercifully he couldn't hear what he had heard that night. He fought hard now to avoid any eye contact, his face starting to turn pink.

"Shouldn't you be looking at the person when you're apologising? Unless of course... you didn't mean it?"

That caught JianYi's attention and he looked up.

"Had I known, I wouldn't have come."

"I've told you before not to come anymore, it wasn't a suggestion."

HeTian moved to rest his other knee on the sofa, balancing his weight and effectively trapping JianYi into place between his knees. He placed both hands on either side of JianYi's shoulders to emphasise the fact.

"I just thought you needed the company."

JianYi tried his best to sound like he believed the words that were coming out of his mouth, but with HeTian hovering over him like that, he found it difficult to sound convincing.

"You really think I don't know what this is all about? Mo set you up to do this didn't he? What does he want with me?"

JianYi allowed a long pause as he went over in his head what HeTian had just said. he wasn't really sure that the other had meant all the words exactly, yet he wasn't convinced that HeTian was pulling a bluff. He was overthinking it, and in the moment of distraction, failed to react in time when HeTian reached between them to snatch the pillow and throw it off to a far corner of the room. In one swift motion, HeTian moved one knee and placed it precisely between JianYi's parted thighs, close enough that he was almost brushing against the obvious bulge that stubbornly refused to go away.

"Looks painful, need a little help getting rid of that?"

JianYi leaned as far back into the sofa as he could, begging for distance as he reached out to place his palms against HeTian's bare chest, still sleek from sweat. He seem to realise then that his friend was clad in only a pair of boxer shorts. He tried his best not to look.

"Get off me."

"Not until you tell me."

To emphasise his point, HeTian leaned in, the action itself causing an uncomfortable amount of friction he knew was desperately not what the youth had wanted. It amused him that the blonde would try so hard to pretend he wasn't the least bit affected when his cheeks were blushing harder by the minute.

"Fine, I'll tell you, but first get off me."

"That is not how this works Xiao Yi"

He rubbed his weight in a little further, relishing the immediate reaction he got from JianYi, who bit his lip and lowered his head in order to hide his discomfort. From where HeTian stood, he remembered the girl from before, sucking him off with her short blonde locks falling down her face.

"Mo GuanShan came looking for me after what happened between you. He said he didn't wanna contact you, and Xi wasn't answering his calls. He's worried about you and he wanted me to help check in if I could. I should have just rejected him. Now get off me you sick fuck."

HeTian let out a short laugh in response to JianYi's attempt to push him off, the latter finding himself defenceless when on a whim, HeTian had grabbed him by the wrists and forced his arms back to either side of him.

"HeTian, this isn't funny!"

"I'll let you go if you tell me why you haven't slept with Zhan ZhengXi, especially when your body is so responsive, and he's clearly dying to eat you up."

"How is that any of your businnngh,,,,"

JianYi choked back a moan when HeTian suddenly moved to tease a nipple through his still damp T-shirt. He made a sloppy attempt to slap away that hand before he grabbed hold of the thigh still between his legs, resisting the urge now to simply give in and grind his hips into the increasing pressure.

"I know Zhan ZhengXi isn't the one holding back, he's told me before, he can't wait to get you naked and in bed. You don't seem like a virgin to me either, so why?"

He might have been enjoying himself just a little too much watching the boy squirming under him, wanting to do more even as he recognised the fact that he was pushing the line just a little too far. The fact that JianYi belonged with his best friend was the only thing preventing him from taking the youth right there and then, and he silently wondered if he could be so morally corrupt that he was willing to risk his decades long friendship just to satisfy his curiosity. He very much wanted to hear JianYi crying and screaming beneath him while he ploughed himself right into that sweet ass, spanking him hard enough he would be marked for days.

Just the very act of imagining it was enough to induce arousal and it did not go unnoticed through his shorts. JianYi shut his eyes when he saw it, he needed less stimulation, not more. He wanted the adrenaline that came with a panic attack so he could force himself out of the situation but it was not forthcoming.

"Ah Xi won't like this. Please don't do this."

He had lost his voice, his words coming out in a whisper because he could not trust himself not to moan. Unfortunately it also meant that HeTian couldn't hear very well and he had to lean in far too close. HeTian was aware that he should stop, knew that to go any further would be the definition of crossing the line, knew that he would be betraying a friendship he could not afford to lose. But he also realised that none of that mattered to him anymore. He had lost the only thing that was important to him, so why not drag everything else to hell with him?

"Just relax."

He closed the distance and his lips found the blonde's neck, tongue darting out to taste the salty skin at the same time he removed his knee and replaced it with an expert hand. He heard JianYi let out a whimper of a moan and it emboldened him to continue, fighting off the boy's last attempts to push him away, he could feel the other shaking. Just a bit more and his friend was sure to break.

JianYi felt frightened by his own lack of self control and the fact that he couldn't master enough strength or will to pull himself out of the situation. His head swam as he thought about Zhan ZhengXi, though he found he was unable to focus with the tongue teasing his neck. He was especially sensitive there. He almost didn't want HeTian to stop, and when HeTian finally unzipped his jeans and freed his aching cock, it was all he could do to cling to the man and thrust his hips against the warm hand wrapped around his shaft.

Encouraged by what was happening, HeTian sank his teeth down on a spot at the boy's exposed nape, moving his hand against the rhythm of those hip thrusts with just the right amount of pressure and speed to earn him the sounds of loud moans that JianYi did his best to keep muffled.

Watching the other finally give in to his own carnal desire was enough satisfaction to have HeTian decide that he wouldn't do anything more to JianYi today, and as the blonde reached the end of his tether, he pushed himself as far back away from HeTian, back arching against the sofa whilst he came, hot white cum shooting down HeTian's hand that hadn't slowed its movement, while JianYi squeezed his eyes shut and covered his mouth tight with his own hands so he could contain the scream.

HeTian could tell that JianYi was exhausted, panting for air with his head lolled back, with flushed cheeks and a dazed look almost tempting HeTian to do more. Still, he looked like he was on the brink of tears, so HeTian stood up and began to walk away, just in case impulse were to hit him enough to change his mind. After all, it was not his intention to make the boy develop a hatred towards him.

"Don't come over on your own anymore JianYi. You're too much of a temptation for me, and if there's a next time, it won't just end like this. Consider it a warning."

—

 

Zhan ZhengXi repositioned himself on the floor, back against the sofa, game console controller in his hands. He had been sat on the sofa before, fidgeting like crazy, feeling a sense of unease being unable to complete a stage he had no problems with the last time he attempted it. Sometime later he heard the front door open and JianYi quietly making his way in, though instead of his usual happy greeting, the latter simply dumped all his stuff by the kitchenette and headed straight into the bathroom. Distracted, he paused the game and put his attention towards the closed door, wondering if JianYi had a stomachache before he heard the shower being turned on.

He shrugged off the unusual behaviour with a guess that it must have been the heat, then put his controller aside and stepped away to make them both coffee. It struck him as odd when the other was taking a longer time than usual with his shower, but when he wanted to check in, JianYi came out with steam pouring out of the bathroom, wrapped only in a towel with his skin all flushed. Clearly he had been showering with water that was obviously too hot.

"I made coffee, do you..."

JianYi didn't bother to acknowledge the other's presence, avoiding physical, verbal and even eye contact, acting like his boyfriend wasn't actually there. He climbed onto the loft, dumped his towel onto the floor and slipped under the sheets into bed, ignoring the fact that his hair was still dripping wet. He curled up and hugged himself, shutting his eyes and hoped Zhan ZhengXi, who had been left speechless by the bathroom would get the hint and leave him alone for a while. He was in no mood to interact with anyone.

Of course the man who had been treated to such bizarre behaviour wouldn't quietly go away to enjoy a cup of brewed coffee on his own without first attempting to find out just what had triggered it.

"JianYi?"

He made his approach slowly, trying to deduce a likely explanation from the understanding that JianYi had just returned from a visit to his best friend's place. He had the sudden image of sending a lamb into the tiger's den popping up in his head, though he tried to be optimistic as he stared at the bundle in his bed.

"What's wrong? Did something happen with HeTian?"

"Ask him yourself."

Zhan ZhengXi was frowning now, such a curt response was a first for him. He sat himself down on the futon. He could tell from touch that JianYi's back was facing him.

"Why don't you tell me? Did he bully you?"

The brunette reached over to peel the covers away and the first thing that he could see was the bruised flesh upon the nape in stark contrast against the pale skin, and it was then that he felt his stomach roll. There was no mistaking that for anything other than a hickey, and it wasn't there at all when he'd left the apartment.

"What did he do to you?"

"Don't touch me!"

JianYi moved to slap the hand away when the brunette tried to touch the spot on his neck that had been violated. Having seen it in the mirror, the sight of it made him sick, and knowing how it will not disappear for days filled him with anger. He wanted to punch something, and although he knew it wasn't ZhengXi's fault, he still could not help but direct his frustrations at him. He will apologise later, but for now, he needed someone else to know he wasn't happy.

"Did HeTian..."

Zhan ZhengXi didn't dare jump to conclusions and imagine the worse. In the back of his mind, he recalled past conversations with his friend, while they were too drunk or too high and couldn't move away from the topic of sex. He knew how much HeTian had once fancied his high school lover, going as far as to give him graphic details of just what he would have done had they not ended up together. He also knew very well just how unhinged HeTian had been since Mo GuanShan had left him again. He believed the man to be capable of doing anything.

"...He didn't, did he?"

Peeling off the rest of the covers, he started checking for other signs of bruising, though before he could expose all his skin, JianYi stopped him with a grab of his wrist and an accusing glare as he positioned himself to sit.

"Did he what? Rape me? No, but with what he did to me instead it makes no difference. It might have been better if he had gone all the way and fucked me."

He was visibly shaking as he said it, and there was no mistaking from the state of his eyes that he had been crying.

"Tell me."

JianYi took a deep breath, a futile attempt to calm down.

"You wouldn't like it."

"Tell me anyway."

His boyfriend had remained frighteningly calm, and to JianYi, that was an indication to him of how well the man understood HeTian's character. They weren't good friends for nothing.

"He did it on purpose, he planned it. He knew I was coming, gave me the combination to his lock so he didn't need to let me in. Those girls were professional escorts and he made sure I walked in on him the way I had walked in on him and GuanShan having sex at that resort."

He gave pause, knowing that up until that point, no one could have turned it around and accused him of being at fault.

"I should have left, I don't understand why I didn't. Maybe I thought he would have the courtesy to stop? But they started having sex, and I found I couldn't leave anymore because I stalled for too long and I had this embarrassing hard on he later found out about."

He was fidgeting, turning himself and moving to put some distance between them and slowly gathering the comforter around like some sort of protective cover.

"He humiliated me, gave me a hand job I didn't want, and in the process made me feel like I needed it. He could've made me beg for it and I would have. He's exactly like..."

He suddenly thought of SheLi and all his mind games and he felt sick.

"He must have done it before, to GuanShan or someone else. He knew what to do, how to do it, and you look like you already know what he's like, so I don't understand how you could have someone that vile be your best friend. I don't want to have anything to do with him anymore, and you can go tell him that I fucking quit. To hell with him."

—

 

They decided upon meeting in the middle of the night. The underground carpark was mostly deserted with the exception of a few overnight cars. Zhan ZhengXi had arrived first, standing under a light, patiently watching the entrance. He felt like he should be smoking, though he was thankful not to have access to a cigarette for he required a steady hand. He had spent most of the evening trying to pacify an upset boyfriend so he was now looking for a bone to pick.

He heard the arrival of the vehicle long before it even made the appearance, the roar of the combustion, followed by the methodic purr of the V8 engine looking to impress anyone who heard it. If HeTian was looking to make a statement, then his friend had obviously lost the sense to appreciate it.

Usually ZhengXi would climb into the car and they would then find somewhere else to go. Today however, he displayed no signs of moving, so eventually HeTian reluctantly parked the car and got out. He thought he would greet his friend the usual way, but when he got close enough, ZhengXi had suddenly shown him a spectacular right hook to his face that left him staggering to prevent himself from hitting the ground. He tried to focus, tasting blood in his mouth from having bitten his tongue.

Zhan ZhengXi followed it up with an uppercut to the chin which gave HeTian barely any time to recover and retaliate. He made a calculated guess that the brunette might go for another attack soon and made the move, throwing his body at ZhengXi with his arms wrapped around the torso, pushing them both to the ground. Once on top of him, HeTian had the upper hand, throwing sharp punches to the side of his ribs while Zhan ZhengXi desperately tried to block.

He heard his nose crack before he felt it, Zhan ZhengXi delivering the sucker punch to his face just after he had stopped attacking the other with the assumption that the brunette would stop. He knew why he was being attacked, but the blood dripping down his nose felt to him like he didn't deserve this. He pushed himself off his friend, and with what felt like anger rising in the pit of his belly, grabbed onto the brunette and forcefully got him to his feet by his short hair, bent him over before he took a knee and connected it to an unprotected torso. He gave that same spot a few more blows before he pushed the man away.

Zhan ZhengXi wasn't much of a fighter compared to the other, he had relied on the element of surprise to get at his friend with the hopes that he would get a leg up and it had worked pretty well up till the point where it didn't. Now he found himself on his hands and knees vomiting up whatever had still occupied his stomach until a moment ago, still debating internally with himself if it was such a good idea to continue a losing fight.

"Let's stop."

HeTian walked up to Zhan ZhengXi, blood still slowly dripping onto the ground. He hadn't bothered trying to staunch the flow, knowing from past experience that the site of impact would swell up enough to cut it off eventually.

"Yeah."

Zhan ZhengXi slapped away the helping hand that had been offered to him before he moved clear away from the pool of puke and settled down to lie on his back, panting to regain the wind that had been knocked out of him. He ignored the presence of the man that had chosen to sit down beside him, choosing instead to stare at the ceiling with the sickly lights.

"You probably don't want to hear me apologise."

"No you fucking bastard. What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Why are you so worked up? You talk like we didn't used to trade girlfriends."

"So what if we did? JianYi is off limits, you of all people should know that."

HeTian took out a cigarette, lighted it up and ended up coughing as he took the first puff. He pulled the stick away and stared at it like it had just betrayed him.

"Are you sure you're not just telling me that because I got to him first? I'd be just as pissed if I had been saving that piece of pie only to have someone else bite into it before I even got the chance to smell it."

There was a surprising silence that came from ZhengXi when there should have been an outraged response or a smart comeback. It threw HeTian off enough that for a moment, he was unsure of what to do. So he took another breath of his cigarette, found that it didn't mix well with the taste of iron on his tongue and flicked it to a far corner without bothering to put it out.

"He's so well trained, I don't get why you still haven't laid hands on him. That cute face he made during orgasm, it took everything I had not to take him afterwards."

In one swift movement he had sat up, spun around and grabbed HeTian by the collar of his shirt, fist poised ready to deliver another blow before he was stopped by the sight of HeTian's swollen face. It occurred to him then that none of the punches he received were directed at his face.

"How would you have liked it if I had done the same to GuanShan?"

"Mo's not your type."  He said, as a matter of factly. "And he's never belonged to me the way that you have JianYi now. Though to answer your question, I would very much like to watch."

"You sick fuck."

"Funny, JianYi called me the same thing. I believe his exact words were 'get off me you sick fuck', and technically, that's what I did, I helped him get off."

A flash of teeth from HeTian in a proud smile, but Zhan ZhengXi was looking less than happy.

"He told?"

"Why else would I be here throwing punches at you? You have no clue do you? What you've done to him."

"I've done worse to other people."

"But JianYi, he's different."

"How so?"

The brunette did not know how to broach the subject without revealing too much. He was quite sure that JianYi would be livid if the trauma of his past ever got out, but he wasn't certain he could force HeTian to see his mistake while keeping it secret.

"He was raped."

It was all that he needed to say, and he had been grateful to his friend for not responding inappropriately. The rich man still had enough morals left in him to look way after processing what his friend had told, frowning to himself while he reflected on his own actions less than twenty four hours ago.

"Shit."

"I found out the hard way. Forced myself on him the morning I returned, only to have him freak the hell out on me. Took him days before he could tell me why. And now you've gone and fucked it up even more."

"Did he say what happened?"

"He only said it was a fellow student in high school that did it. Supposedly because JianYi didn't fancy him back, and that it wasn't a one time thing. He refused to say anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"Well fuck you too."

—

 

Zhan ZiQian shut the door to the examination room behind her. She took a look at the once perfect face seated on the bed and resisted the urge to roll her eyes while she breathed a sigh. She had just come from treating her own brother, who had conveniently managed to gloss over the details of his injury.

"Look what the cat dragged in."

"Missed you too little one."

"As I recall, the last time my brother beat your face up so badly was after he found out you'd stolen my virginity. What did you do to him this time?"

"Tried to fuck his boyfriend."

She gave pause, staring at the patient, wondering if she should take his words at face value before she decided it really was none of her business and thus proceeded to clean the wounds so she could dress them.

"What's this, you're not even curious?"

"If it involves you, then it must be nothing good."

"Ouch."

She looked at the swollen eye and bruised jaw and noted down that HeTian did not require stitches in those areas, then she went ahead to work on the possibly broken nose.

"Is it true you're leaving Beijing?"

"Why? You gonna miss me?"

"It's not like you to abandon your brother."

She set aside the gauze soaked in blood and picked a new piece, using the interim to think over that statement.

"He doesn't want me here. Besides, it's time I stopped hanging onto his coat tails."

"Look at you, all grown up."

"Shut up and stay still."

To his credit, HeTian did stay quiet and let her do her job. When she was done, she wrote down more observations and left the room momentarily to call in a doctor to give HeTian an examination before writing down a prescription for pain medication upon declaration that his injuries weren't severe enough to warrant any sort of surgery. On the pretext that she was experiencing a busy shift, she left the room shortly after the doctor did, having given HeTian all the papers he would need to check himself out.

He thought it was pretty heartless of her, though he understood that there was absolutely no love lost between them, and given their history, he was surprised that she had chosen to remain on talking terms with him all these years. He gathered what little belongings he had with him, then opened the door to step out, only to run into JianYi in the corridor, who took one look at HeTian and stopped walking.

JianYi had gotten a phone call in the middle of the night from Zhan ZiQian explaining just what had happened to her brother after confirmation that Zhan ZhengXi didn't bother to report in on his location and physical condition. JianYi of course had called his boyfriend and given him a scolding after their conversation had ended. He rushed his way to the hospital afterwards to take him home.

He knew HeTian was somewhere within the hospital, but he hadn't counted on running into him as soon as he had arrived, which caught him off guard and brought his steps into a complete halt. Steeling himself, he avoided eye contact and told himself he would simply walk past the other and pretend he wasn't there, though when the time came, he found himself grabbed by the arm and pulled into the room by HeTian.

Shut in a closed room alone with HeTian with his back against the wall and the other just barely an arm's length away and kept in place by a strong hand, JianYi tried his best not to overreact. The warning the man had given him before echoing in his head and he looked up at those bruises and tried to let the sight of them comfort him.

HeTian had dragged the blonde in on a whim, but now he had no idea how he should proceed. Should he apologise and try to smooth things out between them? Or should he continue to give into his whims like he hadn't yet learnt his lesson. Without Mo GuanShan to lend him a moral compass, he was beginning to revert to his old destructive self, but he wondered if that itself was such a bad thing.

"What do you want HeTian?"

HeTian smiled, for his mind suddenly came up with the idea to challenge himself to come up with a way to get Zhan ZhengXi and JianYi to join him in a threesome. He judged that this was definitely not the time to pitch such a lewd proposal. Perhaps after a bit of time plus a bit of grooming and persuasion he might.

"I want to apologise for what I did to you. I crossed a line with you and I'm deeply sorry. Will you forgive me?"

"You certainly don't look like you regret what you did. I know your type. I don't want your apology, I want you to stay the hell away from me."

"How can I do that when you work for my company and your lover's my best friend?"

"Then I quit. I'm sure ZhengXi can be considerate enough to keep me from seeing you. Let go of me."

JianYi didn't make any attempts to get his arm back. He wanted HeTian to release him by his own accord, for which HeTian, after watching the blonde stare at him expectantly, eventually did, but not before he placed a hand up against the wall, preventing JianYi's escape.

"Look kid, I made a mistake, it was an error of poor judgement and I apologise. You have your right not to forgive me and avoid me, but you should at least think about Ah Xi. I don't think he would appreciate being caught in the middle of this. How would he feel, being forced to think that he would have to take sides? Do you really want to make things difficult for him?"

JianYi knew that what HeTian had just said was akin to emotional blackmail, but it worked, the guilt of causing Zhan ZhengXi trouble tugging at his ability to formulate an answer that wouldn't have him sounding selfish and immature in the face of such an apology.

"How can I trust that you won't do it again?"

The older one shrugged, a smirk flashing across his beat up face as he took just a subtle step closer to the blonde.

"Simple, you don't."

Then he took another step, and they were so close now that HeTian could smell the fragrance from the shampoo used on those blonde locks. His line of sight fell to the angry bruise on JianYi's neck, and he admired it like it was some masterpiece.

"You're nose is broken, would you like for me to make it a permanent feature?"

It was such an unexpected response that HeTian found himself bursting into spontaneous laughter, and just like that, the spell was broken. HeTian then took two steps away and held the door open for JianYi to make his escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to throw HeTian and JianYi into a mix to see what would happen. I liked how it turned out, though I'm not sure if I should take it up a notch, get HeTian to play the villain. So many scenarios, so many possibilities! (lmao)


End file.
